I did alright at my interview for 7-11. Not gre-eat, but I did alright.
My security check will take from as little as 24 hours up to a week to process. After that I'm basically gauranteed a job.
The 7-11 location I'll be working at is in one of the shittiest locations in Fort Saskatchewan. It's always busy, there's a million drunk teens in there all the time, and they're severely understaffed.
Good thing I applied there.
Maybe it's just me, but everyone thinks I'm crazy for applying for this job. Maybe I am. But I'm a Zorn gosh-darn-it! And stubborn like a mule once my mind is set.
I need a totally new outlook on work. Embracing a work style like customer servive might actually suit me. I already know that I'll be super-stressed at times, especially when certain customers enjoy being ornery and bad-assed. But there's one thing I know about myself: I can be a socially viciuos animal myself.
I'm a natural psychologist: I've been analysing people ever since the first day I was beat up at school. I know all about motivations, fears, mis-direction, etc. etc.. If anyone can look into the face of a scary customer and fuck with THEIR mind instead, it's me.
I'm looking forward to this job. I probably won't make a lot at the start, but over time I'm sure I'll impress the employees with my consistent reliability and hard work. Plus, since I'm always searching for better things, I can always drop this job and move on. I'll do my best as long as I'm working there, and when it's time to leave, I'll leave with grace and dignity. I try to never burn bridges: it's bad karma and socially wrong.
So anyways, I'll be making money again very soon. Things can only improve, and I'm looking forward to it.
Later peeps. O_x
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Interview!!!
Tomorrow morning, at 10:30 am, I have an interview. Finally!
It isn't the security company yet, no. It's not a glamourous job, but it fits some of my criteria for a job I'm willing to do.
It's not mechanical, industrial, involving chemicals or asbestos, nor is it labour.
I have an interview to work at a 7-11 location in Fort Saskatchewan.
Don't laugh. It's not the greatest job in the world, and I know this. But it IS a brain-dead job, that will let me work indoors, and won't end up with me getting killed by physical hazards.
I'll be in one of the busiest locations in the Fort. The onslaught of summer consumers will be traumatizing. But once the summer is over, things will slow down and return to an average pace.
Plus it's only my first interview. If something better comes along, I can always drop this and move upward again. I just need a place to work and make a few bucks until such an opportunity comes my way.
Be proud peoples. I'll be a working man once again, a useful contributor to mankinds society.
I just need to get a haircut today, and then I'll be set.
Later peeps. O_x
It isn't the security company yet, no. It's not a glamourous job, but it fits some of my criteria for a job I'm willing to do.
It's not mechanical, industrial, involving chemicals or asbestos, nor is it labour.
I have an interview to work at a 7-11 location in Fort Saskatchewan.
Don't laugh. It's not the greatest job in the world, and I know this. But it IS a brain-dead job, that will let me work indoors, and won't end up with me getting killed by physical hazards.
I'll be in one of the busiest locations in the Fort. The onslaught of summer consumers will be traumatizing. But once the summer is over, things will slow down and return to an average pace.
Plus it's only my first interview. If something better comes along, I can always drop this and move upward again. I just need a place to work and make a few bucks until such an opportunity comes my way.
Be proud peoples. I'll be a working man once again, a useful contributor to mankinds society.
I just need to get a haircut today, and then I'll be set.
Later peeps. O_x
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Phew...
When I was a heavy-duty worker, working and slaving away for seven years straight (seven and a half to be exact), I made a lot of money. Sure, I was killing myself, destroying my mind and body to do things I loathed with soul and body, but I made a lot of money.
I put a huge load of effort into saving away for a near-future, one where I could be carefree and calm and relaxed, never having to be bothered with such intense drudgery again. Oh, I intended to keep working, but only as a hobby and not a priority.
I have an RRSP account. I've been saving away money for quitye some time now. It generates money slowly at first, but the earnings add to the total, creating a 'snowball effect', so that one day, all of my saved earnings and all the saved interest with compound and grow and compound again into a huge profit gain.
I pay $120.oo a month into my RRSP. That never seemed like a huge amount when I was working, no. That $120.oo was NOTHING compared to what I earned.
My earnings were so great, that I randomly quit my job and lived off no income for over two months, rent completely overpaid, and I had money to spend after.
Now, since I'm well between jobs now, my money has started to dwindle. I'm not known to save money; I only have money saved because I have few expenditures and no habits.
Since my coffers are almost bare, that $120.oo deduction from my account every month has grown into a huge amount for me. This has been gnawing at me since right before I left for my B.C. vacation.
Today, I solved the problem (hence the blogs title).
RRSP's can be temporarily halted. I told my bank my situation, and that I'm in between jobs right now. There was no arguing, reprimands, extra costs, taxing, punishment, or anything negative at all. No! My bank knows very well how dedicated I am to them, and they'll easily and happily rehook my RRSP to active status as soon as I have a steady income again. Phew!
Also, tomorrow my buddy is coming to take my old blue Oldesmobile Calais away. About time...
Also also... Today I went to a movie theatre (you lie!) with my momma. We saw Pirates of the Carribean 3 today. Super freaky cool movie!
Anyways, I gotta run. Jamie got home, and I was SUPPOSED to take her to McDonalds at 9pm. The movie ended at 10:45, so umm, yeah...
Later peeps! O_x
I put a huge load of effort into saving away for a near-future, one where I could be carefree and calm and relaxed, never having to be bothered with such intense drudgery again. Oh, I intended to keep working, but only as a hobby and not a priority.
I have an RRSP account. I've been saving away money for quitye some time now. It generates money slowly at first, but the earnings add to the total, creating a 'snowball effect', so that one day, all of my saved earnings and all the saved interest with compound and grow and compound again into a huge profit gain.
I pay $120.oo a month into my RRSP. That never seemed like a huge amount when I was working, no. That $120.oo was NOTHING compared to what I earned.
My earnings were so great, that I randomly quit my job and lived off no income for over two months, rent completely overpaid, and I had money to spend after.
Now, since I'm well between jobs now, my money has started to dwindle. I'm not known to save money; I only have money saved because I have few expenditures and no habits.
Since my coffers are almost bare, that $120.oo deduction from my account every month has grown into a huge amount for me. This has been gnawing at me since right before I left for my B.C. vacation.
Today, I solved the problem (hence the blogs title).
RRSP's can be temporarily halted. I told my bank my situation, and that I'm in between jobs right now. There was no arguing, reprimands, extra costs, taxing, punishment, or anything negative at all. No! My bank knows very well how dedicated I am to them, and they'll easily and happily rehook my RRSP to active status as soon as I have a steady income again. Phew!
Also, tomorrow my buddy is coming to take my old blue Oldesmobile Calais away. About time...
Also also... Today I went to a movie theatre (you lie!) with my momma. We saw Pirates of the Carribean 3 today. Super freaky cool movie!
Anyways, I gotta run. Jamie got home, and I was SUPPOSED to take her to McDonalds at 9pm. The movie ended at 10:45, so umm, yeah...
Later peeps! O_x
Monday, May 28, 2007
From kings to comic books.
Today I recieved my second issue of Xombie Reanimated. It's a comic based on the future after the events of the Xombie flash-animation series on http://www.xombified.com/ .
As always with good comic series, it ends wayyy too soon. Comics get you in the 'action zone', and just as you're starting to feel the thrill of the story, it stops. No warning, the comic just ends with a 'to be continued in the NEXT issue'.
Really cool story, I love the characters, and the new art style is even pretty cool. But the comic ends too fast!
So, I just have to wait another month or two until I get the next issue. The comic lasts maybe 3 minutes, especially with MY speed reading. It's cool though, the comic came with a 'bonus comic', designed to hook readers onto other series. And it worked.
I got a Hack / Slash comic. That's the title; Hack / Slash. It has a Tales From The Crypt feel, combined with VERY graphic and gory art, new-age horror, and an interesting plot line.
I'm still job hunting. Gonna get a hair cut maybe this week. That's right folks, no more long hair for me in the near future. There's some really cool night shift positions opening up all around town. I filled out an application for a Walmart shift, where I would be a shipper/reciever at nights, and also maybe stocking shelves at night too. Easy, basic work, especially since I did it all way back when I worked as a butcher. There's a few more places hiring too, so I'm using the 'shotgun' method to find a job. I'm just spamming the area with my applications, and still waiting for the cut-off date for applicants from my security company. Once they start interviews, I'm confident that I'll be able to land a job with them.
Who knows? Until then, I'll keep my eyes open and my nose to the wind. O_x
As always with good comic series, it ends wayyy too soon. Comics get you in the 'action zone', and just as you're starting to feel the thrill of the story, it stops. No warning, the comic just ends with a 'to be continued in the NEXT issue'.
Really cool story, I love the characters, and the new art style is even pretty cool. But the comic ends too fast!
So, I just have to wait another month or two until I get the next issue. The comic lasts maybe 3 minutes, especially with MY speed reading. It's cool though, the comic came with a 'bonus comic', designed to hook readers onto other series. And it worked.
I got a Hack / Slash comic. That's the title; Hack / Slash. It has a Tales From The Crypt feel, combined with VERY graphic and gory art, new-age horror, and an interesting plot line.
I'm still job hunting. Gonna get a hair cut maybe this week. That's right folks, no more long hair for me in the near future. There's some really cool night shift positions opening up all around town. I filled out an application for a Walmart shift, where I would be a shipper/reciever at nights, and also maybe stocking shelves at night too. Easy, basic work, especially since I did it all way back when I worked as a butcher. There's a few more places hiring too, so I'm using the 'shotgun' method to find a job. I'm just spamming the area with my applications, and still waiting for the cut-off date for applicants from my security company. Once they start interviews, I'm confident that I'll be able to land a job with them.
Who knows? Until then, I'll keep my eyes open and my nose to the wind. O_x
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Spring cleaning?...
Would you believe it took 7 (seven) hours to clean my room today?
I do.
I re-arranged my bookshelves, so my sturdier ones were in a spot so I could safely display my antiques and figurines. I make it so my little Ushabti's can watch what i see on the computer. (They must get dreadfully bored just standing there all day...)
I went through all of my old files, looking for redundant papers that I could chuck.
I sifted and sorted through contless stacks of scratched CD's, game boxes, papers, notes, etc., and tossed them all out.
I folded ALL of my clothes, cleaned out my build-a-dresser so there was room, and PUT THEM ALL AWAY. Yeah, in the right places too.
I fished under my bed, desks, cabinets, shelves, drawers, cushions, nooks, crannies, and other areas, and dragged everything I touched out into the open.
I cleaned my desk. Now THAT'S scary...
I emptied a half-dozen tool boxes, chucked them out, and organized all my loose tools into my big mechanics tool chest.
I organized my books on my shelves. And I have a LOT of books...
Re-stacked, re-shelved, re-boxed, re-worked, and re-covered (lol) my room.
Eight (8) bags, the big black garbage bags, FULL. Full of old papers, slurpee cups, wrappers, ripped clothes, boxes, CD's, torn bags, empty cat-food tins, broken tools, SCRAP METAL (it was in my big tool chest), my broken Soft-Air guns, sticks, rocks, bottles (yeah, I didn't recycle...), an old backpack, smelly old work clothes, and a god-awful broken remote controlled truck that I never ever played with. Plus a table-top fountain, a table-top fish tank, a dead bee (or two), a belt sheath for a folding pocket knife (what a useless idea THAT was, a belt sheath for a POCKET KNIFE), an old radio holster, what used to be a shoe, and even more candy wrappers, chip bags, empty cups (coffee ones this time), and a rusty lock.
Phew.
Actually going through all of my books and files, and reading and deciding on what to keep was hard. I was keeping reciepts for rent, my monthly healthcare statements, useless papers like that. Organizing the dozens of dozens of roleplaying books of mine was hard too. Hard-covers with hard-covers, softies with softies, game with game, etc..
All this to find one thing.
The one and only piece of paper that has the absolutely exact starting AND quitting dates of all my last five jobs.
I found it.
Now, whenever I get an interview for my new job, I'll be able to say exactly how long I stayed with certain people, and when I quit and started.
For those who have never seen my room, picture this: Think of roughly an eight by eight foot cell, in a basement. The 'cell' is only defined as a separate room from the laundry room by my big hulking mass of a mechanics toolchest, serving as a room divider and wall. I have my computer desk flanked by a futon, which when folded up is the largest bed I'm able to cram in here to sleep on. The bed itself is wedged against the wall in a pocket formed from between my desk and a mountain of stackable plastic clothes drawers bought from Wal-Mart. These sit on an old coffee table, keeping the shelves off the concrete floor that once experienced a basement flood. Nestled at the foot of my bed, where the table and shelves are, is also a barstool I had bought from fancy a long time ago. It holds a stack of folded blankets that I only use in winter. Beside my stack of 'shelves' is a stack of tupperware bins. These bins hold extensive and valuable collections of trading cards and role-playing ooks that I don't have room to display. They also store old uniforms and clothes with sentimental value, along with photographs and a coin collection. My coffee table with it's many stacks of boxes and drawers fits right in with the three bookshelves that line the outside basement wall. They're all about the same height, reaching up to my basement roof. Right now my antique Porky the Pig cookie jar is staring at me with big cartoony eyes. Wedged on top of my bookshelves is my pellets rifle (in it's gun case of course) and a few freshly organized cardboard boxes full of train set parts and important paper files. The bookshelves actually go past my rooms boundaries, making what I call 'the sprawl', and bordering the mound of dirty clothes in the laundry room. I sit in the center of this organized hell. I sit in a 'ring', the desk and basement divider wall in front of me, bed and wall to the right, a wall and my bookshelves behind me, and just my mechanics toolchest to my left, leaving just a narrow walkway for me to leave and enter my room. It feels like I'm in a fancy cockpit, and all I have to do is literally turn my chair, and I can grab things off of my shelves behind me.
Heh, I'm not complaining. I don't LIVE in my room, I just sleep here. This is one of the reasons I like to go hiking nearly every day. It's a chance for me to S-T-R-E-T-C-H a little.
Well, I'm worn out. Now that I have this paper with all of my previous job dates on it, I can go to bed relaxed and pick up on my job hunting again tomorrow. If I'm REALLY desperate for cash, I am gauranteed a job where I get paid daily. I'll just go to Pro-Temp, a rent-a-labourer place where you go there as a dumb schmuck and they tell you to go to a job site and shovel dirt. Demeaning manual work for minimum wage, but hey. It's a daily paycheque. A last desperate option, one I may have to do a few times until I find a lasting job. No biggies.
That's it for this post. Later peeps!
I do.
I re-arranged my bookshelves, so my sturdier ones were in a spot so I could safely display my antiques and figurines. I make it so my little Ushabti's can watch what i see on the computer. (They must get dreadfully bored just standing there all day...)
I went through all of my old files, looking for redundant papers that I could chuck.
I sifted and sorted through contless stacks of scratched CD's, game boxes, papers, notes, etc., and tossed them all out.
I folded ALL of my clothes, cleaned out my build-a-dresser so there was room, and PUT THEM ALL AWAY. Yeah, in the right places too.
I fished under my bed, desks, cabinets, shelves, drawers, cushions, nooks, crannies, and other areas, and dragged everything I touched out into the open.
I cleaned my desk. Now THAT'S scary...
I emptied a half-dozen tool boxes, chucked them out, and organized all my loose tools into my big mechanics tool chest.
I organized my books on my shelves. And I have a LOT of books...
Re-stacked, re-shelved, re-boxed, re-worked, and re-covered (lol) my room.
Eight (8) bags, the big black garbage bags, FULL. Full of old papers, slurpee cups, wrappers, ripped clothes, boxes, CD's, torn bags, empty cat-food tins, broken tools, SCRAP METAL (it was in my big tool chest), my broken Soft-Air guns, sticks, rocks, bottles (yeah, I didn't recycle...), an old backpack, smelly old work clothes, and a god-awful broken remote controlled truck that I never ever played with. Plus a table-top fountain, a table-top fish tank, a dead bee (or two), a belt sheath for a folding pocket knife (what a useless idea THAT was, a belt sheath for a POCKET KNIFE), an old radio holster, what used to be a shoe, and even more candy wrappers, chip bags, empty cups (coffee ones this time), and a rusty lock.
Phew.
Actually going through all of my books and files, and reading and deciding on what to keep was hard. I was keeping reciepts for rent, my monthly healthcare statements, useless papers like that. Organizing the dozens of dozens of roleplaying books of mine was hard too. Hard-covers with hard-covers, softies with softies, game with game, etc..
All this to find one thing.
The one and only piece of paper that has the absolutely exact starting AND quitting dates of all my last five jobs.
I found it.
Now, whenever I get an interview for my new job, I'll be able to say exactly how long I stayed with certain people, and when I quit and started.
For those who have never seen my room, picture this: Think of roughly an eight by eight foot cell, in a basement. The 'cell' is only defined as a separate room from the laundry room by my big hulking mass of a mechanics toolchest, serving as a room divider and wall. I have my computer desk flanked by a futon, which when folded up is the largest bed I'm able to cram in here to sleep on. The bed itself is wedged against the wall in a pocket formed from between my desk and a mountain of stackable plastic clothes drawers bought from Wal-Mart. These sit on an old coffee table, keeping the shelves off the concrete floor that once experienced a basement flood. Nestled at the foot of my bed, where the table and shelves are, is also a barstool I had bought from fancy a long time ago. It holds a stack of folded blankets that I only use in winter. Beside my stack of 'shelves' is a stack of tupperware bins. These bins hold extensive and valuable collections of trading cards and role-playing ooks that I don't have room to display. They also store old uniforms and clothes with sentimental value, along with photographs and a coin collection. My coffee table with it's many stacks of boxes and drawers fits right in with the three bookshelves that line the outside basement wall. They're all about the same height, reaching up to my basement roof. Right now my antique Porky the Pig cookie jar is staring at me with big cartoony eyes. Wedged on top of my bookshelves is my pellets rifle (in it's gun case of course) and a few freshly organized cardboard boxes full of train set parts and important paper files. The bookshelves actually go past my rooms boundaries, making what I call 'the sprawl', and bordering the mound of dirty clothes in the laundry room. I sit in the center of this organized hell. I sit in a 'ring', the desk and basement divider wall in front of me, bed and wall to the right, a wall and my bookshelves behind me, and just my mechanics toolchest to my left, leaving just a narrow walkway for me to leave and enter my room. It feels like I'm in a fancy cockpit, and all I have to do is literally turn my chair, and I can grab things off of my shelves behind me.
Heh, I'm not complaining. I don't LIVE in my room, I just sleep here. This is one of the reasons I like to go hiking nearly every day. It's a chance for me to S-T-R-E-T-C-H a little.
Well, I'm worn out. Now that I have this paper with all of my previous job dates on it, I can go to bed relaxed and pick up on my job hunting again tomorrow. If I'm REALLY desperate for cash, I am gauranteed a job where I get paid daily. I'll just go to Pro-Temp, a rent-a-labourer place where you go there as a dumb schmuck and they tell you to go to a job site and shovel dirt. Demeaning manual work for minimum wage, but hey. It's a daily paycheque. A last desperate option, one I may have to do a few times until I find a lasting job. No biggies.
That's it for this post. Later peeps!
Friday, May 25, 2007
Random awesome super-freakin' cool game!
Warbears.
Remember what it's called, because it'll blow you puzzle freaks away.
http://www.warbears.com/?in <- This is the link my friends, to the main page.
You'll be able to make an avatar and walk around a Runescape-ish world in Bedtime City, the world of Warbears.
There's missions to be done. Only two so far, each mission being a flash game. You control a team of up to four bears, who must work together to overcome many obstacles and complete their mission.
This game is a fiendish logic game, where consequences are very real and are a must to consider. Take your time, bend your mind, and experiment. A lot. It consumed my morning, this game, and I only managed to beat both missions with a ranking of C.
I just love freaky puzzle/action games. Hope you enjoy this game.
P.S. My Bedtime City avatars' name is Autumnbear. Did you expect it to be aything else? O_x
Remember what it's called, because it'll blow you puzzle freaks away.
http://www.warbears.com/?in <- This is the link my friends, to the main page.
You'll be able to make an avatar and walk around a Runescape-ish world in Bedtime City, the world of Warbears.
There's missions to be done. Only two so far, each mission being a flash game. You control a team of up to four bears, who must work together to overcome many obstacles and complete their mission.
This game is a fiendish logic game, where consequences are very real and are a must to consider. Take your time, bend your mind, and experiment. A lot. It consumed my morning, this game, and I only managed to beat both missions with a ranking of C.
I just love freaky puzzle/action games. Hope you enjoy this game.
P.S. My Bedtime City avatars' name is Autumnbear. Did you expect it to be aything else? O_x
Thursday, May 24, 2007
The job hunt begins...
First day of job hunting. Career hunting, actually...
I submitted a resume to a security company here in the Fort. I'm not sure what they're gaurding, but they need night shift workers. Seeing as how their ad stated that they would be willing to train new recruits, and pay you as you recieve on the job training, I figured I'll give it a shot.
I've always wondered what a job as a professional security gaurd would be like. I lacked the funds to get professional training at Hilltop Security Academy, although I did contact those peoples before in the past. Get paid to learn while you work. A win-win situation.
I submitting my application this morning, and already recieved an e-mail back from the company. I'm told my application is on file and will be considered soon in the nearby future.
Seeing as how hard it is for people to hire help, and hire someone willing to work nights, I'm sure they'll strongly consider me. I wasn't negative in my application, and I listed what skills I have from my last jobs and how those skills can apply to security.
Even if I'm only hired on as part-time help, I'll be getting hands-on training with these guys. I guess this means it's time for a hair cut and a shave. :)
I'll keep my eye open for other career opportunities too. I'm not looking for labourer jobs, construction, mechanics, oil, heavy industry, or cleaning. I want a nice, clean job where I'm needed for a wide variety of tasks. Not purely mental or physical, not very demanding, tedious perhaps, but work that I can be proud doing.
I'm a little happier now that I have this e-mail confirmation. Who knows? I could be a great security gaurd, as long as I don't have to work with gaurd dogs! XD
I submitted a resume to a security company here in the Fort. I'm not sure what they're gaurding, but they need night shift workers. Seeing as how their ad stated that they would be willing to train new recruits, and pay you as you recieve on the job training, I figured I'll give it a shot.
I've always wondered what a job as a professional security gaurd would be like. I lacked the funds to get professional training at Hilltop Security Academy, although I did contact those peoples before in the past. Get paid to learn while you work. A win-win situation.
I submitting my application this morning, and already recieved an e-mail back from the company. I'm told my application is on file and will be considered soon in the nearby future.
Seeing as how hard it is for people to hire help, and hire someone willing to work nights, I'm sure they'll strongly consider me. I wasn't negative in my application, and I listed what skills I have from my last jobs and how those skills can apply to security.
Even if I'm only hired on as part-time help, I'll be getting hands-on training with these guys. I guess this means it's time for a hair cut and a shave. :)
I'll keep my eye open for other career opportunities too. I'm not looking for labourer jobs, construction, mechanics, oil, heavy industry, or cleaning. I want a nice, clean job where I'm needed for a wide variety of tasks. Not purely mental or physical, not very demanding, tedious perhaps, but work that I can be proud doing.
I'm a little happier now that I have this e-mail confirmation. Who knows? I could be a great security gaurd, as long as I don't have to work with gaurd dogs! XD
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
To all of my blog readers...
Feel free to reply to my comments as I post them. This is not a private blog, it's for the public to see. Additionally, if you have a Blogger account, and you would like me to have access to your blogs so I can read them too, feel free to reply to this post with a comment containing your Blogger web link in it.
What a bunch of morons...
My country's stupid government workers. I tell ya...
Over two months ago I filed for my unemployment insurance. Even knowing that it would be like pulling teeth, I filed anyways for it. I had quit my apprenticeship for a multitude of reasons, some of it personal and some of it work-site related.
Living with the ex-wife of the shop foreman who just happens to be one of the world's largest assholes caused problems at work. Being picked up every morning by this guy and getting a ride to work with him 3 hours before my shift started was problematic. Working in a grungy two-bay garage with nothing but swamp and mud outside was problematic. Maintaining a dying fleet of dead units, rusted-out equipment, and broken tools was problematic. Having the foreman moan and bitch daily about his ex-wife drove me insane.
I put up with this apprenticeship, trying to care about mechanics when truthfully in my heart I hate everything to do with mechanics. I hate the millions of parts and styles, the millions of vehicles and styles, the multitude of variations that pose limitless problems in this field. I see a broken engine not as an interesting challenge to fix, but rather a very large mess that nobody really appreciates if you fix it or not. It's just a big, nasty old chore that has to be done, and it's hard to feel pride in your work when you know the next two-bit operator is just going to wreck it in two days or less. Nobody cares about your efforts, it's far too complicated, and it's greasy, yucky, frustratiing, time-consuming, and unsatisfying work.
I started my apprenticeship only because the foreman was looking for someone with strong work values and an open mind. I do possess these qualities, but like I said, when it comes to mechanics I find it to be a frustrating bore of a job. I put up with this bull-plop for nealy a year, and I 'faked' it well. I can do mechanics just fine, but since I lack the love and interest of the trade, I'll never be great at it. Good enough to do it just doesn't cut. I willingly quit my apprenticeship. In fact, nobody saw it coming, my desire to quit. That's how good I 'faked' it.
I registered for unemployment because I was planning on being unemployed for a while. I gave a long list of reasons why I quit to the government, and did all my forms and files and requests that I needed to do.
This morning I got a call. 'Do you still want your unemployment?' they ask. 'We find that these reasons are not really that good enough to warrant giving you the money you already earned and have deducted off your paychecks just for unemployment insurance. You don't deserve the money you already made, unless you can state some facts about your workplace that made you want to quit, such as safety infractions, worker abuse, or health reasons'.
Fucking assholes...
So I wait for over two months for a reply from them, and here's what I get. 'Do you still want your unemployment? If so, you need to come up with factual slander against your last place of employment'.
As much as I hated working for my room-mates' ex-husband, as much as I hated the work, as much as I hated being picked up 3 hours each day before my shift started, as much as I hated working 6 days a week, each day with overtime, I do not hate most of the people I worked with.
Many of the guys in that business were great people, with super personalities. I was never endangered, nor was I abused with reportable abuse. I was aggravated and annoyed non-stop by the endless bitching about an old divorce, yes, but not abused.
Fuck them, fuck our government. A bunch of useless, lazy pigs is all they are. I told that snarky government worker that I didn't want my unemployment after all. In fact, I told her I was starting a job this week. A little white lie, of course, but god damn! Anything to shut them up and leave me alone!
Now I'm off the unemployment insurance claim list, the government feels more powerful now, and I don't ever have to expect a phone call from them ever again. Thank god.
Shee-eesh. I've posted nothing but rants for the last few posts. I'm sick and tired of people messing aroun with my life. Can't they see that I've had enough? I just want a nice simple job, and a nice simple life for once. No more obligations to 'perform' for others, no more obligations to toil for others, no more, no more, no more. I just want to work for me, myself, and I for once. That's it.
I don't want to work in heavy industry, no more chemicals, no more oil and grease, no machines... I don't want to be a stupid labourer, or a garbage picker, or a cleaner. I want to create something that people appreciate. I want to spend time on something I care about. I want to be interested in my work, and want to learn more about it. What job out there possesses such traits? I may never know. So off I go again, to dabble in the unknown and discover my likes and dislikes.
Al I know right now is that I need money right away, and fast. A simple 500 dollar paycheck would make me happy right now. That's it. That's all I need to keep my bills and rent paid up.
I haven't calmed down from 7 straight years of non-stop work. I haven't relaxed enough yet. My mere two months off after a lifetime of hard work isn't enough.
I'll be trying to get a part-time job rather than a full-time one. I'll make a deal with the boss. I'll say for the summer I just want to ork part-time, and when all the kids go back to school let me work full-time. A part-time job would be perfect for me. I work whenever they need me to, I have plenty of time off, I'm still making money, and I'm developing ties that will snap into a permanant bond when the time is right for full-time employment. I'm not a stupid man; already I'm plotting a course that will ease me back, slowly, into a full-time work regime. Part-time work in the summer could also maybe give me an opportunity to take a week off in August so I can return to B.C. to visit my family again. The trick is making myself look useful as a part-time worker. I'm very good with my tricks.
W/E. The government sucks, and I'm not getting my unemployment money. I can't believe they even bothered to call me...
Later peeps.
Over two months ago I filed for my unemployment insurance. Even knowing that it would be like pulling teeth, I filed anyways for it. I had quit my apprenticeship for a multitude of reasons, some of it personal and some of it work-site related.
Living with the ex-wife of the shop foreman who just happens to be one of the world's largest assholes caused problems at work. Being picked up every morning by this guy and getting a ride to work with him 3 hours before my shift started was problematic. Working in a grungy two-bay garage with nothing but swamp and mud outside was problematic. Maintaining a dying fleet of dead units, rusted-out equipment, and broken tools was problematic. Having the foreman moan and bitch daily about his ex-wife drove me insane.
I put up with this apprenticeship, trying to care about mechanics when truthfully in my heart I hate everything to do with mechanics. I hate the millions of parts and styles, the millions of vehicles and styles, the multitude of variations that pose limitless problems in this field. I see a broken engine not as an interesting challenge to fix, but rather a very large mess that nobody really appreciates if you fix it or not. It's just a big, nasty old chore that has to be done, and it's hard to feel pride in your work when you know the next two-bit operator is just going to wreck it in two days or less. Nobody cares about your efforts, it's far too complicated, and it's greasy, yucky, frustratiing, time-consuming, and unsatisfying work.
I started my apprenticeship only because the foreman was looking for someone with strong work values and an open mind. I do possess these qualities, but like I said, when it comes to mechanics I find it to be a frustrating bore of a job. I put up with this bull-plop for nealy a year, and I 'faked' it well. I can do mechanics just fine, but since I lack the love and interest of the trade, I'll never be great at it. Good enough to do it just doesn't cut. I willingly quit my apprenticeship. In fact, nobody saw it coming, my desire to quit. That's how good I 'faked' it.
I registered for unemployment because I was planning on being unemployed for a while. I gave a long list of reasons why I quit to the government, and did all my forms and files and requests that I needed to do.
This morning I got a call. 'Do you still want your unemployment?' they ask. 'We find that these reasons are not really that good enough to warrant giving you the money you already earned and have deducted off your paychecks just for unemployment insurance. You don't deserve the money you already made, unless you can state some facts about your workplace that made you want to quit, such as safety infractions, worker abuse, or health reasons'.
Fucking assholes...
So I wait for over two months for a reply from them, and here's what I get. 'Do you still want your unemployment? If so, you need to come up with factual slander against your last place of employment'.
As much as I hated working for my room-mates' ex-husband, as much as I hated the work, as much as I hated being picked up 3 hours each day before my shift started, as much as I hated working 6 days a week, each day with overtime, I do not hate most of the people I worked with.
Many of the guys in that business were great people, with super personalities. I was never endangered, nor was I abused with reportable abuse. I was aggravated and annoyed non-stop by the endless bitching about an old divorce, yes, but not abused.
Fuck them, fuck our government. A bunch of useless, lazy pigs is all they are. I told that snarky government worker that I didn't want my unemployment after all. In fact, I told her I was starting a job this week. A little white lie, of course, but god damn! Anything to shut them up and leave me alone!
Now I'm off the unemployment insurance claim list, the government feels more powerful now, and I don't ever have to expect a phone call from them ever again. Thank god.
Shee-eesh. I've posted nothing but rants for the last few posts. I'm sick and tired of people messing aroun with my life. Can't they see that I've had enough? I just want a nice simple job, and a nice simple life for once. No more obligations to 'perform' for others, no more obligations to toil for others, no more, no more, no more. I just want to work for me, myself, and I for once. That's it.
I don't want to work in heavy industry, no more chemicals, no more oil and grease, no machines... I don't want to be a stupid labourer, or a garbage picker, or a cleaner. I want to create something that people appreciate. I want to spend time on something I care about. I want to be interested in my work, and want to learn more about it. What job out there possesses such traits? I may never know. So off I go again, to dabble in the unknown and discover my likes and dislikes.
Al I know right now is that I need money right away, and fast. A simple 500 dollar paycheck would make me happy right now. That's it. That's all I need to keep my bills and rent paid up.
I haven't calmed down from 7 straight years of non-stop work. I haven't relaxed enough yet. My mere two months off after a lifetime of hard work isn't enough.
I'll be trying to get a part-time job rather than a full-time one. I'll make a deal with the boss. I'll say for the summer I just want to ork part-time, and when all the kids go back to school let me work full-time. A part-time job would be perfect for me. I work whenever they need me to, I have plenty of time off, I'm still making money, and I'm developing ties that will snap into a permanant bond when the time is right for full-time employment. I'm not a stupid man; already I'm plotting a course that will ease me back, slowly, into a full-time work regime. Part-time work in the summer could also maybe give me an opportunity to take a week off in August so I can return to B.C. to visit my family again. The trick is making myself look useful as a part-time worker. I'm very good with my tricks.
W/E. The government sucks, and I'm not getting my unemployment money. I can't believe they even bothered to call me...
Later peeps.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
The moon is pretty tonight...
It's the first quarter, two days before the first quarter crescent. The moon is waxing, growing, not quite at the quarter mark.
I was born on the dying moon, the waning moon, under the last crescent. exactly 2 days after the last quarter to be precise.
Using an Ephemeris, anyone can calculate the moon-stage they were born under. Some methods are more precise, but generally they're all the same.
What's the point of knowing what moon you're born under? Why, some shamans or druids can divine what role in life you must follow by observing such primitive astrological observations.
I'm born under the crescent moon. Automatically that gives me a path related to that of a shaman. The cold sliver of the moons watchful eye represents the curious peek into the unknown. It's the narrow crack of light that illuminates the unknown. The crescent moon is the path of a mystic.
Now, I was born under the dying moon. The waning moon. That means such power is not natural or easy for me to use. In fact, it suggests that in my life, I must use great effort to shape or bind the spirits to do my bidding. If I was a witch for example, it would mean that my power wouldn't stem naturally from me; instead I'd have to seek and forcefully bind it to me.
Born two days after the last crescent of a dying moon. Only the moon stage matters, but having even more negative connontations to my already auspicious moon sign suggests even more of a dark or hidden path before me.
Now, how does this fit in with my life? First of all, I do not have 'cosmic magical powers'. Instead, I am 'gifted' with high levels of empathy, imagination, and commitment to family and friends.
It would appear with such qualities as these that my role in life is that of a healer, teacher, and advisor. Hence my fondness and fascination with Druids and neo-paganism, wicca, druidry, healing, herbalism, leadership, storytelling, crafting, art, community, tradition, and lore.
My moon sign makes me a healer with a darker path. Although I don't seek out darkness, my path to healing is on an unsteady and uncertain road. My path is mysterious and untraveled. Perhaps I'm the future advisor to a rebel, or I use forbidden methods to heal others, or my tales are full of warnings instead of happiness. Maybe it just means that as a healer myself, I need the most healing of all. Or maybe it means that as I continue to lead and advise my peoples, I myself am the one that needs to be led.
If I had been born under a growing moon, perhaps I would feel 'bubbly' and 'happy', merrily healing and righting the many wrongs in the world with ease. Maybe I could discover the mysteries of life more easily, and use them to benefit mankind as a whole.
But, I was born with a dark twist in my horoscope, and as such I work from the shadows, tending to the wrongs when I'm able, healing what I can, doing the best I can do for people while trying to go unnoticed.
I do delve into forbidden areas in real life. I get urges to seek out knowledge that maybe I shouldn't learn. I peek into the darkest areas of the internet, looking at peoples lives, looking at their problems, using the knowledge to gain better understanding and insight into my own life and my own problems.
I know how it is to be hurt by people. That knowledge gives me the skill to hurt others. Knowing how to hurt others gives me the power to heal others. I would much rather heal a person than hurt them. I would rather heal myself, rather than go unhealed. I know how to hurt myself, now, I must learn how to heal myself. The path of a healer is a hard one...
I feel better after my walk to 7-11. I spent some of the last remaining dollars of mine to buy a coffee and some Spitz. Feeling the cold wind against my face and seeing the moon behind the hazy clouds relaxed me a little. I still feel a great rage inside of me. I feel the cumulation of all of my troubles ebb and flow within me, trying to beat it's way out. I took a deep breath, and shouldered the pain. I will heal myself, and I will create an improvement in my life, very soon. Right now I must wait, helpless, and start slowly. I can deal with the stress, and if I start slow and steady, I can wade through the messes I made in my life and find my path again.
I don't even know why I'm writing about all of this. I do know that it's calming me down, and I feel a lot better at the end of this post than I did at it's start.
I don't regret my mistakes that I made in life. I do however, wish that I could fix many of them. Mistakes are how I learn. I'm a unique person with a very strange and unique outlook on life. I'm kind of a pioneer for people like me, and my bumbling mistakes pave the way for future dark-healers and storytellers.
I was born dying in a dying era, under a dying moon. The umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck, choking me at birth. I was anemic as a child, sick and pale and very weak. Constantly bullied at school, demeaned by step-family and broken in spirit. Afraid to speak, afraid to dream. Shunned for my differences, and never accepted. I indeed walked a dark path, and only my dark thoughts gave company to my lonely self.
As I aged and matured into an adult, only after a lifetime of putting up with the pain and taunts of countless outsiders, did I finally earn the respect of my peers as a patient and noble man. I finally carved a place for myself in the world, and was hailed as a gentle poet and visionary. People finally respected me for being myself, and since then I've been happy. I enjoy my happiness, far more than the constant loneliness I was forced to endure my whole life. Recently, having a piece of my happiness taken away, having my beautiful life threatened and scared by financial and social disturbances... These events have shaken loose a powerful rage that I've held within most of my life. I can write about it now as I've cooled off to an appropriate degree. But just half an hour ago, my entire body was shaking with my wrath. I have suffered enough, and I want it to end. I have tried my best to heal myself, but this time the healing must be done by an outside force.
I think I should just go out for a hike and learn how to scream. Just simply scream, and learn how to release my rage in a safe manner that harms no-one. I was always taught to bottle-up my emotion, and hide my feelings from others. That's terribly unhealthy, and even I know this. It's time for the healer to heal.
Role-playing helped me overcome my stunted social development. Storytelling and my writing helped me discover my hidden dreams and free-thinking again. Socializing taught me how to trust and love others as dynamic and important people. Now it's time for me to find a way to vent. Blogging helps, but I'm not satisfied. Maybe I could be one of those guys who mails comments to the local paper, expressing my opinions on matters at hand. Or maybe I could just walk nude with a sign down the highway chanting slogans and opinions at the world.
Whatever. It's a cold night here in Fort Saskatchewan. Even though the clouds are out and blocking the sky, I can still see the moon.
The moon is pretty tonight... Maybe I'll go howl at it for a while.
I was born on the dying moon, the waning moon, under the last crescent. exactly 2 days after the last quarter to be precise.
Using an Ephemeris, anyone can calculate the moon-stage they were born under. Some methods are more precise, but generally they're all the same.
What's the point of knowing what moon you're born under? Why, some shamans or druids can divine what role in life you must follow by observing such primitive astrological observations.
I'm born under the crescent moon. Automatically that gives me a path related to that of a shaman. The cold sliver of the moons watchful eye represents the curious peek into the unknown. It's the narrow crack of light that illuminates the unknown. The crescent moon is the path of a mystic.
Now, I was born under the dying moon. The waning moon. That means such power is not natural or easy for me to use. In fact, it suggests that in my life, I must use great effort to shape or bind the spirits to do my bidding. If I was a witch for example, it would mean that my power wouldn't stem naturally from me; instead I'd have to seek and forcefully bind it to me.
Born two days after the last crescent of a dying moon. Only the moon stage matters, but having even more negative connontations to my already auspicious moon sign suggests even more of a dark or hidden path before me.
Now, how does this fit in with my life? First of all, I do not have 'cosmic magical powers'. Instead, I am 'gifted' with high levels of empathy, imagination, and commitment to family and friends.
It would appear with such qualities as these that my role in life is that of a healer, teacher, and advisor. Hence my fondness and fascination with Druids and neo-paganism, wicca, druidry, healing, herbalism, leadership, storytelling, crafting, art, community, tradition, and lore.
My moon sign makes me a healer with a darker path. Although I don't seek out darkness, my path to healing is on an unsteady and uncertain road. My path is mysterious and untraveled. Perhaps I'm the future advisor to a rebel, or I use forbidden methods to heal others, or my tales are full of warnings instead of happiness. Maybe it just means that as a healer myself, I need the most healing of all. Or maybe it means that as I continue to lead and advise my peoples, I myself am the one that needs to be led.
If I had been born under a growing moon, perhaps I would feel 'bubbly' and 'happy', merrily healing and righting the many wrongs in the world with ease. Maybe I could discover the mysteries of life more easily, and use them to benefit mankind as a whole.
But, I was born with a dark twist in my horoscope, and as such I work from the shadows, tending to the wrongs when I'm able, healing what I can, doing the best I can do for people while trying to go unnoticed.
I do delve into forbidden areas in real life. I get urges to seek out knowledge that maybe I shouldn't learn. I peek into the darkest areas of the internet, looking at peoples lives, looking at their problems, using the knowledge to gain better understanding and insight into my own life and my own problems.
I know how it is to be hurt by people. That knowledge gives me the skill to hurt others. Knowing how to hurt others gives me the power to heal others. I would much rather heal a person than hurt them. I would rather heal myself, rather than go unhealed. I know how to hurt myself, now, I must learn how to heal myself. The path of a healer is a hard one...
I feel better after my walk to 7-11. I spent some of the last remaining dollars of mine to buy a coffee and some Spitz. Feeling the cold wind against my face and seeing the moon behind the hazy clouds relaxed me a little. I still feel a great rage inside of me. I feel the cumulation of all of my troubles ebb and flow within me, trying to beat it's way out. I took a deep breath, and shouldered the pain. I will heal myself, and I will create an improvement in my life, very soon. Right now I must wait, helpless, and start slowly. I can deal with the stress, and if I start slow and steady, I can wade through the messes I made in my life and find my path again.
I don't even know why I'm writing about all of this. I do know that it's calming me down, and I feel a lot better at the end of this post than I did at it's start.
I don't regret my mistakes that I made in life. I do however, wish that I could fix many of them. Mistakes are how I learn. I'm a unique person with a very strange and unique outlook on life. I'm kind of a pioneer for people like me, and my bumbling mistakes pave the way for future dark-healers and storytellers.
I was born dying in a dying era, under a dying moon. The umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck, choking me at birth. I was anemic as a child, sick and pale and very weak. Constantly bullied at school, demeaned by step-family and broken in spirit. Afraid to speak, afraid to dream. Shunned for my differences, and never accepted. I indeed walked a dark path, and only my dark thoughts gave company to my lonely self.
As I aged and matured into an adult, only after a lifetime of putting up with the pain and taunts of countless outsiders, did I finally earn the respect of my peers as a patient and noble man. I finally carved a place for myself in the world, and was hailed as a gentle poet and visionary. People finally respected me for being myself, and since then I've been happy. I enjoy my happiness, far more than the constant loneliness I was forced to endure my whole life. Recently, having a piece of my happiness taken away, having my beautiful life threatened and scared by financial and social disturbances... These events have shaken loose a powerful rage that I've held within most of my life. I can write about it now as I've cooled off to an appropriate degree. But just half an hour ago, my entire body was shaking with my wrath. I have suffered enough, and I want it to end. I have tried my best to heal myself, but this time the healing must be done by an outside force.
I think I should just go out for a hike and learn how to scream. Just simply scream, and learn how to release my rage in a safe manner that harms no-one. I was always taught to bottle-up my emotion, and hide my feelings from others. That's terribly unhealthy, and even I know this. It's time for the healer to heal.
Role-playing helped me overcome my stunted social development. Storytelling and my writing helped me discover my hidden dreams and free-thinking again. Socializing taught me how to trust and love others as dynamic and important people. Now it's time for me to find a way to vent. Blogging helps, but I'm not satisfied. Maybe I could be one of those guys who mails comments to the local paper, expressing my opinions on matters at hand. Or maybe I could just walk nude with a sign down the highway chanting slogans and opinions at the world.
Whatever. It's a cold night here in Fort Saskatchewan. Even though the clouds are out and blocking the sky, I can still see the moon.
The moon is pretty tonight... Maybe I'll go howl at it for a while.
I'm back in Fort Saskatchewan. Sigh...
I just got home a few hours ago. Boy, I hate the Fort. It's so claustrophobic here.
I checked my bank account, to see how much money I have after the automatic deductions hit me. Yikes! I had only 5 dollars left in it. I deposited my last 100 dollars into the bank, so that should keep the next deductions fed until I get a paycheck (I hope).
I'm a little stressed right now. Being home isn't always the happy place I want it to be. I feel frustrated, trapped, and disappointed right now.
I wanted to watch a ChildrinRSkary flash, but it seems that I'm now blocked to the site. I can't even listen to the podcasts on Crookedsixpence from my computer. It seems that Katy must have had my I.P. address blocked, so I can't access her sites anymore. I'm a little disappointed; all I did was discover her secret blog and reveal it to two people. Shee-eesh. Now I'm blocked, banned, ignored... It's not like I posted porn or viruses on her site, or personally showed up at her door at her home or anything like that. She's going too far. She's denying me from contacting my friends on her site forums, and listening to her podcasts. I E-mailed an apology to her, posted them on the internet for everyone to see, and she just goes on and on and on to punish me. Well, so be it. As much as it annoys me, life goes on, and my life doesn't stop just because I'm being blocked. Still, it adds to a growing list of frustrations of coming home after a long vacation and hoping to relax with some familiar sites.
There's a palpable aura in my town, and it's keeping me from eating my supper. Seriously, I have no hunger what-so-ever. I tried a single bite of food, and it just doesn't appeal to me. I'm just stressed right now.
I have to get a job right away. I think that's what's bugging me the most. I have a long list of automatic deductions for my bank account, and I have no current pool of money to deal with it. One hundred dollars, that won't last long. I need to make enough money to keep my bills happy, and allows me to take the first week of August off so I can go back to B.C. for a week to re-visit my family there.
I have a leak in my trucks fuel tank somewhere that needs to be fixed. I also have to get my lower rad hose fixed, as it's leaking too. My transmission oil was low before I drove home, so I need to find out why it dropped in the first place. Sigh... Problems, problems, problems...
None of my friends are here in town to greet me home, the weather is too crappy to go for a hike, I feel trapped and miserable... World of Warcraft, an online game I play, isn't working... I can't go to two of my favourite sites... What a miserable day.
I loaded all the pictures and videos of my B.C. trip onto my computer. I'm trying to upload my video onto my Google Video account. I got one 99 percent uploaded, then my computer froze.
My guts ache in frustration, I'm shaking in frustration, and I'm just feeling nothing but more frustration. It's like an uncomfortably hot gush of rage spilling from within me with no-where to go. It's 10 pm here and I have nothing to do and no means of turning off my head and body.
I'm gonna maybe go run out for a slurpee from 7-11. Maybe the walk will do me some good, and some ice in my belly will soothe the savage beast within.
Later peeps. I'm hoping my next post is more positive.
P.S. Katy, please stop.
I checked my bank account, to see how much money I have after the automatic deductions hit me. Yikes! I had only 5 dollars left in it. I deposited my last 100 dollars into the bank, so that should keep the next deductions fed until I get a paycheck (I hope).
I'm a little stressed right now. Being home isn't always the happy place I want it to be. I feel frustrated, trapped, and disappointed right now.
I wanted to watch a ChildrinRSkary flash, but it seems that I'm now blocked to the site. I can't even listen to the podcasts on Crookedsixpence from my computer. It seems that Katy must have had my I.P. address blocked, so I can't access her sites anymore. I'm a little disappointed; all I did was discover her secret blog and reveal it to two people. Shee-eesh. Now I'm blocked, banned, ignored... It's not like I posted porn or viruses on her site, or personally showed up at her door at her home or anything like that. She's going too far. She's denying me from contacting my friends on her site forums, and listening to her podcasts. I E-mailed an apology to her, posted them on the internet for everyone to see, and she just goes on and on and on to punish me. Well, so be it. As much as it annoys me, life goes on, and my life doesn't stop just because I'm being blocked. Still, it adds to a growing list of frustrations of coming home after a long vacation and hoping to relax with some familiar sites.
There's a palpable aura in my town, and it's keeping me from eating my supper. Seriously, I have no hunger what-so-ever. I tried a single bite of food, and it just doesn't appeal to me. I'm just stressed right now.
I have to get a job right away. I think that's what's bugging me the most. I have a long list of automatic deductions for my bank account, and I have no current pool of money to deal with it. One hundred dollars, that won't last long. I need to make enough money to keep my bills happy, and allows me to take the first week of August off so I can go back to B.C. for a week to re-visit my family there.
I have a leak in my trucks fuel tank somewhere that needs to be fixed. I also have to get my lower rad hose fixed, as it's leaking too. My transmission oil was low before I drove home, so I need to find out why it dropped in the first place. Sigh... Problems, problems, problems...
None of my friends are here in town to greet me home, the weather is too crappy to go for a hike, I feel trapped and miserable... World of Warcraft, an online game I play, isn't working... I can't go to two of my favourite sites... What a miserable day.
I loaded all the pictures and videos of my B.C. trip onto my computer. I'm trying to upload my video onto my Google Video account. I got one 99 percent uploaded, then my computer froze.
My guts ache in frustration, I'm shaking in frustration, and I'm just feeling nothing but more frustration. It's like an uncomfortably hot gush of rage spilling from within me with no-where to go. It's 10 pm here and I have nothing to do and no means of turning off my head and body.
I'm gonna maybe go run out for a slurpee from 7-11. Maybe the walk will do me some good, and some ice in my belly will soothe the savage beast within.
Later peeps. I'm hoping my next post is more positive.
P.S. Katy, please stop.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Good things come to an end...
Sigh...
I'm writing from Blackfalds, Alberta, my vacation finally at an end. It's not really depressing to be back in flat-land Alberta... No, it's sickening instead.
Last night we had an outdoor supper. The air was warm, the weather was nice. Halfway through the meal we were rained out with sun-showers. It was still sunny though, and it was still warm. I showed my aunt Laura what Absinthe was, even though she was too chicken to sample it. She shared with me a fine red wine. I had my last sit-down with my family, and went to bed.
I was yelled at by my own family. I thought that using their private stores of soap and shampoo in their shower would be rude, but instead they found it almost insulting that I didn't help myself. Wierd people... :)
After having more food and company to keep an army happy, after sleeping in most days and enjoying the scenery, after doing a multitude of activities, it was time to go home to our normal and dreary daily lives. Sigh...
Great uncle Willie gave me a bunch of wollen work socks, bless the man. Laura handed over a few precious family antiques that I'll keep. We took lots of video and pictures for my internet blogs... And I had a holiday for the first time in many many years.
Not bad for a mere $50.oo on my behalf for trip costs, plus a day of hard, honest work.
Half-way through the mountains, on our way back to Alberta, everyone's mood suddenly changed. We became quiet, depressed, almost soul-sick it seems. The other drivers suddenly transformed into asshole Albertans, cutting people off just to get ahead by one measly car-length. It even rained on us as we drove past the forests that were slowly changing into shorter, sicker trees...
Mike, my dad, just HAD to be a brat. He stole from Crown Land several chunks of government shale rock for personal use. Maryanne is his accomplice. I'm the witless witness. :)
It seemed that every bicycle enthusiast in B.C. was on our narrow mountain highway on our way home. We passed close to (if not more) than a hundred cyclists, all spread up and down the highway. All of them were cycling east towards Alberta.
We made a quick pit-stop in Olds I believe. There I saw the neatest home-made camperized van ever. This old man had made a wooden camper for his van. It looked like a gypsy wagon, only on a van. The walls were just stacked slats of thin strips of wood on top of each other. It looked like those blinds on windows that roll up and down, only these wooden slats were solid and wouldn't move. We couldn't take a picture because the camera was buried under pillows at the time.
Alberta was blanketed in snow as we entered, and remained so for quite a ways. It's sickening, to come from sunny paradise and enter our flat-land, snow-covered, short-treed land of rude and ignorant people. After driving northbound on highway 2, the snow just suddenly disappeared, and returned to summer green grass and fields.
Here I am in Blackfalds, like I said. I called my mother at home, telling her I made it just fine, and that I'm coming home soon. The ever-flowing cash reserves in my bank account have finally dwindled after two months of doing nothing, so it's time I find work once again. Oh joy...
Since I can't link videos to Blogger properly, once I'm back home with all of my other files, I'll start posting on my new Vox account. I should have saved my old Vox blog, but it's too late now to recover it. Tomorrow all of the digital video and pictures we took on this trip will be burnt onto a CD for me. From there, I can put it on my computer and then upload it onto my Google Video account, giving me a web-link so I can post my videos for all to see without taking up any monthly storage space on my blogs.
My poor knees... Being cooped up in a back seat with no leg room at all. Make your hearts bleed for me folks, make your hearts bleed for me...
Anyways, I'll be home in Fort Saskatchewan soon enough. Any changes to my other sites will be posted, so you readers can track me down and keep in contact with me.
It's late. Later peeps!
I'm writing from Blackfalds, Alberta, my vacation finally at an end. It's not really depressing to be back in flat-land Alberta... No, it's sickening instead.
Last night we had an outdoor supper. The air was warm, the weather was nice. Halfway through the meal we were rained out with sun-showers. It was still sunny though, and it was still warm. I showed my aunt Laura what Absinthe was, even though she was too chicken to sample it. She shared with me a fine red wine. I had my last sit-down with my family, and went to bed.
I was yelled at by my own family. I thought that using their private stores of soap and shampoo in their shower would be rude, but instead they found it almost insulting that I didn't help myself. Wierd people... :)
After having more food and company to keep an army happy, after sleeping in most days and enjoying the scenery, after doing a multitude of activities, it was time to go home to our normal and dreary daily lives. Sigh...
Great uncle Willie gave me a bunch of wollen work socks, bless the man. Laura handed over a few precious family antiques that I'll keep. We took lots of video and pictures for my internet blogs... And I had a holiday for the first time in many many years.
Not bad for a mere $50.oo on my behalf for trip costs, plus a day of hard, honest work.
Half-way through the mountains, on our way back to Alberta, everyone's mood suddenly changed. We became quiet, depressed, almost soul-sick it seems. The other drivers suddenly transformed into asshole Albertans, cutting people off just to get ahead by one measly car-length. It even rained on us as we drove past the forests that were slowly changing into shorter, sicker trees...
Mike, my dad, just HAD to be a brat. He stole from Crown Land several chunks of government shale rock for personal use. Maryanne is his accomplice. I'm the witless witness. :)
It seemed that every bicycle enthusiast in B.C. was on our narrow mountain highway on our way home. We passed close to (if not more) than a hundred cyclists, all spread up and down the highway. All of them were cycling east towards Alberta.
We made a quick pit-stop in Olds I believe. There I saw the neatest home-made camperized van ever. This old man had made a wooden camper for his van. It looked like a gypsy wagon, only on a van. The walls were just stacked slats of thin strips of wood on top of each other. It looked like those blinds on windows that roll up and down, only these wooden slats were solid and wouldn't move. We couldn't take a picture because the camera was buried under pillows at the time.
Alberta was blanketed in snow as we entered, and remained so for quite a ways. It's sickening, to come from sunny paradise and enter our flat-land, snow-covered, short-treed land of rude and ignorant people. After driving northbound on highway 2, the snow just suddenly disappeared, and returned to summer green grass and fields.
Here I am in Blackfalds, like I said. I called my mother at home, telling her I made it just fine, and that I'm coming home soon. The ever-flowing cash reserves in my bank account have finally dwindled after two months of doing nothing, so it's time I find work once again. Oh joy...
Since I can't link videos to Blogger properly, once I'm back home with all of my other files, I'll start posting on my new Vox account. I should have saved my old Vox blog, but it's too late now to recover it. Tomorrow all of the digital video and pictures we took on this trip will be burnt onto a CD for me. From there, I can put it on my computer and then upload it onto my Google Video account, giving me a web-link so I can post my videos for all to see without taking up any monthly storage space on my blogs.
My poor knees... Being cooped up in a back seat with no leg room at all. Make your hearts bleed for me folks, make your hearts bleed for me...
Anyways, I'll be home in Fort Saskatchewan soon enough. Any changes to my other sites will be posted, so you readers can track me down and keep in contact with me.
It's late. Later peeps!
Sunday, May 20, 2007
I'm still in British Columbia!
I'm still in B.C. folks! I've been here, oh?... Maybe four days now. It's hard to keep track of the days when you're in paradise.
Yesterday was kind of a hang-out with everyone kind of day. Aunt Launra had bought some new living room furniature, so she spent three hours getting it to look 'just right' in her house.
I haven't had anymore incidents with her deranged dog biting me yet. It seems the dog and I have a mutual 'leave each other alone' attitude. Not that I'm scared of it at all or anything, but I do have a healthy respect for a creature that can move as fast as a feral wolf.
Today... Today is one of those days where I find kind of ironic. See, I'm here on 'vacation', which, translated in grandson language, means 'destined to work his butt off for people he doesn't really know time' instead. Now, my great aunt Dorothy is a sweet gal. Yesterday while hanging out with the old guys in my family, we passed by her place to say 'hi, we're all still alive, and it's good to see ya'. I don't mind working for relatives, but I just have to kind of shake my head and sigh whenever I'm browbeat into helping people. Sure, she's old and she can't do it on her own, but gosh darn it! The timing of the work to be done seems kinda fishy to me ;).
We took out all of the storm windows on her duplex, both sides, and washed every window on her house. While I did that, the other old male farts in my family poured turpentine into the dead roots of a tree stump; either to make sure the dead tree never grows again, or to keep the ant population down. I don't know. Mike got some video of me working in action (working in-action) and we made a few wise-cracks. She's really a nice old lady. Great uncle Willie bought us some Mama Burgers, and we all sat down for lunch together and took more videos. Gramps was there, me, Mike, uncle Willie, Aunt Dorothy, Maryanne dropped in, and Dorothy's dog (Toto) Ripple.
After all the work was done, aunt Dorothy paid us for the work we did. I don't really feel good for taking the fifty dollar bill she handed me for just washing windows, but I justified it by saying (jokingly) that the money would make up for all the missed birthdays and christmas-es. We said goodbye, and made promises of maybe stopping in again in August if I had some time off from the job I plan on getting when I return to Fort Saskatchewan.
We came back to aunt Laura's four-plex that she runs, and decided to take a nap. It's hot in B.C., and any sort of action here seems to suck away all of your energy. Laura is cooking us a fancy dinner. I think somebody earlier today mentioned something about seeing a movie later on in the evening, but I can't recall.
Laura just shared some wine with us. I'm the only other person here who appreciates wine, and how to 'properly' enjoy it. I handed her a small bottle of Czech Absinthe (all my good stuff is at home) and let her at it. She didn't want to taste it, but she did give it a good whiff. She said the vapors were harsh. What's she talking about? Absinthe is the sweetest drink around...
I'm just blogging a bit before it's supper time. I'm going to write down a few of my e-mail links and blog sites for Laura. She wants to read up all about me, and since I like to blog a lot, she'll have plenty to read.
Well, today isn't over yet, but this blog is near it's end. I really want to get a digital cam-corder when I get back home, so I can make a video documentary on me and my town. I have a few friends from the Skary forums I can't talk to any more, but if I can upload my videos for Zythe he can share the link for the others to find and contact me. He's the only one I've talked to regularily on MSN. Zythes a good guy.
I'll be going back to Vox. I already have my blog ready for me. I'm going to wait until I get back to the Fort before I make my first post. My first post of course will be my apology to Katy again. I remade a MySpace profile, and I think this time things will be better. I'm not using my Autumnbear_1@hotmail e-mail address anymore. I'm slowly going to switch over to Autumnbear@email.com instead. I am, after all, the real Autumnbear, and not some _1 wanna-be Autumnbear.
Time to write down some web links then. Later peeps! O_x
Yesterday was kind of a hang-out with everyone kind of day. Aunt Launra had bought some new living room furniature, so she spent three hours getting it to look 'just right' in her house.
I haven't had anymore incidents with her deranged dog biting me yet. It seems the dog and I have a mutual 'leave each other alone' attitude. Not that I'm scared of it at all or anything, but I do have a healthy respect for a creature that can move as fast as a feral wolf.
Today... Today is one of those days where I find kind of ironic. See, I'm here on 'vacation', which, translated in grandson language, means 'destined to work his butt off for people he doesn't really know time' instead. Now, my great aunt Dorothy is a sweet gal. Yesterday while hanging out with the old guys in my family, we passed by her place to say 'hi, we're all still alive, and it's good to see ya'. I don't mind working for relatives, but I just have to kind of shake my head and sigh whenever I'm browbeat into helping people. Sure, she's old and she can't do it on her own, but gosh darn it! The timing of the work to be done seems kinda fishy to me ;).
We took out all of the storm windows on her duplex, both sides, and washed every window on her house. While I did that, the other old male farts in my family poured turpentine into the dead roots of a tree stump; either to make sure the dead tree never grows again, or to keep the ant population down. I don't know. Mike got some video of me working in action (working in-action) and we made a few wise-cracks. She's really a nice old lady. Great uncle Willie bought us some Mama Burgers, and we all sat down for lunch together and took more videos. Gramps was there, me, Mike, uncle Willie, Aunt Dorothy, Maryanne dropped in, and Dorothy's dog (Toto) Ripple.
After all the work was done, aunt Dorothy paid us for the work we did. I don't really feel good for taking the fifty dollar bill she handed me for just washing windows, but I justified it by saying (jokingly) that the money would make up for all the missed birthdays and christmas-es. We said goodbye, and made promises of maybe stopping in again in August if I had some time off from the job I plan on getting when I return to Fort Saskatchewan.
We came back to aunt Laura's four-plex that she runs, and decided to take a nap. It's hot in B.C., and any sort of action here seems to suck away all of your energy. Laura is cooking us a fancy dinner. I think somebody earlier today mentioned something about seeing a movie later on in the evening, but I can't recall.
Laura just shared some wine with us. I'm the only other person here who appreciates wine, and how to 'properly' enjoy it. I handed her a small bottle of Czech Absinthe (all my good stuff is at home) and let her at it. She didn't want to taste it, but she did give it a good whiff. She said the vapors were harsh. What's she talking about? Absinthe is the sweetest drink around...
I'm just blogging a bit before it's supper time. I'm going to write down a few of my e-mail links and blog sites for Laura. She wants to read up all about me, and since I like to blog a lot, she'll have plenty to read.
Well, today isn't over yet, but this blog is near it's end. I really want to get a digital cam-corder when I get back home, so I can make a video documentary on me and my town. I have a few friends from the Skary forums I can't talk to any more, but if I can upload my videos for Zythe he can share the link for the others to find and contact me. He's the only one I've talked to regularily on MSN. Zythes a good guy.
I'll be going back to Vox. I already have my blog ready for me. I'm going to wait until I get back to the Fort before I make my first post. My first post of course will be my apology to Katy again. I remade a MySpace profile, and I think this time things will be better. I'm not using my Autumnbear_1@hotmail e-mail address anymore. I'm slowly going to switch over to Autumnbear@email.com instead. I am, after all, the real Autumnbear, and not some _1 wanna-be Autumnbear.
Time to write down some web links then. Later peeps! O_x
Saturday, May 19, 2007
I'm in Beautiful British Columbia!
Here I am in B.C. with my family. I've been in Kelowna for three days now. Before I preach how wonderful B.C. is, and how much better it is compared to home, let me tell you about my travels first.
It took only 2 hours to drive from Fort Saskatchewan to Blackfalds, in Alberta. I was meeting up with my dad, so we could take his girlfriends car instead of my clunky jeep/truck.
I arrived, and found out that there was a chance of not being able to go to B.C. after all. I was a little choked at the thought, as I've been planing this trip for weeks now. Apparently, mudslides on the highway through the mountains have caused delays for motorists. Maryanne, my dad's girlfriend, called up some people and learned that traffic was currently moving through the pass, but very slowly, and status could change immediately. She booked us a hotel room, just in case, in the area before the pass. The deal was that if we couldn't get through the pass with the mudslide, we'd instead stay at the hotel for a night or two, and see what happens. If things didn't improve, we'd just go home. However, if the pass was open for us, we could call and cancel the held rooms after we passed the mudslide.
After a short pit-stop in Blackfalds, we were on our way. South on highway 2, now called Queen Elizabeth 2, then heading west towards Banff. I sat in the back, with little legroom. I felt it after a few hours of riding, the swelling in my damaged knees build and build, with no room to stretch or relieve the pressure. Yeah, it hurt a little, but I managed.
The mountais slowly grew bigger and bigger and bigger as we neared them. I hadn't been in B.C. since I was 17 in Ventures (scouts for bigger boys) the last time I came. There was a mountain goat/sheep/whatever directly to my side as we passed through a passage where the walls were touching the shoulders of the road. The sheep was only 10-12 feet off the ground, and on my side of the car. I could almost reach out and touch it. Vegetation everywhere but Fort Saskatchewan seems more lush and vibrant. I live in a dead prairie wasteland, and I'm very much in love with trees, so for me to become immersed in forest and vegetation and mountains... Wow. I was loving it, just like every other time I've come to B.C. for a visit.
We passed through Enderby, the city where I was born. It's a lovely town, in the middle of a very large bowl-shaped valley. The highway cut right through the town, and the hospital where I was born was off to the side. It doesn't look like a hospital at all. It instead looks like one of those fancy spas/resorts people go to, and it was rather small. Maryanne and Mike told me it had recently been converted into a health and well being center, and the new hospital was further away in town. I thought it was neat, seeing where I was brought into the world, and knowing it wasn't a dark and cold hospital like I had imagined it to be.
The first day in Kelowna, after we arrived, was rather hectic for me. I went to bed early, worn out after a day full of activity. My aunt Laura owns a four-plex, and we were staying with her. She's the land-lord of the property, which I thought was neat. In addition to being a landlord, she also works in an animal clinic. Downstairs lives two more relatives of mine. Uncle Willie, a large old man who used to work as a train engineer. My Grams, grandma Zorn, lives in the other downstairs suite with her boyfriend/companion. The fourth space belongs to some wierdo that Laura plans on evicting. I don't know who will live there after that space is vacant. I would love to live here, but I'd have to live alone.
My first day involved meeting relatives I hadn't talked to since I was a wee lad. Very awkward, but I survived. I can't remember all that we did on day one, but when I saw Lauras computer in my guest room with internet, and she said feel free to use it as much as ya want, I just grinned.
Day two was a lot more active. I went with my dad and Gramps, grandpa Zorn who does not live with Grams anymore, to tour the town. We went to his yacht club, where we took his single mast 20-some foot boat out onto Lake Okanagan. It was a blast of course, as I love water sports. Flat-landers like me sometimes do appreciate boating now and then you know. After several hours of boating, we called it quits. The wind was too low for sailing, so we were just using the outboard motor instead. The water was like glass, and even though it was really warm outside, the occasional breeze kept us nice and cool.
After sailing, we stopped for a bite to eat at a Subway, where we practically bragged about being tourists to the workers, and then we left to go hiking. We didn't go on a real hiking trail; instead we went to a more family walking trail, which led to a waterfall. I can't
recall the name of it right now, but when I post my pictures we took I'll be able to title it. I was pretty tired after all that hiking, and all the sun, and excitement... So we went back home to aunt Lauras place. But not until after we met up with a few more relatives in Kelowna.
We returned, and discovered a terrible smell in the air. It appears that they might be having a small gas leak somewhere in the fourplex. They got 5 different gas company workers to come out, each with their own gas-sniffing devices. But their machines wouldn't pick up any gas, so they shrugged it off. We decided the funny smells must be the sprays they spray on the trees to control the bug and pest problems.
We had an outdoor family meal on day two for supper. Now, I'm not used to eating around people, let alone outside. This was quite an unusual experience for me. We had a BBQ, with baked beans, salad, followed by icecream and cookies. Yeah, I stuffed myself.
I was bit by Lauras dog today. It's a Karelian Bear Dog. It must either think I'm a dog of it's sex, or I'm a mugger, or I'm a bear in disguise. Our eyes met, and it spazzed. I've been attacked by dogs before, and I'm rather jaded by it. My first thought was of killing it, but since it's family, and I'm not really THAT mean, I instead was going to restrain it. This dog is FAST, much faster than other dogs I've fought. It sure has spirit, I can say that at least. It bit my ankle, so I did a side-sweeping kick and pushed it away. It just missed my leg meat, and merely tore a hole into my jeans, as if it was cheap material. Those teeth are impressive! Laura came out as soon as the dog started spazzing, so I didn't have to use my dog-wrestling technique. We're all puzzled as to why it lunged at me in the first place. These dogs are great with kids, and friendly towards people. Maybe I was walking too quietly, or I just startled her, or eye contact pissed it off. We'll never know. Laura feels awful because of it, but she doesn't realize that I'm not even fazed by it. I have a little deep scratch on my right ankle, no big deal. The dog is more scared of me, so what can I say?
Today is day 3. I woke up maybe an hour or two ago. Having coffee, with flavoured creamers (oh yeah...), and just blogging away. Mike and Maryanne are back. They apparently went out earlier this morning. I have a hard time sleeping usually. But this B.C. air, and a hard mattress bed... Hmmm... I could probably go back to bed right now for a few more hours.
Well, I guess I'll end this part of the blog right now. I'll fill in the glory details of B.C. later, as I'm sure the family wants to go do things. I'll try typing later on, so for now, I gotta go.
Later peeps! O_x
It took only 2 hours to drive from Fort Saskatchewan to Blackfalds, in Alberta. I was meeting up with my dad, so we could take his girlfriends car instead of my clunky jeep/truck.
I arrived, and found out that there was a chance of not being able to go to B.C. after all. I was a little choked at the thought, as I've been planing this trip for weeks now. Apparently, mudslides on the highway through the mountains have caused delays for motorists. Maryanne, my dad's girlfriend, called up some people and learned that traffic was currently moving through the pass, but very slowly, and status could change immediately. She booked us a hotel room, just in case, in the area before the pass. The deal was that if we couldn't get through the pass with the mudslide, we'd instead stay at the hotel for a night or two, and see what happens. If things didn't improve, we'd just go home. However, if the pass was open for us, we could call and cancel the held rooms after we passed the mudslide.
After a short pit-stop in Blackfalds, we were on our way. South on highway 2, now called Queen Elizabeth 2, then heading west towards Banff. I sat in the back, with little legroom. I felt it after a few hours of riding, the swelling in my damaged knees build and build, with no room to stretch or relieve the pressure. Yeah, it hurt a little, but I managed.
The mountais slowly grew bigger and bigger and bigger as we neared them. I hadn't been in B.C. since I was 17 in Ventures (scouts for bigger boys) the last time I came. There was a mountain goat/sheep/whatever directly to my side as we passed through a passage where the walls were touching the shoulders of the road. The sheep was only 10-12 feet off the ground, and on my side of the car. I could almost reach out and touch it. Vegetation everywhere but Fort Saskatchewan seems more lush and vibrant. I live in a dead prairie wasteland, and I'm very much in love with trees, so for me to become immersed in forest and vegetation and mountains... Wow. I was loving it, just like every other time I've come to B.C. for a visit.
We passed through Enderby, the city where I was born. It's a lovely town, in the middle of a very large bowl-shaped valley. The highway cut right through the town, and the hospital where I was born was off to the side. It doesn't look like a hospital at all. It instead looks like one of those fancy spas/resorts people go to, and it was rather small. Maryanne and Mike told me it had recently been converted into a health and well being center, and the new hospital was further away in town. I thought it was neat, seeing where I was brought into the world, and knowing it wasn't a dark and cold hospital like I had imagined it to be.
The first day in Kelowna, after we arrived, was rather hectic for me. I went to bed early, worn out after a day full of activity. My aunt Laura owns a four-plex, and we were staying with her. She's the land-lord of the property, which I thought was neat. In addition to being a landlord, she also works in an animal clinic. Downstairs lives two more relatives of mine. Uncle Willie, a large old man who used to work as a train engineer. My Grams, grandma Zorn, lives in the other downstairs suite with her boyfriend/companion. The fourth space belongs to some wierdo that Laura plans on evicting. I don't know who will live there after that space is vacant. I would love to live here, but I'd have to live alone.
My first day involved meeting relatives I hadn't talked to since I was a wee lad. Very awkward, but I survived. I can't remember all that we did on day one, but when I saw Lauras computer in my guest room with internet, and she said feel free to use it as much as ya want, I just grinned.
Day two was a lot more active. I went with my dad and Gramps, grandpa Zorn who does not live with Grams anymore, to tour the town. We went to his yacht club, where we took his single mast 20-some foot boat out onto Lake Okanagan. It was a blast of course, as I love water sports. Flat-landers like me sometimes do appreciate boating now and then you know. After several hours of boating, we called it quits. The wind was too low for sailing, so we were just using the outboard motor instead. The water was like glass, and even though it was really warm outside, the occasional breeze kept us nice and cool.
After sailing, we stopped for a bite to eat at a Subway, where we practically bragged about being tourists to the workers, and then we left to go hiking. We didn't go on a real hiking trail; instead we went to a more family walking trail, which led to a waterfall. I can't
recall the name of it right now, but when I post my pictures we took I'll be able to title it. I was pretty tired after all that hiking, and all the sun, and excitement... So we went back home to aunt Lauras place. But not until after we met up with a few more relatives in Kelowna.
We returned, and discovered a terrible smell in the air. It appears that they might be having a small gas leak somewhere in the fourplex. They got 5 different gas company workers to come out, each with their own gas-sniffing devices. But their machines wouldn't pick up any gas, so they shrugged it off. We decided the funny smells must be the sprays they spray on the trees to control the bug and pest problems.
We had an outdoor family meal on day two for supper. Now, I'm not used to eating around people, let alone outside. This was quite an unusual experience for me. We had a BBQ, with baked beans, salad, followed by icecream and cookies. Yeah, I stuffed myself.
I was bit by Lauras dog today. It's a Karelian Bear Dog. It must either think I'm a dog of it's sex, or I'm a mugger, or I'm a bear in disguise. Our eyes met, and it spazzed. I've been attacked by dogs before, and I'm rather jaded by it. My first thought was of killing it, but since it's family, and I'm not really THAT mean, I instead was going to restrain it. This dog is FAST, much faster than other dogs I've fought. It sure has spirit, I can say that at least. It bit my ankle, so I did a side-sweeping kick and pushed it away. It just missed my leg meat, and merely tore a hole into my jeans, as if it was cheap material. Those teeth are impressive! Laura came out as soon as the dog started spazzing, so I didn't have to use my dog-wrestling technique. We're all puzzled as to why it lunged at me in the first place. These dogs are great with kids, and friendly towards people. Maybe I was walking too quietly, or I just startled her, or eye contact pissed it off. We'll never know. Laura feels awful because of it, but she doesn't realize that I'm not even fazed by it. I have a little deep scratch on my right ankle, no big deal. The dog is more scared of me, so what can I say?
Today is day 3. I woke up maybe an hour or two ago. Having coffee, with flavoured creamers (oh yeah...), and just blogging away. Mike and Maryanne are back. They apparently went out earlier this morning. I have a hard time sleeping usually. But this B.C. air, and a hard mattress bed... Hmmm... I could probably go back to bed right now for a few more hours.
Well, I guess I'll end this part of the blog right now. I'll fill in the glory details of B.C. later, as I'm sure the family wants to go do things. I'll try typing later on, so for now, I gotta go.
Later peeps! O_x
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Kim and Laurie are gone. Woohoo!
Kim and my mom are doing thing. They're staying at the Super 8 Hotel just outside of town, we're they're both celebrating a post-Mother's Day AND Kim's birthday. Their room has a jacuzzi, and there's an indoor pool and some other nice features I can't quite recall.
I'm surprised they needed a credit card just to book in; I've been in hotels/motels before, where cash basically either said you had a room for the night, or you didn't.
They're both good women, and I know they're stressed from a house full of crazy teens. Now I'm left all alone to look after them for the night!
I can't leave tomorrow until I'm SURE the girls are going to school. They would most likely try to stay at home, pretending, or not, to be sick (probably from what they're out drinking tonight).
I can't keep a leash on 16 year old girls. Trying to keep an eye on TWO of them is impossible. Their moms know they're out at a party, and we've all seen the girls with hangovers before. If they're sick in the morning... too bad. They're under orders to go to school anyways.
I'm just sitting here at home, supper done and done, waiting for the last of my clothes to finish drying for my trip. I'm quite bored, so I tried logging on to Runescape again. http://www.runescape.com/ is the link. I didn't think my old character would still exist, but he does. That's way back when my user name was Autumn Bear, two distinct words instead of one long one. That's why I had so much trouble logging in again. But I did. Sure enough, because I had not been a paying, special-priviledged member for a long time now, I am back to being a 'free member'. And as surely as the sun goes up and down, all my free member quests are already done from long ago. So, despite my efforts to revive this long forgotten character of mine, there's nothing left I can do on him. I'm sooo bored...
I can't hike right now, because I'm babysitting the house and waiting for my laundry. I can't post in my other forums, because they no longer exist. And I can't beat up my siblings, because half of them are out partying, on a school night!
Still, I'm in control of the house, so I feel manly and strong. Grrr!!!
I'm surprised they needed a credit card just to book in; I've been in hotels/motels before, where cash basically either said you had a room for the night, or you didn't.
They're both good women, and I know they're stressed from a house full of crazy teens. Now I'm left all alone to look after them for the night!
I can't leave tomorrow until I'm SURE the girls are going to school. They would most likely try to stay at home, pretending, or not, to be sick (probably from what they're out drinking tonight).
I can't keep a leash on 16 year old girls. Trying to keep an eye on TWO of them is impossible. Their moms know they're out at a party, and we've all seen the girls with hangovers before. If they're sick in the morning... too bad. They're under orders to go to school anyways.
I'm just sitting here at home, supper done and done, waiting for the last of my clothes to finish drying for my trip. I'm quite bored, so I tried logging on to Runescape again. http://www.runescape.com/ is the link. I didn't think my old character would still exist, but he does. That's way back when my user name was Autumn Bear, two distinct words instead of one long one. That's why I had so much trouble logging in again. But I did. Sure enough, because I had not been a paying, special-priviledged member for a long time now, I am back to being a 'free member'. And as surely as the sun goes up and down, all my free member quests are already done from long ago. So, despite my efforts to revive this long forgotten character of mine, there's nothing left I can do on him. I'm sooo bored...
I can't hike right now, because I'm babysitting the house and waiting for my laundry. I can't post in my other forums, because they no longer exist. And I can't beat up my siblings, because half of them are out partying, on a school night!
Still, I'm in control of the house, so I feel manly and strong. Grrr!!!
I'm going on holidays!
Tomorrow morning I'm going away for a week and a half. Beautiful British Columbia, home of most of my relatives and kinfolk. I can't wait!
I'll be driving to Blackfalds in my truck and stopping at my dad's place. Him and I and his girlfriend are taking their car after a quick pit-stop, then we're on our way!
I haven't been to B.C. since I was in Ventures when I was 17. I used to go a lot as a kid with one side of my family. There's no other place in Canada like it.
We have desert, tropical forest, mountains, beach, wetlands, boreal forest, tundra, foothills, and flat-land. The best part of it is that all of these features are reachable in just a mere hour or two of driving.
I love the smell of forest fires. It reminds me of my trips to B.C. when I was younger, and all the Scouting camps I've gone to. B.C. is famous for it's fires every spring until fall.
I know we won't be going as far west as I'd like. I'd love to stand in the ocean again. But we will be visiting people in Revelstoke, Kelowna, and Lake Okanagan. I was born in Enderby, B.C., and I'd like to visit there one day as well. I'm told it's in a valley ringed with forest. Maybe one day I'll see for myself.
My dad Mike and his girlfriend Maryanne will be staying with relatives in one town, and when we visit other folk of ours, we'll have to rent a motel room or something.
Anyways, I won't be able to blog for over a week, so I just might go crazy out there!
P.S. I can edit page colours now on this site, but I still can't figure out how to insert a background image. The more I mess around, the more I'll learn. I REALLY hate this sites video link bar. I do a search and find one video I want to keep, and it posts four results of my search on my blog. I look up Dracula, and I get clips from Bram Stoker, Interview with a Vampire, Dracula 2000, and some cartoon vampire thing. If all I want is one video, why am I getting all four DIFFERENT videos? Grrr... Stupid add-ons.
I'll be driving to Blackfalds in my truck and stopping at my dad's place. Him and I and his girlfriend are taking their car after a quick pit-stop, then we're on our way!
I haven't been to B.C. since I was in Ventures when I was 17. I used to go a lot as a kid with one side of my family. There's no other place in Canada like it.
We have desert, tropical forest, mountains, beach, wetlands, boreal forest, tundra, foothills, and flat-land. The best part of it is that all of these features are reachable in just a mere hour or two of driving.
I love the smell of forest fires. It reminds me of my trips to B.C. when I was younger, and all the Scouting camps I've gone to. B.C. is famous for it's fires every spring until fall.
I know we won't be going as far west as I'd like. I'd love to stand in the ocean again. But we will be visiting people in Revelstoke, Kelowna, and Lake Okanagan. I was born in Enderby, B.C., and I'd like to visit there one day as well. I'm told it's in a valley ringed with forest. Maybe one day I'll see for myself.
My dad Mike and his girlfriend Maryanne will be staying with relatives in one town, and when we visit other folk of ours, we'll have to rent a motel room or something.
Anyways, I won't be able to blog for over a week, so I just might go crazy out there!
P.S. I can edit page colours now on this site, but I still can't figure out how to insert a background image. The more I mess around, the more I'll learn. I REALLY hate this sites video link bar. I do a search and find one video I want to keep, and it posts four results of my search on my blog. I look up Dracula, and I get clips from Bram Stoker, Interview with a Vampire, Dracula 2000, and some cartoon vampire thing. If all I want is one video, why am I getting all four DIFFERENT videos? Grrr... Stupid add-ons.
New beginnings.
Seeing as I can't re-make my deleted account on MySpace or Vox, I did a Google search on Blog sites. This is the first to pop up, so I joined Blogger.
I TRIED to re-make my MySpace account, but when I do a search for 'Autumnbear' on it, the old account and old user name of 'Autumnbear' shows up, and NOT the new 'Autumnbear' account. It keeps telling me that my user profile has been deleted, even though I can log in as my new 'Autumnbear' account and post on it.
The Vox account won't let me re-make it at all. My E-mail is already in use, it says, so you can't make your account. But since I deleted my old account, I can't even log into it, even though it says the E-mail address is still in use.
I'm a little annoyed, but I will survive. I liked Vox more than MySpace. I could link videos, pictures, and music much easier than I could on MySpace. It was a great site, and I'll miss it even though I was only a member for less than a week on it.
My first blog on this new site is an official apology for a graphic designer/ flash artist known as Katy Towell. I'm hoping that if she ever does a web search on 'that asshole Autumnbear' she'll come across it and maybe read what I posted. I did something truly terrible to upset her, and because I'm too scared to risk contacting her again at the risk of her disappearing into a far-off monastery in Tibet, I chose to remain silent. The world and her friends needs her, and if I chase her off, the loss would be great for everyone. I'm already feeling too much guilt and self-pity; if she stopped creating art for herself because of me...
I'm going to lay low for a while, and stay away from her and her sites. She needs her privacy, and I need to think about what I had done.
I NEED a blogging forum that lets me post whenever I need to. I'm addicted to blogs, and I have a lot on my mind that needs to come out. When I deleted my old blogs, I lost a huge chunk of my thoughts on paper. Now all that crap is back in me again. Hopefully on this site I can keep my nose clean, and not be so stupid in the future. I don't know how to edit my background yet, and I doubt I'll be able to link my favourite videos on this site yet, but it WAS the first result on my search on Google for a blogging site. So here I am, starting over, and I hope I never make such a stupid mistake in my life ever again.
Here was my old calling sign. I used to post it on every post title, and at the end of each post.
O_x
I TRIED to re-make my MySpace account, but when I do a search for 'Autumnbear' on it, the old account and old user name of 'Autumnbear' shows up, and NOT the new 'Autumnbear' account. It keeps telling me that my user profile has been deleted, even though I can log in as my new 'Autumnbear' account and post on it.
The Vox account won't let me re-make it at all. My E-mail is already in use, it says, so you can't make your account. But since I deleted my old account, I can't even log into it, even though it says the E-mail address is still in use.
I'm a little annoyed, but I will survive. I liked Vox more than MySpace. I could link videos, pictures, and music much easier than I could on MySpace. It was a great site, and I'll miss it even though I was only a member for less than a week on it.
My first blog on this new site is an official apology for a graphic designer/ flash artist known as Katy Towell. I'm hoping that if she ever does a web search on 'that asshole Autumnbear' she'll come across it and maybe read what I posted. I did something truly terrible to upset her, and because I'm too scared to risk contacting her again at the risk of her disappearing into a far-off monastery in Tibet, I chose to remain silent. The world and her friends needs her, and if I chase her off, the loss would be great for everyone. I'm already feeling too much guilt and self-pity; if she stopped creating art for herself because of me...
I'm going to lay low for a while, and stay away from her and her sites. She needs her privacy, and I need to think about what I had done.
I NEED a blogging forum that lets me post whenever I need to. I'm addicted to blogs, and I have a lot on my mind that needs to come out. When I deleted my old blogs, I lost a huge chunk of my thoughts on paper. Now all that crap is back in me again. Hopefully on this site I can keep my nose clean, and not be so stupid in the future. I don't know how to edit my background yet, and I doubt I'll be able to link my favourite videos on this site yet, but it WAS the first result on my search on Google for a blogging site. So here I am, starting over, and I hope I never make such a stupid mistake in my life ever again.
Here was my old calling sign. I used to post it on every post title, and at the end of each post.
O_x
An official apology to Katy Towell.
Recently I've ruined the life of a great person. Or, rather, I've ruined a very important part of their life.
In an attempt to learn more about one of my favourite flash artists, I stumbled upon her personal blog on a public site. My intentions were simple; I merely wanted to see what type of personality this person had, and what influences made them so great. I entered her personal blog site and looked at everything.
I did indeed learn a great deal about my artist. Even from my limited view, I could tell she's had a remarkable life, full of ups and downs and lots of zany moments. I could finally see the heart and soul of this great person!
But, knowledge came with a price...
Although my intentions were not sinister, as most people would imagine, they were seen as such. This amazing person is already very reclusive, sharing very little about herself to the rest of the world. I find that to be quite the shame, for I see her as a great individual. For all of her struggles, hard times, crazy moments, and good times, she is a reflection of what humanity SHOULD be. A person who lives and enjoys life, one who isn't afraid to have an opinion, and speaks her mind freely. I greatly admire people like her, and she is still in one of my top ten.
I scared her away. I scared her away with my continuous presence, and the intensity of my searches.
I of course made no effort to hide my presence in her forums, as I felt there to be no need to. I just wanted to say 'Hi! I know you! I think you rock!', and share her blogging forums as just another person in her neighbourhood.
I suppose I am a 'stalker' for following her trail of art and history, and looking at her pictures she had posted on her site. I didn't realize what I had done could be considered wrong at all. I was just, in my mind, 'looking up' a cool person. But I am now labeled as a stalker, and I can't deny the logic. Yes, I am in a ways a stalker. And I greatly apologize for that.
I DID look at her posted photos, and I DID look at her friends in her network. I invaded not only her private blogging space, but also that of her friends.
When I scared her away, not only did I cause her to stop posting uninhibited and freely, but I scared her to the point where she DELETED all of her old memories and posts. She cancelled her account, and went into hiding. Yes, I know this because I was wondering why her account suddenly disappeared, and I 'looked it up'. I truly MUST be a terrible person, as I continue to indulge my desires for answers.
Now everyone's favourite and reclusive artist will hide even further from the public. All of her friends will probably be told 'to hide' and not post anything personal ever again. In reality, I've managed to not only ruin ONE life, but MULTIPLE lives as well.
As soon as I had realized exactly what I had done, it was far too late. The deed was done, and now I'm left all alone to suffer for it.
I am guilty. I am ashamed. I am embarrassed, hurt, stunned, and bothered by my actions. But MY feelings don't matter here. Not this time.
I feel very sorry for what I've done to her, her friends, her fans, and myself.
I wish I wasn't so curious, and so blind at my own stupidity at times. I wish I wasn't so selfish. I wish I could go back, and change things. I wish I had made an effort to make things right, BEFORE it became too late. But wishing will not change the past, or make the pain go away, or make her trust me again.
I would like to think that an apology had tangible value, that merely saying 'I'm Sorry' instantly made everything right, and made everyone happy again. Too many people have abused these little words, and their value is nothing more than a hollow gesture of self pity. Words and actions alone this time aren't enough.
I severed ties to all of my new friends on her own fan forums by requesting my account get banned. I deleted all of my other blogging forums and personal web sites that held ties to her great work. I can't do any more, I'm afraid, except one last and final act. I've wanted to E-mail her privately, but risked pushing her even further away. Instead, my last act is this apology post, as I know I shouldn't contact her anymore. I hope she reads it one day, and understands that I never meant to cause such harm.
I gave in to my curiosity without restraint or control. I delved into areas I shouldn't have gone. I have taken away things that are not returnable. I have in a way become a monster, and knowing that I hurt someone through my actions makes me hate myself even more than you can.
Words alone can't begin to describe how truly sorry I really am. My feelings, they're like my guts are being shredded across a field of broken glass as I am dragged on my belly. I can't imagine what feelings I caused in you with my deeds. Those feelings of hurt and fear don't belong in you, and if I could remove them and place them in me instead, I would.
Katy Towell, I apologize for the wrongs I've done, and the results of doing them. I apologize for being the reason that made you had to delete your favourite blogging site. I apologize for taking away from you your peace and privacy. I apologize for infringing upon your life. I had no real need to do so, yet I still chose to do it. Katy, I am truly very sorry.
I am so sorry...
Can I do anything, ANYTHING, to make things better for everyone?
In an attempt to learn more about one of my favourite flash artists, I stumbled upon her personal blog on a public site. My intentions were simple; I merely wanted to see what type of personality this person had, and what influences made them so great. I entered her personal blog site and looked at everything.
I did indeed learn a great deal about my artist. Even from my limited view, I could tell she's had a remarkable life, full of ups and downs and lots of zany moments. I could finally see the heart and soul of this great person!
But, knowledge came with a price...
Although my intentions were not sinister, as most people would imagine, they were seen as such. This amazing person is already very reclusive, sharing very little about herself to the rest of the world. I find that to be quite the shame, for I see her as a great individual. For all of her struggles, hard times, crazy moments, and good times, she is a reflection of what humanity SHOULD be. A person who lives and enjoys life, one who isn't afraid to have an opinion, and speaks her mind freely. I greatly admire people like her, and she is still in one of my top ten.
I scared her away. I scared her away with my continuous presence, and the intensity of my searches.
I of course made no effort to hide my presence in her forums, as I felt there to be no need to. I just wanted to say 'Hi! I know you! I think you rock!', and share her blogging forums as just another person in her neighbourhood.
I suppose I am a 'stalker' for following her trail of art and history, and looking at her pictures she had posted on her site. I didn't realize what I had done could be considered wrong at all. I was just, in my mind, 'looking up' a cool person. But I am now labeled as a stalker, and I can't deny the logic. Yes, I am in a ways a stalker. And I greatly apologize for that.
I DID look at her posted photos, and I DID look at her friends in her network. I invaded not only her private blogging space, but also that of her friends.
When I scared her away, not only did I cause her to stop posting uninhibited and freely, but I scared her to the point where she DELETED all of her old memories and posts. She cancelled her account, and went into hiding. Yes, I know this because I was wondering why her account suddenly disappeared, and I 'looked it up'. I truly MUST be a terrible person, as I continue to indulge my desires for answers.
Now everyone's favourite and reclusive artist will hide even further from the public. All of her friends will probably be told 'to hide' and not post anything personal ever again. In reality, I've managed to not only ruin ONE life, but MULTIPLE lives as well.
As soon as I had realized exactly what I had done, it was far too late. The deed was done, and now I'm left all alone to suffer for it.
I am guilty. I am ashamed. I am embarrassed, hurt, stunned, and bothered by my actions. But MY feelings don't matter here. Not this time.
I feel very sorry for what I've done to her, her friends, her fans, and myself.
I wish I wasn't so curious, and so blind at my own stupidity at times. I wish I wasn't so selfish. I wish I could go back, and change things. I wish I had made an effort to make things right, BEFORE it became too late. But wishing will not change the past, or make the pain go away, or make her trust me again.
I would like to think that an apology had tangible value, that merely saying 'I'm Sorry' instantly made everything right, and made everyone happy again. Too many people have abused these little words, and their value is nothing more than a hollow gesture of self pity. Words and actions alone this time aren't enough.
I severed ties to all of my new friends on her own fan forums by requesting my account get banned. I deleted all of my other blogging forums and personal web sites that held ties to her great work. I can't do any more, I'm afraid, except one last and final act. I've wanted to E-mail her privately, but risked pushing her even further away. Instead, my last act is this apology post, as I know I shouldn't contact her anymore. I hope she reads it one day, and understands that I never meant to cause such harm.
I gave in to my curiosity without restraint or control. I delved into areas I shouldn't have gone. I have taken away things that are not returnable. I have in a way become a monster, and knowing that I hurt someone through my actions makes me hate myself even more than you can.
Words alone can't begin to describe how truly sorry I really am. My feelings, they're like my guts are being shredded across a field of broken glass as I am dragged on my belly. I can't imagine what feelings I caused in you with my deeds. Those feelings of hurt and fear don't belong in you, and if I could remove them and place them in me instead, I would.
Katy Towell, I apologize for the wrongs I've done, and the results of doing them. I apologize for being the reason that made you had to delete your favourite blogging site. I apologize for taking away from you your peace and privacy. I apologize for infringing upon your life. I had no real need to do so, yet I still chose to do it. Katy, I am truly very sorry.
I am so sorry...
Can I do anything, ANYTHING, to make things better for everyone?
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