Feelin' Good

-ast night me, Jamie, and my brother Tony had a much needed talk for once.
In our house, having an open and honest discussion can be a very hard thing to do, especially on some topics that involve change or personal feelings.

For some time now we've been planning (plotting) in secret many of our goals and plans. Tonywill be moving out with us in the spring, away from the oppression at home.
-Kim and Laurie seemunhappy because they have to constantly worry about their children, and boyfriends in the house, and the constant mess... Remove those problems, and maybe they'll be happy for once. Or maybe they'll realize that the reason they're unhappy is because they have issues of their own to sort out. Hopefully when they're on their own, they can bond together and sort out their mess.

I'm kind of doubtful about having Tony as a roommate, but if Jamie says she can handle him, then so be it. Especially since Tony has a girlfriend. What if she gets pregnant, or they fight, or make love too loudly... [Blushes]
I can see potential problems in the future, and I'm sure that Tony would love HIS own place, but he also has never really moved out on his own before and been responsible. It would be a great learning experience for him (and Jamie) to be on their own for once in their life.

I'm pretty sure that this time when I leave home again I'll be able to survive a little longer than before. Jamie, Tony, and I all three do not smoke, nor do we do meth or drink at home (maybe once in a blue moon, just the drinking part).
Jamie and I are solid, we rarely fight (but we have fought, kinda half-heartedly). She's a great buddy, wonderful 'sister', and someone I adore and respect. I treat her as an equal at work, and although I'd like to say that I would treat her as a man there, I can't. I still fret and worry whenever she gets put into situations that I don't like, like forced overtime and scary work locations. But I also realize that she's a strong woman, and that she can take care of herself. I'm glad she asks me for help now and then. It's good to see that she needs someone to lean on time to time, and that she isn't always an invincible rock.
Tony and I scrap, but never seriously. If he gets all serious on me and tells me to 'fuck off' I respect that. I don't push him around, he's my bro. I treat him as an equal and a very good friend. He's gonna finish his schooling, and then find a job. He's had enough hardships and rough times over the years. I want him to have an opportunity for the happiness and freedom that we're going to be working together for.

Tony and I are much closer now, especially since he's no longer the monster from an old divorce crying for attention. He has matured in ways that I can hardly explain, but he is going to be an outstanding man one day. He is compassionate and gentle with those he cares for, yet very aloof and uncaring for 'outsiders'. I can best try to describe him as 'Hyde' from 'That 70's Show'. He's a good guy, and I love him more as an adult because of his maturity and personality.
Jamie is a little too shy and seemingly not yet ready to embrace womanhood, but she's almost there. She has a strong goal in her sights, and the will to reach it. I am truly envious. Her personality is upbeat and full of life, and when she needs to be serious, she does so with a fierce sternness that I rarely see in others.
Me, I have some goals in mind, but nothing really career orientated. I know I want to be happy, do many of my hobbies, have room to do my stretches and excercises, and be able to do what I need to do without any guilt, conditions, restraints, or people in my way.

That chat last night refreshed the reasons why I'm working so hard, and the fact that we're all still committed to see it through. I was doubting whether or not I would still be wanted as a roommate. I can be downright gloomy at times, and self-defeating. However, when I'm happy I can be an amazing person. I think they both realize that. They know I won't wreck their lives or ruin their plans.
They both have friends that can make them laugh, or keep them constantly amused, or can offer rides and favors. Me, all I can offer is everything I have. My friendship, my strength, my comfort. I can offer them a chance to reach their goals, and a dependable person to live with who won't desert them in their hour of need. Plus, I leave the toilet seat down (Tony doesn't, lol).

I can't wait! ^_^