I can walk on my hands! >_<

Sure can!

Anyways...
This post is all about Jamie today.
For a few months, she's had a bad tooth. One of her molar thingies had a deep cavity in it. Now, her dentist would have loved to do a root canal for her, but...
...since she doesn't have her Native card, she wouldn't be covered by anything, and would have to pay the $2000 plus cost of getting it done, for one tooth, at the risk of it not being done correctly by the dentist.
After suffering quietly for a while now, she finally agreed to all of our advice, and went ahead and got the damn thing pulled today.
She asked me if it would hurt, and I told her it wouldn't. Just a quick needle or two, and the doc would have it out in no time.
Estimated time: 20 minutes.
Actual time: 45ish. Including freezing, and not just the actual extraction time I had estimated.
Estimated needles: 2.
Actual needles: 4.
Estimated pain: tugging sensation.
Actual pain: came out easy with a whoosh. Virtually no pain.
Now Jamie is at home, her face full of freezing, applying lip balm to help her lips from chafing after drooling non-stop. >_< (I am such an ass...)
Overall, I'm glad she had her first 'adult' tooth pulling experience done so well. She had one as a kid, but those are different.

Good big brother things I did today for Jamie:
Immediately take her to 7-11 after work (at her request, in my truck, even though it's only two blocks away) so she could binge before the dentist told her not to eat anything.
Comforted and consoled her about the procedure.
Let her (and Steph) beat me with a pillow. ^_^
Killed a bee for her. What a wuss!!! (Didn't I have a phobia AND death-like allergy to them at one time in my life?...)
Be ever-ready to lend her support and strength whenever she needs it. As a friend, as a brother, and as a man.

Recently this week I've picked her up after she grew upset with a little tiff with her father.
Talked about many issues in her life that are causing her stress.
Gave her a gentle pat on the back when she was crying this week, and listened to her vent out her feelings.
Discussed and encouraged her on her future and soon-to-be-reality goals and ambitions. I also shared some of my future goals, which I'm glad that I'm actually forming, and for once feeling confident and certain enough that my dreams can and will be fulfilled. Career wise.
Let her hook me into the cosplay scene, filling my head with a few characters that I could actually pull off.

Right now she went to bed a little early, while the freezing is still in place. I'm sure she won't ache much tomorrow...
Nope. She's awake now. I can hear her upbeat chatter upstairs. Richard came over for a visit, and I just finished watching a movie called 'Fools Gold', which turned out better than I expected.
I gave just mum a shoulder rub, and am now unwinding slowly, sipping on a beer before I go to bed. Tomorrow, I have to clean up bird waste and dead things tomorrow at work. I'm the only guy at work with the patience and stomache for it. Let me share a secret: in the summertime, with the heat, gas masks don't stop the smell from getting through... Dead pigeons smell like burnt, rotten socks, bloated from the sun... >_>

I tried messaging Harding on MSN, but I guess he's not answering. Something set him off, and last weekend, well, he wasn't acting like himself.
Beyond my jealousness that Jamie hangs out with him, and the ease in which he can make her laugh and have a good time, I don't have any quarrel with him. I think he's alright, even though we've drifted apart in interests: he's still fun to talk to and hang out with.
I think he's mad at me though, since he knows how I go on and on about how much I love Jamie. He knows that I know that I could never have her, especially if Kim got hooked up with Laurie. The fact that Jamie doesn't want a relationship with anyone either doesn't help in that area at all either. But still, it's like how I'm still jealous of Shawn: even though she doesn't want him as a boyfriend, she still goes out alone with him on 'dates' and good times, and I get super jealous. I think that's possibly why he's upset.
Jamie told me that when she last went out with him, he was distant and aloof. Well, not in those words, but that's how I understand it. They went shopping for stuff for Jamies future place, and to her, he seemed upset, possibly almost angry.
Whatever made him upset, be it me, or something else, I hope he feels better. Even though we're not as close as we once were, he's still a little part of my crazy life, and it seems that his part is slightly out of place. Cheer up Shawn! ^_^

So.
Should I spend $10000 each year for two years of College, meaning a total of $20000, to be a professional Massage Therapist, with intricate knowledge and theory of ancient masseuse techniques and literature revolving around massages?
Or, should I spend a mere $3000 on a skeleton course that still gives me a ticket stating that I qualify as a professional Massage Therapist, that is ackknowledged and accepted in 90% of Alberta Massage Clinics?
O_o
I'm not stupid.
Did I mention the skeleton course is only a total of 16 Fridays, 16 Saturdays, and 5 Sundays? Lasts from August to about Christmas time, has a lot of hands on experience, a friendly course and attitude, lots of hands on homework, and is reachable by me in a half-dead truck?
Booyah, I think I'm gonna try and get in this year.

Hmmm. Jamies costume I had to order for her won't be here until the 15th-ish of next month. Plenty of time for her animethon, but still...
See, if she just ordered cosplay wigs, it would have been here on time. However, the costumes from the site are not pre-made and stored in a warehouse. They are custom manufactured per order. So, it's being made in China right now. Hence the extra week or two of delay.
I just hope to god they didn't ruin anything by making the size she ordered wonky... >_>

God, someone help me...
I just hope that whoever it is that I find in life that is special enough to replace Jamie loves me back with as much intensity as I feel every day.
When unconditional love is conditional: it's only okay when it follows the laws some dead guy wrote years and years ago. Hell, that makes me the greatest sinner of all: breaking the laws of Man. ~_~
I just want everyone to know, that even if Jamie was flesh and blood related to me, even if by law I had to call her sister, even if she was related as a 3rd generation cousin or whatever, I would willingly break any taboo in place to be with her, if she had the same feelings for me in place.
As far as I know it right now, so far she isn't legally a sister at all, just emotionally. We've known each other for years, and sadly, for much of her life, I largely ignored her. It wasn't until she grew past her 'goth' stage and emerged as the woman that she is now that I started having feelings for her. Well, it's nearly three long years now, and growing.
I feel bad because my friends, like Harding and Hale, have both long had feelings for her, before I even noticed her. They got to know more of her than I ever will know, were fortunate to share so many moments and memories that I will never hear of, and were able to see far more sides to her personality than I could ever dream of. As Harding had put it, I haven't been in this 'war' as long as he has. Our 'rivalry' continues in this regards: my friend, my luckier half.
Still, I dream that merhaps one day, she will notice me a little, just enough... Just enough to make my heart skip, and my imagination soar...

[Sigh...] Good night! ^_^