Wow... ~_~

Yesterday was a shitty day for me.
Woke up, happy and at peace. I had had a few dreams that I remembered, and wanted to share with my two room-mates/siblings on our trip to work. We were all up at a 'em, ready to start the day.
We go out to my car, the good, new, reliable car that I had just taken a whack of time off, to buy, insure, inspect, etc..
Damn thing didn't start.
No power, nothing. Fuck!
So basically, I had to tell Tony and Jamie that their loser-of-a-brother is unreliable, and that they'd have to get a ride to work on their own.
Mum was sleeping on the couch, it being her day off, and I guess she woke up when I went inside to call the boss and let him know that we were going to be late because of me. She insisted on driving us to work in her company car, but I was upset. I took her ride in the end.
All day at work, my bitterness rode me. Everyone, EVERYTHING, just seemed to be against me. People in my way, things falling apart in my hands, my wounds seething in pain... Even mum in the cab that morning pissed me off by being herself.

This morning, I got up early, knowing I had to walk to work. I didnt know if Jamie had come home or not from the night before, and it's not my right to go check and find out if she was home. I got up and got dressed, and left.
Well, mum was outside, and she was waiting in her car for us. She made me wake up Tony and get him ready, so I did. I didn't know if Jamie was home, so I didn't go see.
Well, she was home, and I didn't find out until 5 minutes to 7 this morning, when she stormed into the lunchroom without a word. All day she's been quiet. I think she's mad at us.
She has every right to be mad at us, or me.
Today I made Tony take my overtime. I didn't want to stay. Just come home, clean up, and sleep.

I'm hoping my last day tomorrow is better.

I'm upset because I had to e-mail my dad and ask for a ride to their place from my place. I can't get down there on my own. I have gas money, but still, I was supposed to blaze in on my own power. No reply yet, but if they can't come and get me, then I won't be able to go to B.C. this summer, and I'll just have to cancel my vacation plans.

Meh. I'm still upset, tired from it all, and I feel helpless all the same.

Last night Samantha had a hissyfit. She stormed in and started screaming at Laurie, like she's the blame for all of her problems. Another one of Sam's crack-friends threatened to kill themselves AGAIN in a successful attempt to hurt Sam for whatever reasons. The fact that Sam's ex-boyfriend last summer DID kill himself in our nearby park by hanging himself leaves everyone with no doubt that they mean it.
Nobody cares though. They've been using the threat of it as a weapon against Sam, and if they're THAT cruel to say it, over and over, then they should just go ahead and DO IT, and spare us all the pain.
Well, Sam used it as an excuse to throw a tantrum, and attack my mum verbally and emotionally. She kicked the phone and lamp off the table beside her, she slammed the door and fridge multiple times, and screamed like a banshee for 8 minutes, ranting and raving that my mum sucks and everything.
It was very hard not to hurt Sam last night for me.
Mum had the week I'm scheduled to be back from B.C. to be HER week of vacation as well. One of the terms was that she be allowed the use of her company car. However, someone banged up their car, and is too cheap to fix it, so now Laurie has to share her vehicle with this other Yahoo. Now mum has no car at all on her days off.
Her wife is out drinking all the time, her wifes' kids hate her, there's no point to stay at home by herself, so she started sobbing last night and told me that she should just cancel and not do anything at all for herself.
I gave mum a 2 and a half hour back/head/neck rub last night, and comforted her, besides my horrible day. I told her that I would be back, and no matter what, we'd still go out and have at least a couple of day-trips together, her and I. I'm the only source of comfort in this world for her. And I find it sad, that a lazy, unsuccessful, un-ambitious kid like me, who is constantly being kicked around like a whipped puppy by everyone he cares about, and doesn't have a shred of self-respect, could be 'comforting' to anyone at all.

Meh. Don't mind the negative talk here. It's just how I feel, not what I believe. I'm going to bed early tonight, so I don't feel like this tomorrow. Goodnight.