Saturday. I had big plans for Saturday night. Scotty and Eric, both awesome buds of mine, had planned for me to go out with them.
After a day of reading stuff from an RP site that I go to, and playing WoW, I found out that plans had changed slightly.
Instead of going out, as planned, we were to go to Scottys place, and get drunk in his hot tub.
I said sure, whatever, and even though I don't usually spend my free time drinking and having 'fun' like most Albertan males, I chose to do so that night.
I came over, pitched about 60 bucks for drinks, and we started our own party. They had a fourth person over, a guy from Brandon, Manitoba. His name was 'Jamie', just like my 'sisters' name. He's cool, a trouble maker like Scott. He stayed for a few then had to go. Heh heh, poor guy had to work the next day. >_<
I soon got nekked and donned some swimming gear, stuff I borrowed from Scott, and we dragged our sorry butts outside into the cold night air.
The hot tub was JUST what I needed, especially after the long, hard week I put in before. I know you're only supposed to be in hot tubs for a limited amount of time, but we stayed in for at least two hours.
Scotts dogs kept trying to jump in with us. I wouldn't have minded... but Scott wouldn't let 'em in. Poor puppies!
We went inside, where I showed off my extensive collection of Favorites on YouTube, and then we watched a bit of T.V. for a bit (I think the order of what we did doesn't matter, as long as I post what we did, it should be all good, even if it is mixed up a lot).
We decided to try out his Shaw Cable packages special channels for a while. Did you know there's free karaoke channels? Well, there are! Imagine three drunk men, late at night, singing karaoke from television! I can't sing many songs, my pitch problems and all, but I sure as heck tried! Sand everything, Madonna songs, country, old 80s stuff, you name it, we tried it! (Big Wheel keeps on turnin'! Proud Mary keeps on burning! Rollin'! Rollin'! Rollin' down the river!)
After 30 dozen songs or so, I had finally sobered up enough to drive home. I fumbled my way in, fighting our stupid house lock, and crawled into bed moments before my mom Laurie woke up to start her day as a cab driver. Oh, I got yelled at later. She thought I drove home drunk. (I admit I have been really bad in the past, and even drove home from across Edmonton, down the highway, and through my town of Fort Saskatchewan completely drunk before, back when my life meant nothing to me. Never again folks, never again.)
I had a great night out with the boys, and it really chewed away a lot of stress that I've built up at work. Talking, singing, hanging out again, it was really great.
Sunday. I woke up early, to RP with Rinni.
We play little cyber-games with each other, but on Sunday, it was a scheduled 'serious' session.
Cyber-sex is mutually created smut, that both parties enjoy. No shame in doing it, 'cuz it's actually quite a lot of fun. I'm always willing to do a round or three. >_<
Unfortunately, Jamie... had to come downstairs and cut my game short. Right when the going was getting good, y'know?...
Jamie sweetly asked me for a ride to the city. Both of our computers have been going fritzy, due to some new viruses in our area. Plus the fact that she is forced to use 'Kim and Lauries' computer, she just really wanted to get her own.
I agreed, and said my many long goodbyes to Rinni. As much as I like to RP great sex scenes, Jamie means the world to me, so naturally she won out in the end.
I gathered up Jamie, Tony, and Steph, and we all drove to Edmonton, in the Clairview section, where there's a few major computer stores all side-by-side.
We go in, Tony wearing his Matrix-style trench coat I had bought him two Christmas' ago, me with my switchblade in my pocket, and Steph and Jamie were acting very girlish and giggly. Ah, fun, fun... ^_^
We go in, and Jamie browses for a while, locating a computer tower with the features she needs and wants.
Since Jamies hobby is to edit and splice anime scenes, and work them into AMV's, or anime music videos, she needed a good performance computer. Oh, boy howdy, she found one...
After taxes, it cost her just over a thousand bucks, and this tower doesn't come with a monitor. Just the tower. So she paid for it, and was VERY happy to finally have her own computer.
I drove the girls back to the Fort, with Tony of course... (No, I made him walk back. Ha ha ha!)(((J.K. stoopid...)))
I felt like ice cream. It was a beautiful day, nice and warm, and I was happy. So, I treated them all to some Dairy Queen ice cream. A really special treat, for sure!
We came home, and my final trip for the day was to drop Stephanie and Jamie off at our local WalMart, so they could go have some private shopping time together, and buy 'shoes'. Jeepers...
So, moving on to today (Monday).
Good day at work today. Jamie has today off for her Outreach Schooling. She's trying to get her High School Diploma. She can do it, 'cuz we're all supporting her. Plus, she doesn't seem so stressed at home anymore.
Today at work we got a new girl on our crew. She's a little older, maybe mid-thirties, but that's okay. A little larger for a girl, and a mom, but still okay. I could sense the strong decency in her, meaning I liked her. A lot. Enough to willingly go the extra mile and make her feel welcome at work with us and our crew. I can tell that she'll be a valuable addition to our little 'family' at work, not like some rejects like Owen (although he himself has actually been on good behaviou lately, almost likable again...).
I showed her the ropes. At 11am this morning, we had a long safety meeting, where we all got a special big thank you from the headshots. For doing good all winter, and braving the minus 45 degree weather, to make our plant navigatable for the three people that have to operate our chemical plants all the time, we were awarded with a special pizza lunch today. Holy cow! A thank you from Sherritt, and Jamie missed out by going to school today! Typical.
I had to Man Watch at two different areas today, and then a third spot, watching my own crew mates do a job. They had to enter a water filter at work, and hand-balm with buckets the coal and special resin/sand within it that scrubs the water clean. Inspectors have to eventually go into this vessel and check for cracks and stuff.
I even got some over-time today, helping my crew move coal and resin around. Big deal, one hour over time. I'm in a good mood today for some reason, so I didn't mind staying.
I came home and told everyone that there's a new girl at work. Jamie's all asking about her age and stuff, asking if she's pretty. I'm playing hard-to-get right now, so I gave loose half-answers, trying to see how interested she is right now. Apparently, she's really curious now. Heh. >_<
I just disabled a lot of micro-programs that attatched themselves to my computer this afternoon. They were popping up other internet sites on me, and lagging my computer. I spent the last week fighting certain things on my comp, and now I think I'm making real progress.
Soon, I have to go pick up Chinese Food for the family. I really am not a huge fan of our towns greasy, deeply battered Chinese Food. Really, it's expensive, gross, and makes ya sick. But my mums love it, so that's what we're getting... [Sigh...]
Phew, long post.
P.S.: I'm not a virgin! >_<
Heh heh. Night peoples! Luvs ya all!
Monday, February 25, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Friday, WooT!
Finally. A long week has slowly passed by, and now, the reward. Friday.
Work isn't really a great topic to write about. Well, for me it isn't, anyways... But since I know that none of you know what I do daily, it might be worth posting, no matter how dull or boring it sounds like.
However, after such a work-intensive week, today might be worth posting about.
Manwatching. Supervising workers in unsafe locations. Yup, that was me today. the guy watching all the action.
I was in the Ammonia plant, watching some Maintainance guys set-up and hook up a new exhaust pipe on Clark #6. A Clark is basically a giant engine that exists only to serve as a big-ass pump. In our case here, it pumps Ammonia. Lots of it.
These guys had to lift up some floor grating, crawl under the floor, and do some things. Nothing too special. Very mundane in fact. So mundane that I was nearly nodding off to sleep in-between entries. The guys would pop in, check something, and disappear for 10-15 minutes. In that hot and noisy building, I'm constantly being lulled to sleep. Why I can sleep in cars, loud buildings, or during stressful situations, I may never know. But it's easy for me to do so. Unfortunately, I have to be alert. So it's been a constant battle with myself, trying to settle for being halfway comfortable while still retaining alertness.
Check the gas-tech (Gas Detector), write the 'ins' and 'outs' of each entry on the back of the permit, yadda yadda yadda...
Today was so physically easy, especially compared to the rest of this week. However, I woke up completely exhausted today, and did not even want to move. Fighting against my desire to sleep was a real challenge today.
Despite my tiredness, I made a committment to take Stephanie out for dinner tonight.
I had promised her last weekend (or two) ago, and have since continued to be side-tracked by others into ruining our plans. She's been jealous that I've been taking Chris out, and Jamie out, but never her. Well, even though she's only 16, and can't drink anything, we still went out tonight. And had a blast.
We went to Boston Pizza (same place I take Chris to all the time), where we both ordered WAYYY too much food. It's hard when your eyes are way bigger than your tummys.
We sat and talked all night long, giggling like little girls, the both of us. Yes, people stared... ^_^
We drew pictures on a napkin, the theme was 'cute'. I drew a bear, then she drew a kitty-girl, then I drew something else, and she drew a Penguin (Jamie loves penguins BTW), and I drew a birthday cake, then she drew balloons in my bears' hands... This kept going on until there was no room left to draw stuff on.
I had one drink with something in it; some kind of orange creamsicle drink with vodka in it I think. She had the same, minus the vodka. I eated chicken parmesan, she ate a scallop-and-steak combo, plus all the side dishes we ordered on top of that. Came to a good chunk of money. 70 bucks covered the tip and the total bill.
Afterwards, she and I went to WalMart, where we bought Mouse Trap the game for Jamie (although it's 'for the family'), some pencil crayons (the reason we went there in the first place), and some make-up she snuck into the cart.
I looked like an idiot at those self-serve check-out counters they have. With no teller to do anything for you, I often wonder if it's possible that people are cheating the 'honor system' by not paying for stuff. I prefer to have a teller 'vouch' for me.
After a mini shopping spree, Steph drove me around. She doesn't have a licence at all, not even a learners. Laurie yelled at me the last time I let her drive me around, but...
Well, I'm just a bad big brother I suppose! >_<
I picked up some booze-a-hol for us to drink at home. Vodka and Whiskey, plus some pop. Steph drove me home, and after a 'shh, shut up! Don't tell Laurie I drove this time!' we went in, got on our PJs, then had a drink or two.
I gave Steph a leg and foot massage, then let her disappear upstairs so I could update this blog.
I'm so pooped, I can't even tell if I'm making any spelling mistakes or not! >_<
Tomorrow, Jamie and Steph, plus Cigi from work, are having a girls day out together. Steph has never met Cigi before, but I'm sure they'll be okay together.
Me, well, I'm supposed to be kidnapped by Scott and Eric tomorrow. I'm supposed to have some 'boy time' with them. Looking forward to it.
Oh, almost forgot. Yesterday, someone wrote on my truck, in the dust and grime, that 'I [heart/love] Cigi'.
Today, for a brief moment when I was sent to a job with her, Cigi wrote on duct tape and stuck it on my forhead. 'I love Cigi' it said, along with 'Sherritt Rox!'.
Although I have no feelings for Cigi, I believe she's cute, and I even told her so. Guess it's easier to tell the truth to people you don't care about, heh.
So, I'm thinking that she dveeloped a crush on me. I feel really weird about it, a little creeped out even. Usually, girls don't like me first. I'm supposed to be the guy with all the strange attractions.
Me, I don't look like those 'hot' guys on T.V., or even have a model face or anything. I'm just an average guy, a geek, who likes to blog a lot. My abs are hidden under a sheath of fat, and I have messy hair, big glasses, a broken tooth... Man, I dunno. For a pretty girl like her to flirt with me like this, it just feels so, wrong somehow.
I can barely see now. 11:41pm. Tired... Night y'all, and I loves ya too! Wish me a good day tomorrow, I need it! X_x
Work isn't really a great topic to write about. Well, for me it isn't, anyways... But since I know that none of you know what I do daily, it might be worth posting, no matter how dull or boring it sounds like.
However, after such a work-intensive week, today might be worth posting about.
Manwatching. Supervising workers in unsafe locations. Yup, that was me today. the guy watching all the action.
I was in the Ammonia plant, watching some Maintainance guys set-up and hook up a new exhaust pipe on Clark #6. A Clark is basically a giant engine that exists only to serve as a big-ass pump. In our case here, it pumps Ammonia. Lots of it.
These guys had to lift up some floor grating, crawl under the floor, and do some things. Nothing too special. Very mundane in fact. So mundane that I was nearly nodding off to sleep in-between entries. The guys would pop in, check something, and disappear for 10-15 minutes. In that hot and noisy building, I'm constantly being lulled to sleep. Why I can sleep in cars, loud buildings, or during stressful situations, I may never know. But it's easy for me to do so. Unfortunately, I have to be alert. So it's been a constant battle with myself, trying to settle for being halfway comfortable while still retaining alertness.
Check the gas-tech (Gas Detector), write the 'ins' and 'outs' of each entry on the back of the permit, yadda yadda yadda...
Today was so physically easy, especially compared to the rest of this week. However, I woke up completely exhausted today, and did not even want to move. Fighting against my desire to sleep was a real challenge today.
Despite my tiredness, I made a committment to take Stephanie out for dinner tonight.
I had promised her last weekend (or two) ago, and have since continued to be side-tracked by others into ruining our plans. She's been jealous that I've been taking Chris out, and Jamie out, but never her. Well, even though she's only 16, and can't drink anything, we still went out tonight. And had a blast.
We went to Boston Pizza (same place I take Chris to all the time), where we both ordered WAYYY too much food. It's hard when your eyes are way bigger than your tummys.
We sat and talked all night long, giggling like little girls, the both of us. Yes, people stared... ^_^
We drew pictures on a napkin, the theme was 'cute'. I drew a bear, then she drew a kitty-girl, then I drew something else, and she drew a Penguin (Jamie loves penguins BTW), and I drew a birthday cake, then she drew balloons in my bears' hands... This kept going on until there was no room left to draw stuff on.
I had one drink with something in it; some kind of orange creamsicle drink with vodka in it I think. She had the same, minus the vodka. I eated chicken parmesan, she ate a scallop-and-steak combo, plus all the side dishes we ordered on top of that. Came to a good chunk of money. 70 bucks covered the tip and the total bill.
Afterwards, she and I went to WalMart, where we bought Mouse Trap the game for Jamie (although it's 'for the family'), some pencil crayons (the reason we went there in the first place), and some make-up she snuck into the cart.
I looked like an idiot at those self-serve check-out counters they have. With no teller to do anything for you, I often wonder if it's possible that people are cheating the 'honor system' by not paying for stuff. I prefer to have a teller 'vouch' for me.
After a mini shopping spree, Steph drove me around. She doesn't have a licence at all, not even a learners. Laurie yelled at me the last time I let her drive me around, but...
Well, I'm just a bad big brother I suppose! >_<
I picked up some booze-a-hol for us to drink at home. Vodka and Whiskey, plus some pop. Steph drove me home, and after a 'shh, shut up! Don't tell Laurie I drove this time!' we went in, got on our PJs, then had a drink or two.
I gave Steph a leg and foot massage, then let her disappear upstairs so I could update this blog.
I'm so pooped, I can't even tell if I'm making any spelling mistakes or not! >_<
Tomorrow, Jamie and Steph, plus Cigi from work, are having a girls day out together. Steph has never met Cigi before, but I'm sure they'll be okay together.
Me, well, I'm supposed to be kidnapped by Scott and Eric tomorrow. I'm supposed to have some 'boy time' with them. Looking forward to it.
Oh, almost forgot. Yesterday, someone wrote on my truck, in the dust and grime, that 'I [heart/love] Cigi'.
Today, for a brief moment when I was sent to a job with her, Cigi wrote on duct tape and stuck it on my forhead. 'I love Cigi' it said, along with 'Sherritt Rox!'.
Although I have no feelings for Cigi, I believe she's cute, and I even told her so. Guess it's easier to tell the truth to people you don't care about, heh.
So, I'm thinking that she dveeloped a crush on me. I feel really weird about it, a little creeped out even. Usually, girls don't like me first. I'm supposed to be the guy with all the strange attractions.
Me, I don't look like those 'hot' guys on T.V., or even have a model face or anything. I'm just an average guy, a geek, who likes to blog a lot. My abs are hidden under a sheath of fat, and I have messy hair, big glasses, a broken tooth... Man, I dunno. For a pretty girl like her to flirt with me like this, it just feels so, wrong somehow.
I can barely see now. 11:41pm. Tired... Night y'all, and I loves ya too! Wish me a good day tomorrow, I need it! X_x
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Annoying Friends
I have two old buddies. Scott and Eric, who, back in the good ol' days, used to be part of the 'core elite crew' at Sherritt, back when I lived a four and a half year stint at the chemical plants.
We (the 'old' crew) were bad-ass. We got away with murder. We did jobs without permits, went where-ever we wanted, brought knives to work, they smoked in the work truck and inside buildings, swore, spit, farted, told others what to do, and violated nearly every safety rule and law out there on that plant. Ah yes, the good old days, when no-one ever gave a fuck about us, and we turned that around thrice-fold back at every-one else, and we looked like gods among men.
Me especially, having absolutely nothing to live for at the time, would willingly do anything and everything that I was assigned to do. I did it well, with an attitude, and rose alive and stronger than before when others who were assigned to help me fell or left on their own, crying from the stress. I was legendary, and still am, legendary, on the plants.
Scott Johnson, a skinny blond-haired farm boy from Brandon, Manitoba. He grew up on the poor side of town, beside an indian reserve. He grew up lean and wiry, with a pretty baby face. Even today, with him being one year older than me, still looks like he's 16.
He's a fighter, a crazy scrapper who digs in deep, hard, and fast in the blink of an eye. Usually, he has a great attitude, an upbeat 'I don't give a shit attitude, as long as I have my weed' mentality. He's a daddy right now, living at home with his girlfriend, his parents letting them sub-let their basement suite. Scotty is a shoot-from-the-hip kind of guy, and if he doesn't like ya, he isn't shy to let you know. However, he stays upbeat and mellow most of the time, until you do something to piss you off. Scotty has never wanted to fight with me, play-fight or otherwise. I have always wanted to wrestle with him. The bastard... ^_^
Eric is a chunk older than me. He's 31-ish. He comes from Ontario, where his father owned an acreage. Bred and raised to be a vehicular operator, he has mastered equipment like back-hoes, small cranes, etc., since he was just a kid. He also has a passion for trucks and truck accessories. He hasn't really suffered financially at all in his life, so he carries an almost 'I'm better than you' mentality, like a noble-man, that most people either out-right hate or love. Me, I hated it at first, but have since learned that yes, there were times where Eric has had to work hard like us and actually earn something in his life. Eric is a womanizer of sorts, and believes he could have been a porn star in a past life. Crazy man.
I came home from work today, dead-dog tired. After a quick stop at a Donair shoppe (at Jamies' request) I trudged in through our door, got nekked, and took a long, hot soak in the bath.
Well, I MEANT to have a long, hot soak in the bath...
Door bangs open, and Stephanie yells up at me from below. ''David! Somebody's here to see you! It's Scotty and Eric!'
I groaned inwardly. I JUST wanted to sleep man! Have a nice hot bath and go to bed until supper time.
I sped through my bath, certain that I'd be dragged out against my will to go sit in a bar for a few hours with these two guys.
Nope.
Came down, and they just wanted to say hi to me in person, and make plans for this weekend. I told 'em on Sunday that I have plans to be online, doing my thing until Rinni came on to chat with me. But Saturdays' okay, I said. Sure! I got a hundred bucks that needs to be spent.
So, cool, cool... We sat for half an hour, bull-shitting, like good ol' times again. Sadly, Scott had to go (Steph was disappointed too, it's no secret she has the hots for him) back home to his 'wife'. Eric had dinner plans with some older woman or something, and I was/am really tired, too tired to go out and enjoy myself.
Once they left, I sighed a breath of relief. Friends are just too crazy to deal with at times. People change, ideas change, and situations change. I'm glad we're still good friends and all, but I'm not like who I used to be anymore. I changed, in many ways for the better, in others, for the worst. Some ways, I'm still the same ol' guy I used to be.
I may not have a reason or purpose to my life, but I have people I'm living for now. I can't completely disregard myself like I used to in the past. I've grown to love myself (some days hate myself even more, but only on my dark days), something that I haven't been able to do since I was a kid. I love other people, and don't want to hurt them in any way, especially by hurting myself. plus, now that I've tasted happiness again, and want to keep on getting it, my mindset is totally different from what it was in the past.
Today at work.
Imagine a giant metal box, with holes in it. Not just any holes. Imagine millions of holes in it, like a salt-and-pepper shaker has holes.
My job today was: Run a long shaft with a pipe cleaner tip on it through these holes with an electric drill, pull it back and forth inside these holes half a dozen times, and repeat the process a gazillion times.
I had to stand on a ledge, with many obstacles to bypass, as I dragged 8 feet of shaft back and forth in a 7 and a half foot wide ledge area.
I had to stand on my tippy-toes to reach many holes, so my back, shoulders, and arms are killing me, from doing that all day long.
I broke at least 8 of the custom-made pipe cleaner heads that screwed into the shaft today. I worked so steady that the metal actually heated up to the point and broke off, from all the spinning and work I put in.
Not quite done, so I have to go back tomorrow and finish it. Unless, of course, something even worse pops up, then I get to do that instead!
This blog is distracting me from Rinni right now. One last few things to post about, then I'm outta here!
Today, someone wrote in the dust on the side of my truck.
David [Heart] Cigi.
I do not LOVE Cigi!
I have told her that I think she's unbelievably cute and all, but that I'm 'in love with someone else'...
SOMEBODY is playing match-maker! Grrr...
Oh, Cigi is my bosses niece from B.C.. She works with us at Sherritt, and lives with Gary, the fat bastard who makes me work on weekends.
K, I'll post later. Rinni is typing an epic conversation with me today. it's like 10am right now over there in Australia. Gotta go peeps! Cyaz!
We (the 'old' crew) were bad-ass. We got away with murder. We did jobs without permits, went where-ever we wanted, brought knives to work, they smoked in the work truck and inside buildings, swore, spit, farted, told others what to do, and violated nearly every safety rule and law out there on that plant. Ah yes, the good old days, when no-one ever gave a fuck about us, and we turned that around thrice-fold back at every-one else, and we looked like gods among men.
Me especially, having absolutely nothing to live for at the time, would willingly do anything and everything that I was assigned to do. I did it well, with an attitude, and rose alive and stronger than before when others who were assigned to help me fell or left on their own, crying from the stress. I was legendary, and still am, legendary, on the plants.
Scott Johnson, a skinny blond-haired farm boy from Brandon, Manitoba. He grew up on the poor side of town, beside an indian reserve. He grew up lean and wiry, with a pretty baby face. Even today, with him being one year older than me, still looks like he's 16.
He's a fighter, a crazy scrapper who digs in deep, hard, and fast in the blink of an eye. Usually, he has a great attitude, an upbeat 'I don't give a shit attitude, as long as I have my weed' mentality. He's a daddy right now, living at home with his girlfriend, his parents letting them sub-let their basement suite. Scotty is a shoot-from-the-hip kind of guy, and if he doesn't like ya, he isn't shy to let you know. However, he stays upbeat and mellow most of the time, until you do something to piss you off. Scotty has never wanted to fight with me, play-fight or otherwise. I have always wanted to wrestle with him. The bastard... ^_^
Eric is a chunk older than me. He's 31-ish. He comes from Ontario, where his father owned an acreage. Bred and raised to be a vehicular operator, he has mastered equipment like back-hoes, small cranes, etc., since he was just a kid. He also has a passion for trucks and truck accessories. He hasn't really suffered financially at all in his life, so he carries an almost 'I'm better than you' mentality, like a noble-man, that most people either out-right hate or love. Me, I hated it at first, but have since learned that yes, there were times where Eric has had to work hard like us and actually earn something in his life. Eric is a womanizer of sorts, and believes he could have been a porn star in a past life. Crazy man.
I came home from work today, dead-dog tired. After a quick stop at a Donair shoppe (at Jamies' request) I trudged in through our door, got nekked, and took a long, hot soak in the bath.
Well, I MEANT to have a long, hot soak in the bath...
Door bangs open, and Stephanie yells up at me from below. ''David! Somebody's here to see you! It's Scotty and Eric!'
I groaned inwardly. I JUST wanted to sleep man! Have a nice hot bath and go to bed until supper time.
I sped through my bath, certain that I'd be dragged out against my will to go sit in a bar for a few hours with these two guys.
Nope.
Came down, and they just wanted to say hi to me in person, and make plans for this weekend. I told 'em on Sunday that I have plans to be online, doing my thing until Rinni came on to chat with me. But Saturdays' okay, I said. Sure! I got a hundred bucks that needs to be spent.
So, cool, cool... We sat for half an hour, bull-shitting, like good ol' times again. Sadly, Scott had to go (Steph was disappointed too, it's no secret she has the hots for him) back home to his 'wife'. Eric had dinner plans with some older woman or something, and I was/am really tired, too tired to go out and enjoy myself.
Once they left, I sighed a breath of relief. Friends are just too crazy to deal with at times. People change, ideas change, and situations change. I'm glad we're still good friends and all, but I'm not like who I used to be anymore. I changed, in many ways for the better, in others, for the worst. Some ways, I'm still the same ol' guy I used to be.
I may not have a reason or purpose to my life, but I have people I'm living for now. I can't completely disregard myself like I used to in the past. I've grown to love myself (some days hate myself even more, but only on my dark days), something that I haven't been able to do since I was a kid. I love other people, and don't want to hurt them in any way, especially by hurting myself. plus, now that I've tasted happiness again, and want to keep on getting it, my mindset is totally different from what it was in the past.
Today at work.
Imagine a giant metal box, with holes in it. Not just any holes. Imagine millions of holes in it, like a salt-and-pepper shaker has holes.
My job today was: Run a long shaft with a pipe cleaner tip on it through these holes with an electric drill, pull it back and forth inside these holes half a dozen times, and repeat the process a gazillion times.
I had to stand on a ledge, with many obstacles to bypass, as I dragged 8 feet of shaft back and forth in a 7 and a half foot wide ledge area.
I had to stand on my tippy-toes to reach many holes, so my back, shoulders, and arms are killing me, from doing that all day long.
I broke at least 8 of the custom-made pipe cleaner heads that screwed into the shaft today. I worked so steady that the metal actually heated up to the point and broke off, from all the spinning and work I put in.
Not quite done, so I have to go back tomorrow and finish it. Unless, of course, something even worse pops up, then I get to do that instead!
This blog is distracting me from Rinni right now. One last few things to post about, then I'm outta here!
Today, someone wrote in the dust on the side of my truck.
David [Heart] Cigi.
I do not LOVE Cigi!
I have told her that I think she's unbelievably cute and all, but that I'm 'in love with someone else'...
SOMEBODY is playing match-maker! Grrr...
Oh, Cigi is my bosses niece from B.C.. She works with us at Sherritt, and lives with Gary, the fat bastard who makes me work on weekends.
K, I'll post later. Rinni is typing an epic conversation with me today. it's like 10am right now over there in Australia. Gotta go peeps! Cyaz!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
A block of ice fell on me!!! X_x
O_o
So, yeah. I'll get to the ice part in a bit. Gotta keep ya in suspense! ^_^
Today, early this morning, my dear, sweet Rinni talked to me yet again on our private Yahoo! channel.
Despite all of her problems and unique challenges, she chooses to just be herself and be as best as she can be, and assures me that in this world of ours there are still good people to look forward to meeting one day.
I hope she's doing good with her Security prospects, and gets her licence back very soon. Rinni is one of a very, VERY few people that I trust enough to read my private blogs. Her and I have talked about nearly everything, and as much as I learn about her from each conversation, I know that even if I chatted with her every day for the rest of my life, I would never come close to learning everything about her that makes her so special.
We're gonna have a day to talk with each other this up-coming Sunday, and I'm really looking forward to it. It's hard, having opposite time-zones and conflicting schedules, to maintain certain times to talk to each other. It's even harder to make and maintain online or distance relationships.
However, I have made a very good online friend, and I will continue to enjoy our friendship for as long as I can. She and I can e-mail, blog, or instant message each other whenever we want. It's just, we'll both have to wait several hours between replies, unless we instant message each other on one of our cross-over points, like when I'm about to go to bed, and she's just waking up for the day.
I should tell ya all what I did at work today.
I left home, very tired, and upset to leave a willing-to-chat Rinni behind. Still, I have a job to do, and only I can get certain thigns done.
Jamie and I went to work, so far the day was okay.
I got paired up with Owen today.
Owen, today, was hung-over from the night before, reeked of stale booze, and I'm pretty sure was doped up before coming in this morning. His eyes were half-closed, simple things like getting tasks done in sequence seemed hard for him to do. It's like, trying to re-explain to someone that already knows the procedure how and in what steps we're supposed to do our jobs.
Evaluate the task to be done, go get a work permit, get the tools, set-up for the job, do it, put shit away, sign off permits, and go on to the next job.
This morning, right off the bat, we had to go and move a fridge out of one of the buildings on our site. The Ammonia plant, where they refine and process ammonia (NH3), was getting prepared for a big Asbestos removal project in one of their sections. Happens to be a hallway that leads to their lunch-room and locker rooms. Our job today was to move a fridge and a microwave out of their lunch-room, and put it into an office somewhere.
Owen just couldn't move from step to step today. We had to get boxes, cardboard boxes, to put food into for transport. We can't haul around a full fridge of half-rotten food. He just stood there, a dazed and stupid look on his stoned face today, and it took him up to two minutes to begin moving again after he stopped to think about what we had to do next. Today I had to be the leader again, just like in the old days, when I alone had to drag scum and rejects along and baby-sit them all day at work.
Anyways, besides his laziness, being hung-over and stoned, and his normal stupidity, we did our tasks.
We emptied all the rotten food from the fridge into boxes. Please note that we can't toss out any of the obviously rotten stuff, because it all belongs to the crew that uses the fridge. Go figure!
I got him motivated enough to kinda help me, and we set up a temporary kitchen in this office for the crew to store food (and mold) at work. Very gross. Tupperware containers can still leak fluids folks, and believe me, it isn't pleasant. ^_^
After, Owen and I had to go repair a broken steam-line. Someone dumped a pile of snow into a ditch, where the old steam-line was laying, and the weight of the snow crushed the rubber hose, trapping the steam. Now, if it's cold out, and the steam can't flow, the steam will gather up at the end of the hose and start to freeze. The entire line was frozen. Without a work truck today (I can't use personal vehicles on the actual chemical plant) we walked back and forth across our plant and I carried huge rolls of steam-line to the job location. We got the boss to order us a bunch of steam-line fittings and a few new screw-drivers and stuff too, for the job.
I tied the new replacement steam-line into the steam source, hooked everything up, and turned on the steam at half-full power. The pressure in the line sure is a doozy! Hopefully it'll be enough to keep up with the ice growth that's happening right now. With the recent nice weather now turning cold again, there's a lot of water in our ditches, which is freezing up as I speak. If the culverts and drainage tunnels ice up, and the ice melts again, the water will have no where to go, and will flood onto the roads. We're hoping my quick repair/by-pass job will be enough to keep things flowing soon.
Last job for the day. Climb a cooling tower and steam away/chip away ice.
This cooling tower is fairly tall, and has bus-sized chunks of ice dangling from it.
Well, Owen and I chipped away at the ice that was on top of the cat-walks on top of the tower. Still, huge bus-sized chunks were dangling from underneath the tower frame and girders, threatening to fall onto a little pump-shack located right underneath the tower.
Me, I went down, and climbed on top of this little shack. I took a pick-axe, and started chopping off little bar-fridge-sized chunks of ice. Chop, chop, chop, all afternoon. I removed a LOT of ice to be truthful.
Near the end of the day, I whacked one large piece the wrong way, and it slid down this car-sized tower/pillar of ice, smoking me right in my chest. The piece of ice was a good 500 pounds, I kid you not. It was a LARGE chunk.
I'm very lucky. It didn't knock me over or off the little shack, but it almost struck my face, something that, unlike my chest, wouldn't be able to take a blow like that. It slid into me, I went 'OOF!', and it slid/bounced down off of me, onto the ground below. It hit my right-hand ring finger as it fell, and my hand went numb from the strike. I called it quits after that, gathered up my tools, signed off my permits, and told Owen we'd finish it up tomorrow. Owen again wasn't much help today, and I ended up doing nearly all of the work myself.
One guy at work, some temp guy, got canned yesterday. He's the guy, the new dip-shit, who's been stealing my spot in the lunch room. I've had to move him many times now, and explain to him that us 'established core crew members' have all earned our spots, and that a temporary worker like him should be lucky to even be allowed to share our lunch room with us. I've smashed his lunch bag around, moved it to a table besides mine, even argued with him about it before. This guy is completely rock-stupid. He doesn't listen to the boss, he doesn't listen to the other crew mates, and he's ignorant to boot. The boss finally got tired of all the complaints against him, and his stupidity, so he fired him. Good riddance. Only 'I' may sit with Jamie, at 'our' table! ^_^
I got called down to our South Gate Security today. An 'anonymous tipster' tipped off the fact that at work I carry a knife.
I do, in fact, carry a blade at work. It's required.
Now, the only guy who EVER questioned my knife, and if I could have it, is dipshit, the one I just mentioned about. I told him twice, yes, in our safety handbook, chocked FULL of Sherritt Rules, that it is indeed permissable for me to carry a knife. Work related knives ARE allowed on site.
So, I went to security and talked with Hope, the late-20's woman who works there. What a sweety.
I walked in, whipped it out, talked and discussed the issue with her. She was hesitant about it, so she called her superior from the back. He came out from his office, took one look, and laughed. Insulators are allowed to carry butcher knives from home, that's what they use to cut their insulation pieces with. Pat, the guy who laughed, asked me what I use it for. I use my knife to cut open sand and salt bags, cut rope, steamline, tarps, etc.. He told Hope that it was okay for me to keep my blade.
They did not once even mention anything at all about a big no-no I did today. I haven't shaved my beard or anything in over three days. It's a rule that we're s'posed to be shaved, 'cuz if we need to, we have to be able to put on a gas mask and have a perfect seal on our face. Facial hair prevents that. Nope, not one word out of them. Once again Demon Dave gets away with murder.
No, my chest does not hurt. My finger is fine now, and I'm all cleaned up after sweating and working hard at work all day long.
I'm just tired, so very very tired...
Oh yeah, 'Happy Birthday Shawn' was just here, just to say hello and stuff. Him and Tony (My half-brother, almost 18) were chatting about Warcraft. Pfft, stupid game... ^_^
Luvs ya all. I'll update again soon. Just wanted to talk about work, is all.
So, yeah. I'll get to the ice part in a bit. Gotta keep ya in suspense! ^_^
Today, early this morning, my dear, sweet Rinni talked to me yet again on our private Yahoo! channel.
Despite all of her problems and unique challenges, she chooses to just be herself and be as best as she can be, and assures me that in this world of ours there are still good people to look forward to meeting one day.
I hope she's doing good with her Security prospects, and gets her licence back very soon. Rinni is one of a very, VERY few people that I trust enough to read my private blogs. Her and I have talked about nearly everything, and as much as I learn about her from each conversation, I know that even if I chatted with her every day for the rest of my life, I would never come close to learning everything about her that makes her so special.
We're gonna have a day to talk with each other this up-coming Sunday, and I'm really looking forward to it. It's hard, having opposite time-zones and conflicting schedules, to maintain certain times to talk to each other. It's even harder to make and maintain online or distance relationships.
However, I have made a very good online friend, and I will continue to enjoy our friendship for as long as I can. She and I can e-mail, blog, or instant message each other whenever we want. It's just, we'll both have to wait several hours between replies, unless we instant message each other on one of our cross-over points, like when I'm about to go to bed, and she's just waking up for the day.
I should tell ya all what I did at work today.
I left home, very tired, and upset to leave a willing-to-chat Rinni behind. Still, I have a job to do, and only I can get certain thigns done.
Jamie and I went to work, so far the day was okay.
I got paired up with Owen today.
Owen, today, was hung-over from the night before, reeked of stale booze, and I'm pretty sure was doped up before coming in this morning. His eyes were half-closed, simple things like getting tasks done in sequence seemed hard for him to do. It's like, trying to re-explain to someone that already knows the procedure how and in what steps we're supposed to do our jobs.
Evaluate the task to be done, go get a work permit, get the tools, set-up for the job, do it, put shit away, sign off permits, and go on to the next job.
This morning, right off the bat, we had to go and move a fridge out of one of the buildings on our site. The Ammonia plant, where they refine and process ammonia (NH3), was getting prepared for a big Asbestos removal project in one of their sections. Happens to be a hallway that leads to their lunch-room and locker rooms. Our job today was to move a fridge and a microwave out of their lunch-room, and put it into an office somewhere.
Owen just couldn't move from step to step today. We had to get boxes, cardboard boxes, to put food into for transport. We can't haul around a full fridge of half-rotten food. He just stood there, a dazed and stupid look on his stoned face today, and it took him up to two minutes to begin moving again after he stopped to think about what we had to do next. Today I had to be the leader again, just like in the old days, when I alone had to drag scum and rejects along and baby-sit them all day at work.
Anyways, besides his laziness, being hung-over and stoned, and his normal stupidity, we did our tasks.
We emptied all the rotten food from the fridge into boxes. Please note that we can't toss out any of the obviously rotten stuff, because it all belongs to the crew that uses the fridge. Go figure!
I got him motivated enough to kinda help me, and we set up a temporary kitchen in this office for the crew to store food (and mold) at work. Very gross. Tupperware containers can still leak fluids folks, and believe me, it isn't pleasant. ^_^
After, Owen and I had to go repair a broken steam-line. Someone dumped a pile of snow into a ditch, where the old steam-line was laying, and the weight of the snow crushed the rubber hose, trapping the steam. Now, if it's cold out, and the steam can't flow, the steam will gather up at the end of the hose and start to freeze. The entire line was frozen. Without a work truck today (I can't use personal vehicles on the actual chemical plant) we walked back and forth across our plant and I carried huge rolls of steam-line to the job location. We got the boss to order us a bunch of steam-line fittings and a few new screw-drivers and stuff too, for the job.
I tied the new replacement steam-line into the steam source, hooked everything up, and turned on the steam at half-full power. The pressure in the line sure is a doozy! Hopefully it'll be enough to keep up with the ice growth that's happening right now. With the recent nice weather now turning cold again, there's a lot of water in our ditches, which is freezing up as I speak. If the culverts and drainage tunnels ice up, and the ice melts again, the water will have no where to go, and will flood onto the roads. We're hoping my quick repair/by-pass job will be enough to keep things flowing soon.
Last job for the day. Climb a cooling tower and steam away/chip away ice.
This cooling tower is fairly tall, and has bus-sized chunks of ice dangling from it.
Well, Owen and I chipped away at the ice that was on top of the cat-walks on top of the tower. Still, huge bus-sized chunks were dangling from underneath the tower frame and girders, threatening to fall onto a little pump-shack located right underneath the tower.
Me, I went down, and climbed on top of this little shack. I took a pick-axe, and started chopping off little bar-fridge-sized chunks of ice. Chop, chop, chop, all afternoon. I removed a LOT of ice to be truthful.
Near the end of the day, I whacked one large piece the wrong way, and it slid down this car-sized tower/pillar of ice, smoking me right in my chest. The piece of ice was a good 500 pounds, I kid you not. It was a LARGE chunk.
I'm very lucky. It didn't knock me over or off the little shack, but it almost struck my face, something that, unlike my chest, wouldn't be able to take a blow like that. It slid into me, I went 'OOF!', and it slid/bounced down off of me, onto the ground below. It hit my right-hand ring finger as it fell, and my hand went numb from the strike. I called it quits after that, gathered up my tools, signed off my permits, and told Owen we'd finish it up tomorrow. Owen again wasn't much help today, and I ended up doing nearly all of the work myself.
One guy at work, some temp guy, got canned yesterday. He's the guy, the new dip-shit, who's been stealing my spot in the lunch room. I've had to move him many times now, and explain to him that us 'established core crew members' have all earned our spots, and that a temporary worker like him should be lucky to even be allowed to share our lunch room with us. I've smashed his lunch bag around, moved it to a table besides mine, even argued with him about it before. This guy is completely rock-stupid. He doesn't listen to the boss, he doesn't listen to the other crew mates, and he's ignorant to boot. The boss finally got tired of all the complaints against him, and his stupidity, so he fired him. Good riddance. Only 'I' may sit with Jamie, at 'our' table! ^_^
I got called down to our South Gate Security today. An 'anonymous tipster' tipped off the fact that at work I carry a knife.
I do, in fact, carry a blade at work. It's required.
Now, the only guy who EVER questioned my knife, and if I could have it, is dipshit, the one I just mentioned about. I told him twice, yes, in our safety handbook, chocked FULL of Sherritt Rules, that it is indeed permissable for me to carry a knife. Work related knives ARE allowed on site.
So, I went to security and talked with Hope, the late-20's woman who works there. What a sweety.
I walked in, whipped it out, talked and discussed the issue with her. She was hesitant about it, so she called her superior from the back. He came out from his office, took one look, and laughed. Insulators are allowed to carry butcher knives from home, that's what they use to cut their insulation pieces with. Pat, the guy who laughed, asked me what I use it for. I use my knife to cut open sand and salt bags, cut rope, steamline, tarps, etc.. He told Hope that it was okay for me to keep my blade.
They did not once even mention anything at all about a big no-no I did today. I haven't shaved my beard or anything in over three days. It's a rule that we're s'posed to be shaved, 'cuz if we need to, we have to be able to put on a gas mask and have a perfect seal on our face. Facial hair prevents that. Nope, not one word out of them. Once again Demon Dave gets away with murder.
No, my chest does not hurt. My finger is fine now, and I'm all cleaned up after sweating and working hard at work all day long.
I'm just tired, so very very tired...
Oh yeah, 'Happy Birthday Shawn' was just here, just to say hello and stuff. Him and Tony (My half-brother, almost 18) were chatting about Warcraft. Pfft, stupid game... ^_^
Luvs ya all. I'll update again soon. Just wanted to talk about work, is all.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Happy Birthday, Shawn Hale!!! n_n
Happy Birthday, to you!
Happy Birthday, to you!
Happy Birthday, dear Shawny Boy!!!
Happy Birthday, to you!
[Imaginary paper horns toot and blare in your ear, as a very non-chalant Shawn blows out cheap Dollar-store wax candles, all 25 of them, on his home-made coin-stuffed chocolate-with-icing birthday cake.]
So, it's Shawn Hales 25th Birthday today. An important step for any person. An ENTIRE quarter of a century old.
Wow.
I'm not sure if I should feel sorry for ya, or if I should congratulate ya. Heh heh.
Gratz man! You made it this far! >_<
Today is Family Day, also, a Monday.
We {I, Jamie, Chris and Richard [Funny how those three are all McDavids, and I'm the only one from my half of the family that got an invite]) all went last night (yesterday) to Shawns place for dinner.
We had: -Cooked Ham, in slices that fell apart under your fork. Mmm...
-Scalloped Potatoes, minus the Scallops! >_<
-Creamed Corn.
-Veg-edibles. Yes, including pickles for the pickle-freak, Chris.
-Chocolate Cake.
I haven't been to Shawns house since nearly an entire year ago. His parents forgot who I was!!!
Inside we made friends again, caught up on stuff, and I thouroughly explored his house, making fun of the fact that he could fit our entire family in there, along with them. Why his family consists of just three people astounds me. We had at least nine at one point, when everyone was living together.
Found out almost all of Shawns cats are diabetic, and have to take needles. Cats that have to take needles! WTF! Also, all of his cats came from animal shelters.
-
Shawn got Guitar Hero 3, for the Playstation 2, for his Birthday. It was super sweet!
We all went down to his room (yes, he's a basement dweller like me) and just kind of hanged out for a few hours after our meal.
We all took turns playing his new game, Jamie drew an anime picture of her and her brother Chris dueling in a fight to the death! Shawn looked up stuff on YouTube, with Richard watching and voicing his own opinions on stuff. Me, I played games, talked, and hanged out as best as I could.
Funny, we talked about so many things, that suddenly I came up as a topic, sexually, and how deeply Jamie started blushing. Huh. The other guys were laughing too hard to notice. Even funnier, I cannot for the love of god remember at all what exactly was said! O_o
-
Eventually, it got late, and it was time to go.
Shawn drove us home, but before we left...
...I snuck a Fifty under his pillow! I didn't tell him until I got home. There's no way he can refuse it now, heh heh!
Chris stayed the night at my place, after borrowing Dynasty Warriors 5 for the Playstation from Shawn. Me, I played World of Warcraft for a bit, then went to bed.
(Oh, umm... Yeah... Chris talked me into playing it. Again. So... I am embarrassed to be playing it again. On the plus side, I'm still a pro!)
Today.
Right now, today, like I said, is Family Day.
Nobody is hanging out at all with each other. No one is home really. They won't be back until supper time.
No one here feels like cooking chicken, so I tossed in a Fifty for pizza. Guess we're having pizza tonight. Heh.
-
The cats are shedding, badly, since it's getting nice and warm out. Still lots of snow, but it's consistently been nice outside.
Despite my efforts to brush our cats, they're still puking out hairballs. Grossness level of 10.
-
I got called in to work on Saturday night, a night I was slated to take Stephanie out for an ight at B.P.s in the restaurant/lounge. Had to manwatch a guy doing work in a vessel called a clave, a large sausage-shaped cauldron. The guy was an inspector, making sure the rotors for some new motors were aligned right, and that they passed the vibration test.
Today, early this morning, the boss tried gettting me to go again on my day off to go to work. I said no. Heh, I need my days off, every one that I can.
Did I mention that I originally only intended to work out here at Sherritt as a part-time labourer? No? Well, I did mean to mention it... Guess I got suckered into a full-time job somehow. [Shrugs in defeat.]
The day before and during Valentines' Day, I was extremely moody and miserable.
The day after, I was 180%.
I think I'm extremely bi-polar, and I might just go see a doctor about it. Maybe if I can feel good all the time (not stoned or sedated) I'll live my life better.
Who knows? I just gotta get motivated to go see the doc. Maybe it's all psychological.
I don't know what else to post about, except for one last thing.
I'm glad Rinni finally fixed her Trillian problem. No word of her for a week was very sad.
Today, we had a great long talk, the first in a while now. So, everything seems cool again.
Except for the fact that I have to work tomorrow. JUST when I was starting to mellow out and relax from this weekend! Now I gotta work again? Aw man!
Luv ya all. Cyaz! ^_^
Happy Birthday, to you!
Happy Birthday, dear Shawny Boy!!!
Happy Birthday, to you!
[Imaginary paper horns toot and blare in your ear, as a very non-chalant Shawn blows out cheap Dollar-store wax candles, all 25 of them, on his home-made coin-stuffed chocolate-with-icing birthday cake.]
So, it's Shawn Hales 25th Birthday today. An important step for any person. An ENTIRE quarter of a century old.
Wow.
I'm not sure if I should feel sorry for ya, or if I should congratulate ya. Heh heh.
Gratz man! You made it this far! >_<
Today is Family Day, also, a Monday.
We {I, Jamie, Chris and Richard [Funny how those three are all McDavids, and I'm the only one from my half of the family that got an invite]) all went last night (yesterday) to Shawns place for dinner.
We had: -Cooked Ham, in slices that fell apart under your fork. Mmm...
-Scalloped Potatoes, minus the Scallops! >_<
-Creamed Corn.
-Veg-edibles. Yes, including pickles for the pickle-freak, Chris.
-Chocolate Cake.
I haven't been to Shawns house since nearly an entire year ago. His parents forgot who I was!!!
Inside we made friends again, caught up on stuff, and I thouroughly explored his house, making fun of the fact that he could fit our entire family in there, along with them. Why his family consists of just three people astounds me. We had at least nine at one point, when everyone was living together.
Found out almost all of Shawns cats are diabetic, and have to take needles. Cats that have to take needles! WTF! Also, all of his cats came from animal shelters.
-
Shawn got Guitar Hero 3, for the Playstation 2, for his Birthday. It was super sweet!
We all went down to his room (yes, he's a basement dweller like me) and just kind of hanged out for a few hours after our meal.
We all took turns playing his new game, Jamie drew an anime picture of her and her brother Chris dueling in a fight to the death! Shawn looked up stuff on YouTube, with Richard watching and voicing his own opinions on stuff. Me, I played games, talked, and hanged out as best as I could.
Funny, we talked about so many things, that suddenly I came up as a topic, sexually, and how deeply Jamie started blushing. Huh. The other guys were laughing too hard to notice. Even funnier, I cannot for the love of god remember at all what exactly was said! O_o
-
Eventually, it got late, and it was time to go.
Shawn drove us home, but before we left...
...I snuck a Fifty under his pillow! I didn't tell him until I got home. There's no way he can refuse it now, heh heh!
Chris stayed the night at my place, after borrowing Dynasty Warriors 5 for the Playstation from Shawn. Me, I played World of Warcraft for a bit, then went to bed.
(Oh, umm... Yeah... Chris talked me into playing it. Again. So... I am embarrassed to be playing it again. On the plus side, I'm still a pro!)
Today.
Right now, today, like I said, is Family Day.
Nobody is hanging out at all with each other. No one is home really. They won't be back until supper time.
No one here feels like cooking chicken, so I tossed in a Fifty for pizza. Guess we're having pizza tonight. Heh.
-
The cats are shedding, badly, since it's getting nice and warm out. Still lots of snow, but it's consistently been nice outside.
Despite my efforts to brush our cats, they're still puking out hairballs. Grossness level of 10.
-
I got called in to work on Saturday night, a night I was slated to take Stephanie out for an ight at B.P.s in the restaurant/lounge. Had to manwatch a guy doing work in a vessel called a clave, a large sausage-shaped cauldron. The guy was an inspector, making sure the rotors for some new motors were aligned right, and that they passed the vibration test.
Today, early this morning, the boss tried gettting me to go again on my day off to go to work. I said no. Heh, I need my days off, every one that I can.
Did I mention that I originally only intended to work out here at Sherritt as a part-time labourer? No? Well, I did mean to mention it... Guess I got suckered into a full-time job somehow. [Shrugs in defeat.]
The day before and during Valentines' Day, I was extremely moody and miserable.
The day after, I was 180%.
I think I'm extremely bi-polar, and I might just go see a doctor about it. Maybe if I can feel good all the time (not stoned or sedated) I'll live my life better.
Who knows? I just gotta get motivated to go see the doc. Maybe it's all psychological.
I don't know what else to post about, except for one last thing.
I'm glad Rinni finally fixed her Trillian problem. No word of her for a week was very sad.
Today, we had a great long talk, the first in a while now. So, everything seems cool again.
Except for the fact that I have to work tomorrow. JUST when I was starting to mellow out and relax from this weekend! Now I gotta work again? Aw man!
Luv ya all. Cyaz! ^_^
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Long Blog Rant: I Hate Owen. Grr!
I swear to god, I'm gonna get arrested for murder soon.
OWEN... That guy from work who I at first thought was cool. Oh-ho-ho-hooo...
How I HATE him...
First, picture this. A slack-jawed, skinny farmer boy. Sure, he looks attractive, but that's all he's got.
He's WHINY... Oh god. His past may not have been pretty, buy jeez, leave it be. Quit dragging a dead cat around by it's tail.
He constantly moans and bemoans about how UNFAIR life can be. Cry me a river. How he chose to move away from his rich parents and supportive brother, to live on his own. How he chose to move to my worlds'-end town, and slave away with us for a dead-beat company. Boo-hoo.
He's constantly saying how he just needs his chance to PROVE that he can do a high-paying, low-input job, and how good he'll be at it.
Trouble is folks, is that he won't commit to anything, or put any effort into it.
He fails to work hard at his current job. He cries all the time, and he slacks off. He constantly abuses the rights we earned ourselves, by talking on cellphones while working, wasting bosses time by asking redundant questions that don't apply to anything, and going for extra smoke breaks during designated work periods.
He has smoke dope at work, and I have even seen him do it. Unfortunately, that was when I thought he was worthy of being my friend, so I never ratted him out. I'm just itching for a chance to crush him...
He's shot-gunning applications out everywhere, only applying to jobs that give him more than the 18 dollars an hour that he doesn't deserve (I make 17 an hour). He's annoying big-shots at work, trying to find out when they'll hire contractors to become full-time Sherritt Labour Pool employees. He doesn't realize that Sherritt doesn't want him, because of his attitude and poor work ethics. Why we even have him out here is still a mystery to me. An 8 year old girl would work harder, better, and more honestly than he would.
Today, at work, I was in a GREAT mood! Really, I was.
I was full of energy, ready to work and stay focused. Here comes Owen though, dragging his sorry ass all day long...
We got sent to do an office move, moving folders and books back and forth. Our crew leader wouldn't buy us any cardboard boxes to move those office peoples shit around, so we had to go dumpster diving for decent boxes to use.
Yes, I bitched a little about that.
Owen says, ''David, I hate your fucking attitude today. You're always whining about shit like this.''
Oh, I could be arrested for repeating the most pleasant and innermost thoughts of what I wanted to do to him that were playing through my mind.
I argued with him for a bit, proving in the end that I am justified for bitching about the lack of proper tools, and the lackadasial attitude our crew leader constantly displays about us needing to be professional and needing to have proper things at hand. Like boxes for fucking books. Clean boxes, not ones which are half-soaking wet from the snow, and dirty from other garbage.
Owen is constantly lazy. We pull up to a mess or a job with our work truck, and we'll all hop out, ready to go. He'll stay within the truck, fucking text-messaging one of the thousand women he sleeps with. Fuckin' lazy asshole...
He then cries, saying, ''Oh, well, if you guys would have waited for me...''
No! No Owen, we CAN'T wait for you... We're here to WORK, not fuck around. Get off your fucking ass, bleed from your asshole from the hernias we all suffer from, and get shit done. Now. We can't wait ten, fifteen, or twenty minutes for you to screw around and type some inane message to some bitch that you fuck around with.
I have to put up with him at work. There's very few males or females on our team that can do the stuff I can do with my body. I'm not very strong, to be honest, but I can sure suffer and fake it well. I can lift and dig, chop and shove, twist and straighten a million things at work. We have to be able to move furniture, lift pallets, do heavy lifts for lab equipment in the Analytical Services building (machines weighing 500 pounds or more), and be able to shovel/chop/dig for 8-10 hours straight, and repeat as required all week long.
Although he rarely does anything useful, the fact that he COULD possibly do these things keeps him somewhat useful. And hence, is the reason he's staying at Sherritt with us.
Oh-ho-ho-ho...
Jamie. I love her. As a friend, a sister, and a whole lot more.
Owen. He's got his dirty eye on her...
He had once in the past talked to her about moving out with her. At that time, like me, Jamie thought he might be okay.
Thank god that now, she hates him as much as I do.
Owen brought up the subject of him and her moving out together again, to rent a fucking house together.
Jamie is so deliciously evil at times. ^_^
She innocently said a few possible hints that she'd consider it strongly. She has told me in private that there'd be no way in hell that she'd live with him. She hates him.
-
What would Jamie be to Owen? Number 201 on his fuck-list? Fuck that. How disrespectful, to any woman.
Owen has been bragging about how he's screwing a 'cougar', a much older woman. She's in her 40s. Owen is my age, about 26.
He told me a story today, of how psycho this cougar was. He said that he was busy fucking some other girl in his apartment on top of the bar where he lives, and the cougar woman was banging at his door, mad that he was still seeing other women.
What a loser. To think I was jealous of him.
Owen says he had to call the cops to scare her away. Still...
I had a few snippy chats with Owen today. He said that he didn't know anyone out here in the Fort, and that the only people he knew really were his co-workers. Buddy, you don't know me... I told you a few things about me, things I now regret saying to you, but that doesn't mean you know me at all. My own mother doesn't know me.
So, just because he doesn't know anyone out here, makes it okay for him to ask Jamie to move out with him?
I told him that maybe he should ask one of the other 200 fucking people he'd slept with to move out with him. He laughed at that, and said that wouldn't work.
He said there's one girl he sees all the time, and that he kind of likes her. But clearly not enough to love her.
I asked him why he doesn't just focus on her, after he tells me that living with her (Danielle is her name) wouldn't work. He had tried in the past, but she gets mad at him for seeing other women.
I told him maybe he should just leave her then, if she gets mad at him for his lifestyle, and continue to live as he lives. He said, ''If you ever seen her naked, you'd agree that you couldn't leave her.''
I replied, ''If she's so hot then, why are you seeing other women?''
''Because I like women. A LOT.''
I won't drive him home anymore. Fuck him. I don't wanna talk to him, I don't wanna see him, I don't want his presence in my life. He disgusts me, tremendously, and he annoys Jamie as well. Nobody on our crew likes him, and everyone complains against him based on his lazy attitude, his disgusting womanizing habits, and his lack of committment and work attitude.
Maybe we can drive him away. Our plant is having a shut-down soon, meaning that, well... I'll explain it in an easy-to-understand method.
Imagine your stove. Now, pretend that you have to replace all the burners on it.
The job will take many months, and you still have to feed your family and yourself.
Imagine cutting back to just one burner, while other people constantly repair, tweak and trim, and fix your other burners. Your oven is on a shut-down, it's getting worked on but still has to produce stuff.
Same thing at our plant. We have to keep processing chemicals and stuff, but also make repairs and additions to the current process systems.
We're gonna be super-busy during our shut-down this spring. Lots of over-time for David here, and lots and lots of work to do.
I aim, AIM, to just DRIVE him away by the sheer work load. I will refuse to carry him at that critical time, when workers are plenty, and people like him are expendable. I will make sure that when he thinks I'll do his work for him, that he alone will have to shoulder my usual burdens, and he will crumble. He's a very weak man, in spirit, and he will break. I am an evil son of a bitch, but he definately deserves this treachery. No one on our crew is going to support him. He can either change and grow to meet the needs for our crew, or he will wither and fall behind. Fuck him. He can go back home, and fuck his hundreds of girlfriends back in B.C.. (Don't worry Aunty, he doesn't live near anywhere close to you in B.C..).
Rant is over. Oh, there's no room for all of my good things yet. Ah, I'll post it later.
Got my truck to work again at least. ^_^
So, if my next e-mail is from prison, don't worry. Our legal system lets people out faster for murder than if you were to get caught for stealing stuff.
Just kidding, but man, I might definately get charged for assault and battery on that friggin' kid...
Next post will be happy. Just had to spew his ugliness out of my life. Didn't mean to stain my blog...
OWEN... That guy from work who I at first thought was cool. Oh-ho-ho-hooo...
How I HATE him...
First, picture this. A slack-jawed, skinny farmer boy. Sure, he looks attractive, but that's all he's got.
He's WHINY... Oh god. His past may not have been pretty, buy jeez, leave it be. Quit dragging a dead cat around by it's tail.
He constantly moans and bemoans about how UNFAIR life can be. Cry me a river. How he chose to move away from his rich parents and supportive brother, to live on his own. How he chose to move to my worlds'-end town, and slave away with us for a dead-beat company. Boo-hoo.
He's constantly saying how he just needs his chance to PROVE that he can do a high-paying, low-input job, and how good he'll be at it.
Trouble is folks, is that he won't commit to anything, or put any effort into it.
He fails to work hard at his current job. He cries all the time, and he slacks off. He constantly abuses the rights we earned ourselves, by talking on cellphones while working, wasting bosses time by asking redundant questions that don't apply to anything, and going for extra smoke breaks during designated work periods.
He has smoke dope at work, and I have even seen him do it. Unfortunately, that was when I thought he was worthy of being my friend, so I never ratted him out. I'm just itching for a chance to crush him...
He's shot-gunning applications out everywhere, only applying to jobs that give him more than the 18 dollars an hour that he doesn't deserve (I make 17 an hour). He's annoying big-shots at work, trying to find out when they'll hire contractors to become full-time Sherritt Labour Pool employees. He doesn't realize that Sherritt doesn't want him, because of his attitude and poor work ethics. Why we even have him out here is still a mystery to me. An 8 year old girl would work harder, better, and more honestly than he would.
Today, at work, I was in a GREAT mood! Really, I was.
I was full of energy, ready to work and stay focused. Here comes Owen though, dragging his sorry ass all day long...
We got sent to do an office move, moving folders and books back and forth. Our crew leader wouldn't buy us any cardboard boxes to move those office peoples shit around, so we had to go dumpster diving for decent boxes to use.
Yes, I bitched a little about that.
Owen says, ''David, I hate your fucking attitude today. You're always whining about shit like this.''
Oh, I could be arrested for repeating the most pleasant and innermost thoughts of what I wanted to do to him that were playing through my mind.
I argued with him for a bit, proving in the end that I am justified for bitching about the lack of proper tools, and the lackadasial attitude our crew leader constantly displays about us needing to be professional and needing to have proper things at hand. Like boxes for fucking books. Clean boxes, not ones which are half-soaking wet from the snow, and dirty from other garbage.
Owen is constantly lazy. We pull up to a mess or a job with our work truck, and we'll all hop out, ready to go. He'll stay within the truck, fucking text-messaging one of the thousand women he sleeps with. Fuckin' lazy asshole...
He then cries, saying, ''Oh, well, if you guys would have waited for me...''
No! No Owen, we CAN'T wait for you... We're here to WORK, not fuck around. Get off your fucking ass, bleed from your asshole from the hernias we all suffer from, and get shit done. Now. We can't wait ten, fifteen, or twenty minutes for you to screw around and type some inane message to some bitch that you fuck around with.
I have to put up with him at work. There's very few males or females on our team that can do the stuff I can do with my body. I'm not very strong, to be honest, but I can sure suffer and fake it well. I can lift and dig, chop and shove, twist and straighten a million things at work. We have to be able to move furniture, lift pallets, do heavy lifts for lab equipment in the Analytical Services building (machines weighing 500 pounds or more), and be able to shovel/chop/dig for 8-10 hours straight, and repeat as required all week long.
Although he rarely does anything useful, the fact that he COULD possibly do these things keeps him somewhat useful. And hence, is the reason he's staying at Sherritt with us.
Oh-ho-ho-ho...
Jamie. I love her. As a friend, a sister, and a whole lot more.
Owen. He's got his dirty eye on her...
He had once in the past talked to her about moving out with her. At that time, like me, Jamie thought he might be okay.
Thank god that now, she hates him as much as I do.
Owen brought up the subject of him and her moving out together again, to rent a fucking house together.
Jamie is so deliciously evil at times. ^_^
She innocently said a few possible hints that she'd consider it strongly. She has told me in private that there'd be no way in hell that she'd live with him. She hates him.
-
What would Jamie be to Owen? Number 201 on his fuck-list? Fuck that. How disrespectful, to any woman.
Owen has been bragging about how he's screwing a 'cougar', a much older woman. She's in her 40s. Owen is my age, about 26.
He told me a story today, of how psycho this cougar was. He said that he was busy fucking some other girl in his apartment on top of the bar where he lives, and the cougar woman was banging at his door, mad that he was still seeing other women.
What a loser. To think I was jealous of him.
Owen says he had to call the cops to scare her away. Still...
I had a few snippy chats with Owen today. He said that he didn't know anyone out here in the Fort, and that the only people he knew really were his co-workers. Buddy, you don't know me... I told you a few things about me, things I now regret saying to you, but that doesn't mean you know me at all. My own mother doesn't know me.
So, just because he doesn't know anyone out here, makes it okay for him to ask Jamie to move out with him?
I told him that maybe he should ask one of the other 200 fucking people he'd slept with to move out with him. He laughed at that, and said that wouldn't work.
He said there's one girl he sees all the time, and that he kind of likes her. But clearly not enough to love her.
I asked him why he doesn't just focus on her, after he tells me that living with her (Danielle is her name) wouldn't work. He had tried in the past, but she gets mad at him for seeing other women.
I told him maybe he should just leave her then, if she gets mad at him for his lifestyle, and continue to live as he lives. He said, ''If you ever seen her naked, you'd agree that you couldn't leave her.''
I replied, ''If she's so hot then, why are you seeing other women?''
''Because I like women. A LOT.''
I won't drive him home anymore. Fuck him. I don't wanna talk to him, I don't wanna see him, I don't want his presence in my life. He disgusts me, tremendously, and he annoys Jamie as well. Nobody on our crew likes him, and everyone complains against him based on his lazy attitude, his disgusting womanizing habits, and his lack of committment and work attitude.
Maybe we can drive him away. Our plant is having a shut-down soon, meaning that, well... I'll explain it in an easy-to-understand method.
Imagine your stove. Now, pretend that you have to replace all the burners on it.
The job will take many months, and you still have to feed your family and yourself.
Imagine cutting back to just one burner, while other people constantly repair, tweak and trim, and fix your other burners. Your oven is on a shut-down, it's getting worked on but still has to produce stuff.
Same thing at our plant. We have to keep processing chemicals and stuff, but also make repairs and additions to the current process systems.
We're gonna be super-busy during our shut-down this spring. Lots of over-time for David here, and lots and lots of work to do.
I aim, AIM, to just DRIVE him away by the sheer work load. I will refuse to carry him at that critical time, when workers are plenty, and people like him are expendable. I will make sure that when he thinks I'll do his work for him, that he alone will have to shoulder my usual burdens, and he will crumble. He's a very weak man, in spirit, and he will break. I am an evil son of a bitch, but he definately deserves this treachery. No one on our crew is going to support him. He can either change and grow to meet the needs for our crew, or he will wither and fall behind. Fuck him. He can go back home, and fuck his hundreds of girlfriends back in B.C.. (Don't worry Aunty, he doesn't live near anywhere close to you in B.C..).
Rant is over. Oh, there's no room for all of my good things yet. Ah, I'll post it later.
Got my truck to work again at least. ^_^
So, if my next e-mail is from prison, don't worry. Our legal system lets people out faster for murder than if you were to get caught for stealing stuff.
Just kidding, but man, I might definately get charged for assault and battery on that friggin' kid...
Next post will be happy. Just had to spew his ugliness out of my life. Didn't mean to stain my blog...
n_n
If this pic loads, it's a picture of me (in anime style) as a little boy.
Hee hee! n_n
Look at my cute little bum!
I had an artist make this for me.
The pencil-drawing was made by Stephanie, and is my boy character as a furry creature. Like a cat-girl, except, he's a bear-boy.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Sorry Aunt Laura!!!
Oops!
I just got an MSN message from my Aunt Laura. She's mad 'cuz I didn't update my blog since last Thursday!
O_o
Sumimasen! I'm sorry Auntie!!!
Alrighty then. Here we go.
Friday at work kind of sucked. I was outside again, like I was all week, chopping ice and shoveling hard packed snow. My shoulders are really sore from the constant and repetitive motions, and on top of things, ever since getting sick, I haven't really recovered my old energy levels yet. However...
On Friday night, I went out on my date with Jamies brother, Chris.
I walked to his place, a good 20 minute walk, and the cold outside was unbelievable! Wind chill brought the cold temp down to a blistering -37 degrees celcius. Not really a fun walk.
I made it alive to his house, and just walked in, since his father was sleeping on the couch. Still, his stupid chihuaha hybrid dog went crazy at me.
I went down to his room (they live in a 4-plex, a house that's split up and each corner suite has it's own kitchen, front door, and everything a bungalow house should have).
Chris was down there, and he had company. His older brother Richard, and his friend Dan.
Now, Richard has asbergers plus that hyper-mental-activity problem, and as much as we all love him, he can be accidentally annoying a lot of the time. He's smart, and mostly 'normal' by all other accounts. He just has a really nasally and annoying voice, he talks wayyy too fast, and his jokes are never timed right or funny. However, he's smart, and has a lot of our interests, such as gaming, music, anime, and some other things we do.
Dan... Now, I swear he's gay. Chris actually has a lot of gay friends, and that's weird, especially like his father he's extremely homophobic. Dan is a pretty boy, with short dirty-blond hair and pale blue eyes. He's shy but also assertive. I can say straightly that Dan is cute for a boy, but... Despite my own bi-sexual curiosities, he doesn't really do anything for me.
The boys were looking at videos on YouTube,watching specifically some gopher video. It was really lame and stupid, so much so that it was kind of funny...
We didn't want to walk for 25 minutes to get to Boston Pizza, especially with thehorrible wind and wind-chill outside. I ordered a cab (and strangely, stuttered nervously while doing so), and we eventually got off on our merry way.
Dan is 17, with no I.D.. Chris FORGOT his I.D. at home, so me and Richard (Rich) would be the only ones who could drink.
Instead of entering the lounge, we entered the restaurant half instead.
We got the back-corner booth, and we took our seats. Two booths away was a bunch of teeny-boppers, young girls from 16-19 in age.
We all ordered a lot of food, and tried a bunch of new drinks. Chris got mad at having no I.D., so I gave him enough cab fare to order two cab rides, just so he could get his card from home.
So, basically, I spent 20 bucks so he could go home and come back, so he could get me to buy him some alchohol. Lol at me!
We stayed out for a few hours. One of the staff guys there kept randomly yelling out 'Taco!' all night long, and I, in my crazy mind-thinking ways, replied every time loudly with 'Peso, peso, peso!'! (Marco, Polo!)
Cab rides cost me 40 bucks in all. The meals and drinks came to 139 bucks. Nearly a 200 dollar night for four guys to go out and have a little fun. I paid for the whole thing.
The next day, Saturday, I was SUPPOSED to go out with that John guy from work, to a Vietnamise Restaurant in Edmonton. However, since he's been sick lately, he never called me at all. I don't have his home number, but he's got mine.
I wasted Saturday, doing not much at home. Jamie disappeared all day long, to hang out with a girl co-worker named Cigi (see-jee).
Stephanie got me to go out shopping with her this weekend. We browsed one of the few last stores in our dying Fort Mall, and then went to that clothing store called Fields across town. Again, it was a cold and nasty day, and we walked. My touques are all at work or being run through the wash, so I froze my face on the way there.
We shopped around, and picked up a few things. I got a real nice black button-up shirt, and also a bright baby-blue girly touque for myself for the walk home. They didn't have scarves or guy touques at all, I swear!
Stephanie convinced me to buy her some underwear. Dark blue laced-ribbon up the sides underwear. She says she'll wear it. I just shrugged, and said 'sure...' to her, and tossed it in the basket.
After buying my mum some miniature camping flashlights (she collects miniatures) I paid for it all, and we walked home. Thank god I bought that touque!
Saturday night, Jamie came home, and zoned out from reality on the 'girls' computer, leaving me with no way to talk to her at all, even though I tried...
Saturday was the day before Stephanies and her boyfriends 6 month anniversary. She was upset because her boy-toy was avoiding her again, and he never called her, to say hi. Mark is supposed to call Steph and hang with her on Saturday nights.
Steph called around, and couldn't get Mark to answer. So she called up his friends, and discovered that Mark was having a party at his house. Steph asked for money for a cab ride, so I gave her 20 bucks, so she could get a return ride home. She went over to his place, confronted him face-to-face, and broke up with him for good.
I stayed up late that night, worried that Steph was out on her own this late at night. I was worried that she might actually start a fist fight with her boyfriend or something, or that she might not call for a cab to get home again safely.
Finally, very late at night, she walked in, upset.
I was able to get Jamie talking, and we both talked with Steph for a while. I tried to get Jamie to sit with Steph, so they could talk girl-talk about relationships, but Jamie just got all embarrassed and said she was still hung-over from hanging out with Cigi all day. So she nervously excused herself and said goodnight to us, and went to bed. It was really late at night...
I sat with Steph for a while, and she fell asleep on me while on the couch. I managed to sneak away, and went to bed on the other couch.
Sunday. Today, I was supposed to go get my truck battery, but I failed to do so. It's snowing today, and my mum was too busy to give me a cab ride today (Laurie drives cab and is also the dispatcher for Fort Taxi.).
I spent the majority of today doing laundry and looking up things on the internet. New massage skills, some videos on YouTube, played some forum games, and even worked with this guy from Great Britain on a mutual story-telling game that we made up.
I also managed to sneak onto the girls computer upstairs, and work my way through their countless programs. I figured out how to use their scanner for the first time, and uploaded some special pictures that Stephanie made for me.
[IMG]http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings.jpg[/IMG]
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings.jpg
[IMG]http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings_001.jpg[/IMG]
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings_001.jpg
[IMG]http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings_002.jpg[/IMG]
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings_002.jpg
[IMG]http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings_003.jpg[/IMG]
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings_003.jpg
If these links work, you may agree that they're all cute. The bear-boy is me, my character, as a furry 7 year old boy. The cat-girl is Stephanie.
For those curious, this is what my commissioned picture of my character, little David, looks like. Sorry, no full-sized version yet.
[IMG]http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Autumnbeardavid.png[/IMG]
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Autumnbeardavid.png
Right now Jamie went down the street to Johns house, where, his wife and some friends are hosting a 'toy' show. Jamies going to a party where women are all discussing and talking about sex toys. 4 days before Valentines' Day, hmm...
She's nervous about going, because there's a lot of people she's never met there before. I told her I can't go myself, because as a guy, I never got an invite. John is apparently out of the house tonight. I'm kind of disappointed that he never called me to go out with him...
I'm thinking right now. Wouldn't it be funny if Jamie got some 'pay-back' by buying ME a sex toy? I did, after all, buy her and the girls in our house this year at Christmas their very first sex toy.
Oh, I'd use it, for sure... ^_^
Yup, just doing chores and watched some T.V. today for a bit. Got pulled away from my MSN conversations all day long. Tomorrow is supposed to be a nicer day outside, so I'm gonna go to work and see if my truck starts up. The battery in it that's broken may actually work. I've had my trucks block-heater plugged in for over a week now, so I'm not worried about the oil and gears being frozen. If I can just get it to turn over and fire, I'll be happy. I could then be able to hobble my truck back to my place at least, where I can fix on it after getting my new battery.
My room is a disaster studio again. However, right now, I just don't care! My weekend was wayyy too short, and I wish I had another three days off from work.
I never did buy my digital camera yet, on account that I have no ride across town yet. Plus, I spent a lot of money this weekend on going out with my brothers and sister separately.
Meh, I'll update soon when I actually have something to write about. Laterz! >_<
I just got an MSN message from my Aunt Laura. She's mad 'cuz I didn't update my blog since last Thursday!
O_o
Sumimasen! I'm sorry Auntie!!!
Alrighty then. Here we go.
Friday at work kind of sucked. I was outside again, like I was all week, chopping ice and shoveling hard packed snow. My shoulders are really sore from the constant and repetitive motions, and on top of things, ever since getting sick, I haven't really recovered my old energy levels yet. However...
On Friday night, I went out on my date with Jamies brother, Chris.
I walked to his place, a good 20 minute walk, and the cold outside was unbelievable! Wind chill brought the cold temp down to a blistering -37 degrees celcius. Not really a fun walk.
I made it alive to his house, and just walked in, since his father was sleeping on the couch. Still, his stupid chihuaha hybrid dog went crazy at me.
I went down to his room (they live in a 4-plex, a house that's split up and each corner suite has it's own kitchen, front door, and everything a bungalow house should have).
Chris was down there, and he had company. His older brother Richard, and his friend Dan.
Now, Richard has asbergers plus that hyper-mental-activity problem, and as much as we all love him, he can be accidentally annoying a lot of the time. He's smart, and mostly 'normal' by all other accounts. He just has a really nasally and annoying voice, he talks wayyy too fast, and his jokes are never timed right or funny. However, he's smart, and has a lot of our interests, such as gaming, music, anime, and some other things we do.
Dan... Now, I swear he's gay. Chris actually has a lot of gay friends, and that's weird, especially like his father he's extremely homophobic. Dan is a pretty boy, with short dirty-blond hair and pale blue eyes. He's shy but also assertive. I can say straightly that Dan is cute for a boy, but... Despite my own bi-sexual curiosities, he doesn't really do anything for me.
The boys were looking at videos on YouTube,watching specifically some gopher video. It was really lame and stupid, so much so that it was kind of funny...
We didn't want to walk for 25 minutes to get to Boston Pizza, especially with thehorrible wind and wind-chill outside. I ordered a cab (and strangely, stuttered nervously while doing so), and we eventually got off on our merry way.
Dan is 17, with no I.D.. Chris FORGOT his I.D. at home, so me and Richard (Rich) would be the only ones who could drink.
Instead of entering the lounge, we entered the restaurant half instead.
We got the back-corner booth, and we took our seats. Two booths away was a bunch of teeny-boppers, young girls from 16-19 in age.
We all ordered a lot of food, and tried a bunch of new drinks. Chris got mad at having no I.D., so I gave him enough cab fare to order two cab rides, just so he could get his card from home.
So, basically, I spent 20 bucks so he could go home and come back, so he could get me to buy him some alchohol. Lol at me!
We stayed out for a few hours. One of the staff guys there kept randomly yelling out 'Taco!' all night long, and I, in my crazy mind-thinking ways, replied every time loudly with 'Peso, peso, peso!'! (Marco, Polo!)
Cab rides cost me 40 bucks in all. The meals and drinks came to 139 bucks. Nearly a 200 dollar night for four guys to go out and have a little fun. I paid for the whole thing.
The next day, Saturday, I was SUPPOSED to go out with that John guy from work, to a Vietnamise Restaurant in Edmonton. However, since he's been sick lately, he never called me at all. I don't have his home number, but he's got mine.
I wasted Saturday, doing not much at home. Jamie disappeared all day long, to hang out with a girl co-worker named Cigi (see-jee).
Stephanie got me to go out shopping with her this weekend. We browsed one of the few last stores in our dying Fort Mall, and then went to that clothing store called Fields across town. Again, it was a cold and nasty day, and we walked. My touques are all at work or being run through the wash, so I froze my face on the way there.
We shopped around, and picked up a few things. I got a real nice black button-up shirt, and also a bright baby-blue girly touque for myself for the walk home. They didn't have scarves or guy touques at all, I swear!
Stephanie convinced me to buy her some underwear. Dark blue laced-ribbon up the sides underwear. She says she'll wear it. I just shrugged, and said 'sure...' to her, and tossed it in the basket.
After buying my mum some miniature camping flashlights (she collects miniatures) I paid for it all, and we walked home. Thank god I bought that touque!
Saturday night, Jamie came home, and zoned out from reality on the 'girls' computer, leaving me with no way to talk to her at all, even though I tried...
Saturday was the day before Stephanies and her boyfriends 6 month anniversary. She was upset because her boy-toy was avoiding her again, and he never called her, to say hi. Mark is supposed to call Steph and hang with her on Saturday nights.
Steph called around, and couldn't get Mark to answer. So she called up his friends, and discovered that Mark was having a party at his house. Steph asked for money for a cab ride, so I gave her 20 bucks, so she could get a return ride home. She went over to his place, confronted him face-to-face, and broke up with him for good.
I stayed up late that night, worried that Steph was out on her own this late at night. I was worried that she might actually start a fist fight with her boyfriend or something, or that she might not call for a cab to get home again safely.
Finally, very late at night, she walked in, upset.
I was able to get Jamie talking, and we both talked with Steph for a while. I tried to get Jamie to sit with Steph, so they could talk girl-talk about relationships, but Jamie just got all embarrassed and said she was still hung-over from hanging out with Cigi all day. So she nervously excused herself and said goodnight to us, and went to bed. It was really late at night...
I sat with Steph for a while, and she fell asleep on me while on the couch. I managed to sneak away, and went to bed on the other couch.
Sunday. Today, I was supposed to go get my truck battery, but I failed to do so. It's snowing today, and my mum was too busy to give me a cab ride today (Laurie drives cab and is also the dispatcher for Fort Taxi.).
I spent the majority of today doing laundry and looking up things on the internet. New massage skills, some videos on YouTube, played some forum games, and even worked with this guy from Great Britain on a mutual story-telling game that we made up.
I also managed to sneak onto the girls computer upstairs, and work my way through their countless programs. I figured out how to use their scanner for the first time, and uploaded some special pictures that Stephanie made for me.
[IMG]http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings.jpg[/IMG]
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings.jpg
[IMG]http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings_001.jpg[/IMG]
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings_001.jpg
[IMG]http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings_002.jpg[/IMG]
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings_002.jpg
[IMG]http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings_003.jpg[/IMG]
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Stephs_Drawings_003.jpg
If these links work, you may agree that they're all cute. The bear-boy is me, my character, as a furry 7 year old boy. The cat-girl is Stephanie.
For those curious, this is what my commissioned picture of my character, little David, looks like. Sorry, no full-sized version yet.
[IMG]http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Autumnbeardavid.png[/IMG]
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/Autumnbear_1/Autumnbeardavid.png
Right now Jamie went down the street to Johns house, where, his wife and some friends are hosting a 'toy' show. Jamies going to a party where women are all discussing and talking about sex toys. 4 days before Valentines' Day, hmm...
She's nervous about going, because there's a lot of people she's never met there before. I told her I can't go myself, because as a guy, I never got an invite. John is apparently out of the house tonight. I'm kind of disappointed that he never called me to go out with him...
I'm thinking right now. Wouldn't it be funny if Jamie got some 'pay-back' by buying ME a sex toy? I did, after all, buy her and the girls in our house this year at Christmas their very first sex toy.
Oh, I'd use it, for sure... ^_^
Yup, just doing chores and watched some T.V. today for a bit. Got pulled away from my MSN conversations all day long. Tomorrow is supposed to be a nicer day outside, so I'm gonna go to work and see if my truck starts up. The battery in it that's broken may actually work. I've had my trucks block-heater plugged in for over a week now, so I'm not worried about the oil and gears being frozen. If I can just get it to turn over and fire, I'll be happy. I could then be able to hobble my truck back to my place at least, where I can fix on it after getting my new battery.
My room is a disaster studio again. However, right now, I just don't care! My weekend was wayyy too short, and I wish I had another three days off from work.
I never did buy my digital camera yet, on account that I have no ride across town yet. Plus, I spent a lot of money this weekend on going out with my brothers and sister separately.
Meh, I'll update soon when I actually have something to write about. Laterz! >_<
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Ahh, hot bath. :3
It's been two good days so far. And I'm glad that right now things are looking up.
This Friday I'm taking Jamies brother Chris out for a few drinks. I just confirmed this not too long ago, making sure that his night is open. Boys night out, woot!
On Saturday, I'm possibly going out with John, the older guy that at around Christmas time nottoo long ago I went to his house, and met his wife and kids, and went out to their grandmas house on an acreage for some skating fun. John and I are gonna go to this place in Edmonton, some Vietnamise Restaurant. I never had Vietnam Noodles before. John says they're just awesome, so I'll have to concur, and try them out!
Jamie and I are getting along good.
Today, she was even more talkative with me again, and even went out of her way to offer me some gum, when she didn't have too. Aw, maybe she does care about me.
I've recently had doubts, thinking that maybe I'm just an annoying big 'brother' to her, one that she feels obligated to talk to and live with. I don't know why, I'm weird, and I get that way quite often.
She never shows much emotion towards me. Every so often she'll maybe flirt briefly, but as soon as I try to play along with it, she cools off and goes back into her bubble.
When she's around other people, like Shawn Harding or my brother Tony (who's 17 right now, Jamie is 19), she's way more flirtatious and outgoing. I envy them for being able to get her to be like that. I wonder; does she only flirt with people her age? Does she have something against me, or is it just secret respect and hidden love that keeps her serious around me?
I know that I'm 7 years older than her. I'm the one that needs growing up, not her.
All I can do is be the best that I can be, and keep playing this waiting game. I'll continue sneaking signs and messages to her, and hopefully, she'll respond.
Maybe I'll just get mad at myself, and just blurt it all out to her properly one day soon. I'm hoping she'll be understanding. Maybe she feels the same way, and is too shy and scared to say anything herself. Or, maybe she just really isn't interested in anyone at this stage of her life, and people like me will have to wait even longer until she's ready for a relationship.
I talk to an awesome Australian friend, nearly every night before I go to bed. I referred to her before on my blog, but never gave a name.
Well, I think it's alright to share just her first name, or, the one I was given.
To me, her name is Rinni. She's a red-headed, leaning towards auburnish, girl from the Land Down Under. Like a lot of good people I like, she has a lot of unique qualities about her. Many details about her are very private, and even on my blogs I won't post about them. I admire and respect her too much to break our intimate secrets like that. Instead, I can say how funny she is, and that she's a fellow artist/writer, and has this powerful life and drive despite all of her own personal problems. A powerful person, this Rinni is, and although I'll most likely never meet her in person, she has done a lot for me and my life so far.
She teaches me how to think certain ways, and to laugh and play again, and how important it is to have friends... She's helped me with my own problems, and allowed me to offer advice or a comment towards her problems. She's comforted me on my really bad days with an uplifting comment or three (plus a few tackle-glomphs), and I have also supported her and uplifted her when her own spirits were wavering low.
Together we've had a fun online experience, and I count her as a good friend.
Thank you Rinni for being there for me, and letting me be your friend. Hope you're enjoying my blogs so far, and maybe one day you'll be inspired to write your own private blog, so people like me can better understand you. :3
I just paid $1000.00 on my Mastercard, kept $500.00 out for myself, and have $800.00-something left over in the bank for automatic deductions like car insurance.
Last few months I've been over-paying rent, so that $500.00 of mine is not needed. I'm gonna go buy my camcorder very soon, hopefully this weekend.
Then I can uplaod videos of me and my house. Maybe I can sneak a video of some family members, too (with their permission, of course.).
I'm gonna figure out how to break apart one of my hentai stories into a comic format, so I can get an artist to make my whole entire story into a hentai comic. I want it to contain as much info and pages as possible, without breaking me or the bank. For me to get custom artwork done, it'll cost money. Hopefully I can talk to the artist and work it out on a page-by-page payment plan, instead of paying th full estimated cost all up front.
Of course, I'll have to divide my story up into jam-packed scenes, to get the best bang for my buck.
Just had the hottest bath I've had in a long time. Could barely move when I got out, my body was just 'ahhh...' after I got out.
Changing was agonizingly slow. The steam made my jammies all clingly, and my body was sluggish and dull.
Forgot what else I was gonna post, so it'll have to wait! Cyaz!
This Friday I'm taking Jamies brother Chris out for a few drinks. I just confirmed this not too long ago, making sure that his night is open. Boys night out, woot!
On Saturday, I'm possibly going out with John, the older guy that at around Christmas time nottoo long ago I went to his house, and met his wife and kids, and went out to their grandmas house on an acreage for some skating fun. John and I are gonna go to this place in Edmonton, some Vietnamise Restaurant. I never had Vietnam Noodles before. John says they're just awesome, so I'll have to concur, and try them out!
Jamie and I are getting along good.
Today, she was even more talkative with me again, and even went out of her way to offer me some gum, when she didn't have too. Aw, maybe she does care about me.
I've recently had doubts, thinking that maybe I'm just an annoying big 'brother' to her, one that she feels obligated to talk to and live with. I don't know why, I'm weird, and I get that way quite often.
She never shows much emotion towards me. Every so often she'll maybe flirt briefly, but as soon as I try to play along with it, she cools off and goes back into her bubble.
When she's around other people, like Shawn Harding or my brother Tony (who's 17 right now, Jamie is 19), she's way more flirtatious and outgoing. I envy them for being able to get her to be like that. I wonder; does she only flirt with people her age? Does she have something against me, or is it just secret respect and hidden love that keeps her serious around me?
I know that I'm 7 years older than her. I'm the one that needs growing up, not her.
All I can do is be the best that I can be, and keep playing this waiting game. I'll continue sneaking signs and messages to her, and hopefully, she'll respond.
Maybe I'll just get mad at myself, and just blurt it all out to her properly one day soon. I'm hoping she'll be understanding. Maybe she feels the same way, and is too shy and scared to say anything herself. Or, maybe she just really isn't interested in anyone at this stage of her life, and people like me will have to wait even longer until she's ready for a relationship.
I talk to an awesome Australian friend, nearly every night before I go to bed. I referred to her before on my blog, but never gave a name.
Well, I think it's alright to share just her first name, or, the one I was given.
To me, her name is Rinni. She's a red-headed, leaning towards auburnish, girl from the Land Down Under. Like a lot of good people I like, she has a lot of unique qualities about her. Many details about her are very private, and even on my blogs I won't post about them. I admire and respect her too much to break our intimate secrets like that. Instead, I can say how funny she is, and that she's a fellow artist/writer, and has this powerful life and drive despite all of her own personal problems. A powerful person, this Rinni is, and although I'll most likely never meet her in person, she has done a lot for me and my life so far.
She teaches me how to think certain ways, and to laugh and play again, and how important it is to have friends... She's helped me with my own problems, and allowed me to offer advice or a comment towards her problems. She's comforted me on my really bad days with an uplifting comment or three (plus a few tackle-glomphs), and I have also supported her and uplifted her when her own spirits were wavering low.
Together we've had a fun online experience, and I count her as a good friend.
Thank you Rinni for being there for me, and letting me be your friend. Hope you're enjoying my blogs so far, and maybe one day you'll be inspired to write your own private blog, so people like me can better understand you. :3
I just paid $1000.00 on my Mastercard, kept $500.00 out for myself, and have $800.00-something left over in the bank for automatic deductions like car insurance.
Last few months I've been over-paying rent, so that $500.00 of mine is not needed. I'm gonna go buy my camcorder very soon, hopefully this weekend.
Then I can uplaod videos of me and my house. Maybe I can sneak a video of some family members, too (with their permission, of course.).
I'm gonna figure out how to break apart one of my hentai stories into a comic format, so I can get an artist to make my whole entire story into a hentai comic. I want it to contain as much info and pages as possible, without breaking me or the bank. For me to get custom artwork done, it'll cost money. Hopefully I can talk to the artist and work it out on a page-by-page payment plan, instead of paying th full estimated cost all up front.
Of course, I'll have to divide my story up into jam-packed scenes, to get the best bang for my buck.
Just had the hottest bath I've had in a long time. Could barely move when I got out, my body was just 'ahhh...' after I got out.
Changing was agonizingly slow. The steam made my jammies all clingly, and my body was sluggish and dull.
Forgot what else I was gonna post, so it'll have to wait! Cyaz!
Monday, February 4, 2008
70th Post!!!
Woot. I bet I'll post about something crazy on my 100th!
Well. This blog covers a couple of days. So, here we go.
On Sunday (Today is Monday) Harding was here for the second time. He spent the day chilling out at our house again. Pretty cool. I felt like a lousy host, what with me not even able to hang out with anyone at all. I could barely speak (squeak), and I was cold and miserable. He did hang with me for a bit. I showed him the last blog entry I made, talked a bit about why he's staying all the way south in Red Deer and stuff, and talked about where our own career futures would be.
He's staying in Red Deer for another 2 months. Shawn says he plans on becoming a Paramedic now. I'm gonna be a Healer, but just a massage therapist. He's gotta outclass me by being a Paramedic? Shawn... ^_^ What happened to you being a police officer or security guard?
Shawn stayed until 8:10 pm that night. He was eagerly waiting for HIS sister to come and pick him up, so he could get on the 9 pm bus to go back south to where he is currently staying. However, for some odd reason, American Football is popular right now. Something about this seasonal championship thing (I don't like most sports). So, we were watching football, in MY house. Apparently, Shawns sister was a little slow in picking him up, because she was watching the stupid game too.
Shawn left without a problem. He apparently gave Jamie a souvenier that has some hidden meaning. He stole a spoon from the house where he's staying at, his friend Brenans (with no D in the name, yes, that's right...), and gave THAT to her as a gift. What's so special about his friends spoon, I wonder? I have no idea, but since it's so special and 'sacred', I promised myself to never use it. Maybe it's one of those magical spoons that turns people into Sailor Scouts, or some other Jap-animation super hero. Who knows?
Stephanie was a little mad last night. Her boyfriend was supposed to come down and spend some quality time with her, as soon as the football game ended. But the game dragged itself out, and when it was over, I guess he didn't want to come over by then. Poor girl. Hope she gets a better man one day.
Today. Monday. I got up super-early to call the boss today. Asked him if he wanted me to come back early and maybe shovel some snowy sidewalks for him or not. No, he said to stay at home, and that he would ome on over and 'talk' with me later. So, he said be ready at 8:30, 'cause he was gonna park in front of our house, and I'd have to go outside and talk with him.
Well, we waited, and waited, and waited... Jamie and I sat in our work clothes until 9 am, before I called him back. ''Oh, I'm in a meeting right now. I'll be over in a bit.''
I took my boots off, and waited. At around noon, he came over. So I went out first.
Boss is concerned because my attitude at work is turning into the same attitude that I had back when I was a slave for four and a half years, not too long ago, when I was working for him at Sherritt. It appears to have caused concern among a few of the big-shots, even though I'm still one of the best workers he's got.
I told him. I'm sick, during the worst weather period in our winter so far. I'm drowning on myself, coughing up bloody-foam in my phlegm, and not feeling too peachy-keen all the time. I'm natural depressed, and with my current extra depressions added on top of that, such as my love problems and other things, I haven't been too happy at work. My truck is froze, I have no ride, I have no way to get better... Yadda yadda yadda...
I told him I can do the work, and that despite my horrifying THREE days absent from work this month, I was able to make a full months wage. I do all the things they ask of me, and I never complain, or ask for help.
So, there's no punishment or anything. Not for me, anyways.
Jamie went out next, to talk to him. She told him that she's going to have to reduce her schedule soon, because she's intending to go back to school. So she's not quitting, not abandoning her job... She's just trimming it back, so she can focus on her studies.
The boss also had some other things to ask of her, which as of right now I have no idea what they are.
Jamie told me directly today that she's gonna go to school again, but she'll most likely end up staying here at my house. I told her that was great news. Her mom will love that as well. Hopefully help to keep her sane a little longer.
Today, Monday again. My Grandma Richey came by after that ordeal and drove me to crappy tire (Canadian Tire). I went in alone, and had a few minor inconveniences at the service counter. I told the guy what type of battery I needed, and he couldn't look up batteries that way on his computer. He asked me what year my truck is instead, insisting that it was the only way he could figure out what battery I needed. I sighed, and guessed what year my truck is (hey, I honestly don't know for sure!).
I said maybe a 1989 Chevy Blazer, 4X4, maybe a 4.3 litre engine in it, who knows? I can't keep track of that kind of useless information. Plus, my vehicle info is frozen inside my truck at work! There's no way I could run out for a quick look-see.
All the guy at the counter could do was write down a serial number for the battery I wanted. He said go to that counter over there, and vaguely pointed to a spot away from him. I waited for 20 minutes behind another customer, only to find out that it was the normal registers at Customer Service where I had to place my order, and not the counter guy in front of the wall rack that had all the other brands and sizes of batteries on it was.
I made it to Customer Service, and dealt with a shy girl who gave me the silent treatment. I paid 125 dollars for a battery that they have to order in for me. There were none in stock, but they were ordering 30 of them. I saw on their computer.
So, I got my two pre-paid purchase reciepts, and was told to wait for a phone call. They'd call me when my battery came in.
I also made sure that my battery would arrive pre-charged. Some batteries are sent dead, and get charged up at the retail centres.
Grandma took me home, where she stayed for a short visit. If she finds a buyer from her home, she'll be moving to the far south-west corner of Alberta, at a place called Pinscher Creek, or something to that effect. Close by the mountain foothills, anyways.
Jamie and Kim (her mother) were baking when I got back. Bannok (native american bread) and a bunch of cookies!
One of the guys on my hentai forums that I go to everyday finished a commissioned piece of artwork for me.
I paid this artist, who lives in the Netherlands, a total of two comic books, and mailed them to him. In return, I have a piece of good cartoony artwork depicting me as a little boy, aged 7ish.
Let me explain some things before I continue.
Lolicon is sexual hand-drawn art depicting young girls under the age of 14.
Shotacon is the same thing, just featuring boys.
Straight shotacon can mean underaged boy-on-girl action, which could be full-blown raunchy sexual acts to just innocent nude poses.
-
Now, I have had VERY under-aged sexual experiences myself, and have a flair for capturing the, oh I dunno, 'magic' of the moment?
I'll let you guys know that, while pedophilia is a crime in Canada, lolicon is not. Many people are okay and comfortable with harmless stories about younger people having their first sexual experiences. Not always what people first assume, like intercourse. Fondling, viewing, being shy and experimental in each others presences... That's what I sometimes write about.
Since my first time was when I was 8, and I was with a childhood friend who was 7, we didn't necessarily have intercourse. We did do the fondling, exploring, and all that.
I have a great attraction to cute art depicting such things. Raunchy, hard-core stuff, while I can tolerate and even like, usually turns out to be just TOO much for anyone to handle, even me, and it can easily upset me.
Intimate, sensitive, and cute are what I adore. So sue me. [Shrugs]
-
Anyways, one of the stories I wrote is a babysitting story. My character, me as a 7 yera old boy, is babysat by a 13 year old girl, who happens to be one of the characters in my forums. Umm, THINGS happen... in my story... :3
I asked an artist to draw me a clean picture of me as my character, and he happily obliged. Right now it' being used as my MSN avatar.
Picture the Coppertone commercial, where the dog pulls down a young girls shorts. Now, replace that pic with that of a youngm, shy boy, and you can see his bare bum. That's my pic.
-
Does that mean I'm a pedophile, since I like cartoon girls?
Well, I will admit, that most people have a little bit of a pedophiliac nature in them, even if they won't admit it.
On a scale of 1-10, I'd say I'm maybe about a 2. Yes, I like a little nudity. However, I am rarely 'attracted' in that way. It takes a certain something, a trigger of a memory, to rouse that side of me. Mostly, I love kids too much to even think about that kind of stuff. However, in anime or cartoons, that's a totally different story.
I love lolicon artwork and stories, so much that I write a lot of it. And, in my hentai (anime sex/cartoon sex) community, any area of sexual deviancy or interest is tolerated, so long as nobody attacks another for having certain preferences. In fact, there's quite a few requests for certain lolicon art. Mostly the site produces a lot of lesbian cartoons, and some furry porn (animals that walks and act in human form, like the Rescue Rangers chipmunks). Lolicon is quite common too, and it's even allowed in Canada, and is not criminal to possess or look at.
-
Just a tiny tid-bit from a dirty old son who lives in Alberta. Hope you're not offended, but you have to realize just how common and accepted this is in society, even while on the surface nobody would admit it.
P.S.: Just 'cause I love this stuff, doesn't mean it's my top preference. I have a lot of deviations, and this isn't my top one. Deviations are as varied as peoples personalities, so think about that the next time you see your neighbour.
I actually like watching videos of adult teens masturbating. As long as they're not obviously faking it, look realistic but still attractive, that's what I like.
I have, but seldom do, whack-off to cartoon girls. That doesn't mean I don't get a mental sexual pleasure from writing stories about it though.
I'm finally talking to one of the cool guys who I chat with all the time on one of my forums. He's a guy who lives in England and area, who online is a teenage cat-girl. We've helped each other to create a spontaneous role-play story on another site, one run by my Australian friend.
Together we've created a few characters who are mostly human in appearance, but have tails and animal traits like ears from whatever animal they represent.
They all go together to a few pre-made areas that the site master created, and we follow strict guidelings in order to post on the site.
We're telling basic stories, each of us moves a character an writes out a piece of the action, while the other has to wait and then reply later. Thus, we create an ongoing and dynamic story that is enjoyable for both the players to write, and makes an interesting read for others to enjoy as well.
Ran outta time. I'll post more often later. Cya! ^_^
Well. This blog covers a couple of days. So, here we go.
On Sunday (Today is Monday) Harding was here for the second time. He spent the day chilling out at our house again. Pretty cool. I felt like a lousy host, what with me not even able to hang out with anyone at all. I could barely speak (squeak), and I was cold and miserable. He did hang with me for a bit. I showed him the last blog entry I made, talked a bit about why he's staying all the way south in Red Deer and stuff, and talked about where our own career futures would be.
He's staying in Red Deer for another 2 months. Shawn says he plans on becoming a Paramedic now. I'm gonna be a Healer, but just a massage therapist. He's gotta outclass me by being a Paramedic? Shawn... ^_^ What happened to you being a police officer or security guard?
Shawn stayed until 8:10 pm that night. He was eagerly waiting for HIS sister to come and pick him up, so he could get on the 9 pm bus to go back south to where he is currently staying. However, for some odd reason, American Football is popular right now. Something about this seasonal championship thing (I don't like most sports). So, we were watching football, in MY house. Apparently, Shawns sister was a little slow in picking him up, because she was watching the stupid game too.
Shawn left without a problem. He apparently gave Jamie a souvenier that has some hidden meaning. He stole a spoon from the house where he's staying at, his friend Brenans (with no D in the name, yes, that's right...), and gave THAT to her as a gift. What's so special about his friends spoon, I wonder? I have no idea, but since it's so special and 'sacred', I promised myself to never use it. Maybe it's one of those magical spoons that turns people into Sailor Scouts, or some other Jap-animation super hero. Who knows?
Stephanie was a little mad last night. Her boyfriend was supposed to come down and spend some quality time with her, as soon as the football game ended. But the game dragged itself out, and when it was over, I guess he didn't want to come over by then. Poor girl. Hope she gets a better man one day.
Today. Monday. I got up super-early to call the boss today. Asked him if he wanted me to come back early and maybe shovel some snowy sidewalks for him or not. No, he said to stay at home, and that he would ome on over and 'talk' with me later. So, he said be ready at 8:30, 'cause he was gonna park in front of our house, and I'd have to go outside and talk with him.
Well, we waited, and waited, and waited... Jamie and I sat in our work clothes until 9 am, before I called him back. ''Oh, I'm in a meeting right now. I'll be over in a bit.''
I took my boots off, and waited. At around noon, he came over. So I went out first.
Boss is concerned because my attitude at work is turning into the same attitude that I had back when I was a slave for four and a half years, not too long ago, when I was working for him at Sherritt. It appears to have caused concern among a few of the big-shots, even though I'm still one of the best workers he's got.
I told him. I'm sick, during the worst weather period in our winter so far. I'm drowning on myself, coughing up bloody-foam in my phlegm, and not feeling too peachy-keen all the time. I'm natural depressed, and with my current extra depressions added on top of that, such as my love problems and other things, I haven't been too happy at work. My truck is froze, I have no ride, I have no way to get better... Yadda yadda yadda...
I told him I can do the work, and that despite my horrifying THREE days absent from work this month, I was able to make a full months wage. I do all the things they ask of me, and I never complain, or ask for help.
So, there's no punishment or anything. Not for me, anyways.
Jamie went out next, to talk to him. She told him that she's going to have to reduce her schedule soon, because she's intending to go back to school. So she's not quitting, not abandoning her job... She's just trimming it back, so she can focus on her studies.
The boss also had some other things to ask of her, which as of right now I have no idea what they are.
Jamie told me directly today that she's gonna go to school again, but she'll most likely end up staying here at my house. I told her that was great news. Her mom will love that as well. Hopefully help to keep her sane a little longer.
Today, Monday again. My Grandma Richey came by after that ordeal and drove me to crappy tire (Canadian Tire). I went in alone, and had a few minor inconveniences at the service counter. I told the guy what type of battery I needed, and he couldn't look up batteries that way on his computer. He asked me what year my truck is instead, insisting that it was the only way he could figure out what battery I needed. I sighed, and guessed what year my truck is (hey, I honestly don't know for sure!).
I said maybe a 1989 Chevy Blazer, 4X4, maybe a 4.3 litre engine in it, who knows? I can't keep track of that kind of useless information. Plus, my vehicle info is frozen inside my truck at work! There's no way I could run out for a quick look-see.
All the guy at the counter could do was write down a serial number for the battery I wanted. He said go to that counter over there, and vaguely pointed to a spot away from him. I waited for 20 minutes behind another customer, only to find out that it was the normal registers at Customer Service where I had to place my order, and not the counter guy in front of the wall rack that had all the other brands and sizes of batteries on it was.
I made it to Customer Service, and dealt with a shy girl who gave me the silent treatment. I paid 125 dollars for a battery that they have to order in for me. There were none in stock, but they were ordering 30 of them. I saw on their computer.
So, I got my two pre-paid purchase reciepts, and was told to wait for a phone call. They'd call me when my battery came in.
I also made sure that my battery would arrive pre-charged. Some batteries are sent dead, and get charged up at the retail centres.
Grandma took me home, where she stayed for a short visit. If she finds a buyer from her home, she'll be moving to the far south-west corner of Alberta, at a place called Pinscher Creek, or something to that effect. Close by the mountain foothills, anyways.
Jamie and Kim (her mother) were baking when I got back. Bannok (native american bread) and a bunch of cookies!
One of the guys on my hentai forums that I go to everyday finished a commissioned piece of artwork for me.
I paid this artist, who lives in the Netherlands, a total of two comic books, and mailed them to him. In return, I have a piece of good cartoony artwork depicting me as a little boy, aged 7ish.
Let me explain some things before I continue.
Lolicon is sexual hand-drawn art depicting young girls under the age of 14.
Shotacon is the same thing, just featuring boys.
Straight shotacon can mean underaged boy-on-girl action, which could be full-blown raunchy sexual acts to just innocent nude poses.
-
Now, I have had VERY under-aged sexual experiences myself, and have a flair for capturing the, oh I dunno, 'magic' of the moment?
I'll let you guys know that, while pedophilia is a crime in Canada, lolicon is not. Many people are okay and comfortable with harmless stories about younger people having their first sexual experiences. Not always what people first assume, like intercourse. Fondling, viewing, being shy and experimental in each others presences... That's what I sometimes write about.
Since my first time was when I was 8, and I was with a childhood friend who was 7, we didn't necessarily have intercourse. We did do the fondling, exploring, and all that.
I have a great attraction to cute art depicting such things. Raunchy, hard-core stuff, while I can tolerate and even like, usually turns out to be just TOO much for anyone to handle, even me, and it can easily upset me.
Intimate, sensitive, and cute are what I adore. So sue me. [Shrugs]
-
Anyways, one of the stories I wrote is a babysitting story. My character, me as a 7 yera old boy, is babysat by a 13 year old girl, who happens to be one of the characters in my forums. Umm, THINGS happen... in my story... :3
I asked an artist to draw me a clean picture of me as my character, and he happily obliged. Right now it' being used as my MSN avatar.
Picture the Coppertone commercial, where the dog pulls down a young girls shorts. Now, replace that pic with that of a youngm, shy boy, and you can see his bare bum. That's my pic.
-
Does that mean I'm a pedophile, since I like cartoon girls?
Well, I will admit, that most people have a little bit of a pedophiliac nature in them, even if they won't admit it.
On a scale of 1-10, I'd say I'm maybe about a 2. Yes, I like a little nudity. However, I am rarely 'attracted' in that way. It takes a certain something, a trigger of a memory, to rouse that side of me. Mostly, I love kids too much to even think about that kind of stuff. However, in anime or cartoons, that's a totally different story.
I love lolicon artwork and stories, so much that I write a lot of it. And, in my hentai (anime sex/cartoon sex) community, any area of sexual deviancy or interest is tolerated, so long as nobody attacks another for having certain preferences. In fact, there's quite a few requests for certain lolicon art. Mostly the site produces a lot of lesbian cartoons, and some furry porn (animals that walks and act in human form, like the Rescue Rangers chipmunks). Lolicon is quite common too, and it's even allowed in Canada, and is not criminal to possess or look at.
-
Just a tiny tid-bit from a dirty old son who lives in Alberta. Hope you're not offended, but you have to realize just how common and accepted this is in society, even while on the surface nobody would admit it.
P.S.: Just 'cause I love this stuff, doesn't mean it's my top preference. I have a lot of deviations, and this isn't my top one. Deviations are as varied as peoples personalities, so think about that the next time you see your neighbour.
I actually like watching videos of adult teens masturbating. As long as they're not obviously faking it, look realistic but still attractive, that's what I like.
I have, but seldom do, whack-off to cartoon girls. That doesn't mean I don't get a mental sexual pleasure from writing stories about it though.
I'm finally talking to one of the cool guys who I chat with all the time on one of my forums. He's a guy who lives in England and area, who online is a teenage cat-girl. We've helped each other to create a spontaneous role-play story on another site, one run by my Australian friend.
Together we've created a few characters who are mostly human in appearance, but have tails and animal traits like ears from whatever animal they represent.
They all go together to a few pre-made areas that the site master created, and we follow strict guidelings in order to post on the site.
We're telling basic stories, each of us moves a character an writes out a piece of the action, while the other has to wait and then reply later. Thus, we create an ongoing and dynamic story that is enjoyable for both the players to write, and makes an interesting read for others to enjoy as well.
Ran outta time. I'll post more often later. Cya! ^_^
Sunday, February 3, 2008
The Visitor
Well, it's Sunday now. So far, nothing bad has happened to me, in regards to work or with my boss.
Yesterday Shawn Harding finally came up to visit us. I was feeling sick, and I knew his only reason for coming mainly was to visit Jamie.
So I backed off, completely, and let them have their space.
Jamie seemed to be feeling much better yesterday, even with her sickness. She played my Resident Evil 4 game for many hours, with Shawn watching her play. Then, Shawn bought her a donair, and they hanged around, joking and laughing. Looked like they were having fun.
Later, she came up from the basement, to hang with him upstairs. So I kept giving them their space, and went downstairs, to stay out of their way.
It seemed like a good visit, nobody was angry and there were no arguments or fights this time. Just a nice visit between childhood friends, who haven't seen each other in almost a month.
I don't know how much longer Shawn is staying up here in the Fort before he goes back down to Red Deer. I also don't know how long he's planning on staying in Red Deer. His family either lives up here in the Fort or in Bruderheim. I know he only went down to live with his friend Brendon (or is it actually Brennan, it's hard to tell, I keep thinking it's a spelling mistake) because one of his households up here is too full of problems and people for him to stay with, and the other household is on a trip, excluding Shawn in the process. He isn't allowed or able to live alone in Bruderheim, with no money, transportation, or food to eat. So that's why he's out of town right now.
I basically told Shawn that right now, I'm not making any big or serious moves to get Jamies affection. She needs to mature more, and figure out her own life. I told him that right now I'm backing off a lot, so that she can grow and do her thing on her own. He does know, however, that I'm still interested in her, and that I won't be backing away from this issue. Just, for now, I'm giving the whole issue some space, and a little time, to see if she develops any interest in other people or not.
So, if she ends up becoming interested in him, or me, or anyone else, so be it. So long as she's happy in the end.
---
I am part of many forum communities. One of them in particular is a hentai forum, where artists post excellent quality artwork depicting any or all of your favourite characters from books or shows in any scene that you request. You have to pay a small fee to get your ideas created into actual artwork, but the fee is usually small, and the art is perfect quality.
I write sex stories on this site, and have established myself as a useful and active member on the forums. Nearly everyone knows me, and considering we have roughly 30 000 users in all (only 100-150 go into the forums), that's pretty good.
This morning I'm paying a decent but not perfect artist a small fee to create some requested artwork for myself, featuring one of the characters in my stories. I'm not sending him cash, instead I ordered him two manga books (Japanese comic books) and placed the mailing destination to his home, in the Netherlands. I already have a great rough sketch of his drawing. I'm just waiting for it to be cleaned up a little, coloured, and poste on our forums.
I'm also waiting for the sites main artist, the one who does perfect animation and drawings, to reply to my e-mail for an actual paid commission request for a professional drawing. The price is only going to range from 25 to 35 dollars for my simple coloured picture. I had to create a Western Union account, because it's the only way this guy will accept payment. He lives in a bustling little town in Brazil (I believe), but he's caucasian, speaks english as a second language (he speaks and writes it better than many Albertans I know), and is a cheerful and active member, even when business is slow. Everyone that is a regular and active forum member is a loved member of our community.
Tjis artist recently came back from a holiday, so I'm just waiting for him to settle back down, read his one million e-mails that he got over his vacation, and eventually get to mine.
The girl I met from Australia is one of these members. She herself is a celebrity as well, on our site, and has made many games, stories, and paid for quite a few professional pictures already.
I just e-mailed her the rough sketch of my character, so I'm waiting for her to wake up on her side of the world to see it. Seeing as how that right now, at this moment, I just got a pop-up saying that a new e-mail from her arrived, I'm assuming she's up now. ^_^
K, that's it for now. I'll go buy at ruck battery today, if I can get a ride across town. Laterz!
Yesterday Shawn Harding finally came up to visit us. I was feeling sick, and I knew his only reason for coming mainly was to visit Jamie.
So I backed off, completely, and let them have their space.
Jamie seemed to be feeling much better yesterday, even with her sickness. She played my Resident Evil 4 game for many hours, with Shawn watching her play. Then, Shawn bought her a donair, and they hanged around, joking and laughing. Looked like they were having fun.
Later, she came up from the basement, to hang with him upstairs. So I kept giving them their space, and went downstairs, to stay out of their way.
It seemed like a good visit, nobody was angry and there were no arguments or fights this time. Just a nice visit between childhood friends, who haven't seen each other in almost a month.
I don't know how much longer Shawn is staying up here in the Fort before he goes back down to Red Deer. I also don't know how long he's planning on staying in Red Deer. His family either lives up here in the Fort or in Bruderheim. I know he only went down to live with his friend Brendon (or is it actually Brennan, it's hard to tell, I keep thinking it's a spelling mistake) because one of his households up here is too full of problems and people for him to stay with, and the other household is on a trip, excluding Shawn in the process. He isn't allowed or able to live alone in Bruderheim, with no money, transportation, or food to eat. So that's why he's out of town right now.
I basically told Shawn that right now, I'm not making any big or serious moves to get Jamies affection. She needs to mature more, and figure out her own life. I told him that right now I'm backing off a lot, so that she can grow and do her thing on her own. He does know, however, that I'm still interested in her, and that I won't be backing away from this issue. Just, for now, I'm giving the whole issue some space, and a little time, to see if she develops any interest in other people or not.
So, if she ends up becoming interested in him, or me, or anyone else, so be it. So long as she's happy in the end.
---
I am part of many forum communities. One of them in particular is a hentai forum, where artists post excellent quality artwork depicting any or all of your favourite characters from books or shows in any scene that you request. You have to pay a small fee to get your ideas created into actual artwork, but the fee is usually small, and the art is perfect quality.
I write sex stories on this site, and have established myself as a useful and active member on the forums. Nearly everyone knows me, and considering we have roughly 30 000 users in all (only 100-150 go into the forums), that's pretty good.
This morning I'm paying a decent but not perfect artist a small fee to create some requested artwork for myself, featuring one of the characters in my stories. I'm not sending him cash, instead I ordered him two manga books (Japanese comic books) and placed the mailing destination to his home, in the Netherlands. I already have a great rough sketch of his drawing. I'm just waiting for it to be cleaned up a little, coloured, and poste on our forums.
I'm also waiting for the sites main artist, the one who does perfect animation and drawings, to reply to my e-mail for an actual paid commission request for a professional drawing. The price is only going to range from 25 to 35 dollars for my simple coloured picture. I had to create a Western Union account, because it's the only way this guy will accept payment. He lives in a bustling little town in Brazil (I believe), but he's caucasian, speaks english as a second language (he speaks and writes it better than many Albertans I know), and is a cheerful and active member, even when business is slow. Everyone that is a regular and active forum member is a loved member of our community.
Tjis artist recently came back from a holiday, so I'm just waiting for him to settle back down, read his one million e-mails that he got over his vacation, and eventually get to mine.
The girl I met from Australia is one of these members. She herself is a celebrity as well, on our site, and has made many games, stories, and paid for quite a few professional pictures already.
I just e-mailed her the rough sketch of my character, so I'm waiting for her to wake up on her side of the world to see it. Seeing as how that right now, at this moment, I just got a pop-up saying that a new e-mail from her arrived, I'm assuming she's up now. ^_^
K, that's it for now. I'll go buy at ruck battery today, if I can get a ride across town. Laterz!
Friday, February 1, 2008
Spitfire
I put in 160 hours PLUS 7 overtime hours this month (January). I showed up to work in blistering-cold, -47 degrees celcius weather, severe frostbite factors included. I've been battling pnumonia-like symptoms for over two weeks, and had to walk to work for an entire week now, in such crappy weather.
I missed a total of THREE days this month, and STILL managed to make a normal months of straight, regular hours, plus a tiny little extra in over-time.
I called my boss this morning, gagging against my own shortness of breath and constant urge to cough uncontrollably, and told him I was gonna come in today. I asked him politely if it might be okay if I had to leave early today or not. I am sick, after all, and not sure how I can get through this day, especially in the cold.
The fucker told me to stay at home today. He's upset, because I've been missing SO many days this month. Also, apparently, my attitude seems a little bad at work recently. No shit!
How the hell SHOULD I feel, shoveling 4 feet of snow that's packed and solid like frozen styrofoam, drowning on my own phlem, in temperatures that, to this VERY moment, have scarred my own nose, because I got severe frostbite from the rim of my glasses momentarily freezing to my own flesh?
I'm outside, where nobody wants to be, and nobody can see me. I'm the lone guy, braving the cold, making sure all the rich paper-pushers who come onto our chemical plants in their pointy shoes and expensive coats can safely make it to even the most obscure and least-used doors on our industrial plant site.
I bust my ass, working hard and honest, like any real man should do, and I don't complain about it. If I get too sick to work, trust me, I take a day off. Of course I'm worried about losing face-value at work, and looking like I'm weak or un-fit to do my job. I'd rather NOT be sick folks, and it would be nice to get a full-sized pay-cheque with a lot of extra over-time bonuses in it.
So, he's making me take today off. I'm a little angry at this, but also a little relieved.
Today is the day his accountant takes in our time-cards, and writes us up our one, month-end cheque. Since I can't make it in today, I have to wait until Monday, and then maybe another day for his accountant to process the papers that me and Jamie have to turn in.
Jamie is going to the hospital/clinic to get herself checked out today. Hopefully it's not too serious for her. Me, well, I've been through this before. There's a secret cure. My body knows what to do. I will, like before, eventually cough out a black, chunky-looking piece of phlegm. By then I'll be coughing so hard and painfully that my body will throw-up from the system shock. Once that black phlegm is gone, and the acid from my own puke has scoured my infected bronchial airway clean a few times, my infection will almost immediately go away. Trust me, like I said, this is how it works. It's happened before.
Jamie, well... I know she's tough, but I doubt that she could tough it out hat long on her own. Even as a woman, with her temperament and willpower, she wouldn't be able to endure this like I can.
She's allergic to Penicillin, it'll kill her. So the doctors will have to give her some really nice and powerful ALTERNATIVE drugs to cure her.
Me, I'm too stubborn to seek outside help. I refuse to go to the doctor, and get yelled at by them again for being sick in the first place. I don't like being told that I have to eat 2 servings of good meat a day, and 5 servings of fruit a day. I'm poor, and I can't live up to the 'recommended daily intake' as posted by our Canadian Foods Guide. I can't afford to buy and eat vitamins all the time, nor would it fit in with my lifestyle or routine. I'm more of a naturalist, and I believe simple medicines and cures are the best. Preventative action doesn't mean you have to indulge daily in un-natural drugs or vitamin suppliments. My diet may not be as big as the recommended charts say, but I do eat well, most of the time. It's just our variety and amount is limited, so my body has had to adapt and learn how to survive these many years using natural cravings and urges to set me right when my body is lacking something. I love veggies and fruit, and meat, and fresh, warm bread. I love drinking milk (even though it's not always available), and I keep myself clean and fit as I can.
So, back to my job problems. My boss wants to 'have a TALK' with me this weekend, to discuss my attitude at work, and why I've been missing SO MUCH work. (Boo Hoo...)
I went back to Sherritt for Jamie. She's planning on leaving him soon, so there's no need to stay there, except to make money. I can make money anywhere, and get treated better too. Really, I'm staying there right now only to keep Jamie happy, to help her out at work (when I can, we get pulled apart so often it hurts), and to give her a reliable ride to work every day (well, my trucks currently dead...).
There's a few places hiring right now. There's even a job opening at the Dow Centennial Centre, the place where they have a cool physiotherapy/massage studio that I've been eyeing. If I get a job there, I can make a million contacts easy as pie. Right now they're just hiring clean-up staff, and there's an Orange Julius stand there that's hiring as well. It'd be as glamourous as working at 7-11, minus the graveyard staff duties, the drunks, and convenience store thefts. Everything is behind a counter, so the job would be solely customer service. During the day. I could live with that.
Or, I could suck up my pride, and move up north to work in Fort McMurray, where all the big money is. Sure, I'd have to shift my entire personality and thought processes to become a greedy, self-absorbed work-a-holic like everyone else up there, but I'd be able to get a job. Maybe not a great one at first, but I could easily get my foot into the door with other companies.
What am I talking about? The boss never said anything about firing me yet. I'm sure he's gonna try hard to guilt trip me into working longer and harder for him. Or he's gonna dump more bullshit jobs on me until I break and quit on my own. Or I'll just get a warning, and get sent back to my normal hum-drum job, being lectured to watch how I act at work. The worst thing he could do is try and force me to work extra hard for him, which I wouldn't tolerate at all.
Gary Sharun is a fat, white-blob, who hates women, couldn't get laid if his life depended on it, and is himself a cheap and petty man. However, he is shrewd, and where he lacks common sense, he makes up for in his fierce business and greedy mind. He's a master manipulator, and even though I can obviously see his manipulations, he's too good to counter them.
Shawn Harding (the guy I fought with over Christmas about Jamie) is coming up for a visit this weekend. Him and I have started getting along again, and I've been trying to repair the damage I did.
Jamie isn't interested in anyone right now, not because she doesn't know who she likes yet or not, but simply because her current lifestyle doesn't allow any relationships for her.
If she ends up falling for Shawn, or me, or another guy, then that's her choice. The bottom line is, right now I'm ready to try a relationship, even a small one, with her. She isn't willing or ready to try herself right now. It's a patient waiting game, one which even I can barely slow down for. Still, I bide my time, and send her messages and clues all the time. Hopefully, soon, she'll start to look for what I'm looking for, and possibly consider me as one of her options.
She knows I'm a dependable guy, one who is filled with nothing but love and encouragement for her. I could make her happy, if I wasn't forced to hide my feelings. I could help her live a wonderful life, and as long as we supported each other just a little, we would both easily succeed. I'm the only guy that gets more pleasure from simple cuddling that just sex. I can listen well, offer advice, and find even the strangest of solutions to problems that she builds up to be bigger than they are.
It's true I don't have that edge of danger or mystery that girls crave. Instead, I'm the kind of guy that girls say they want in the end, even as they're eyeing the dangerous creep in the corner by the pool table.
I'm a compassionate, family man, who longs for simple pleasures and joys in life. Some of my dreams are big and un-realistic, but so too are some of hers. Maybe together we could both get what we want out of life, including happiness.
Well, until she's ready, I have to wait. I have to be her good friend and a loving brother until she's grown up a little more.
She's turning 20 this summer, and I remember hitting that age myself. You get shocked, and realize, that you're not really a kid anymore. Sure, as an 18 or a 19 year old, you feel adult, but you don't really believe it until the digits change. I'm hoping by then that she'll start to awaken.
Valentine's Day is coming up. I plan on giving her a romantic letter, and maybe a little something else.
I'm gonna give Stephanie a romantic letter too, so she can show her asshole boyfriend what a real man would write if he were fortunate enough to have an angel like my littler sis.
Steph and I are real close. If I was a girl, she'd be my 'girlfriend', because we have those girly kind of talks all the time. We sit around together, and openly discuss our own personal love issues and problems. We talk about anything and everything, and I think it's wonderful at how smart and mature my kid sis has turned out to be, and still retain that 16 year old kid spirit too.
We sit together on the couch, I give her foot rubs and massages all the time, I comfort her when her boyfriend treats her wrongly on the phone... Basically I'm doing some of the things that I wish I could do with Jamie.
Ironic, that the intimate relationship I want is being done with the person I don't want to have it with. It should be turned around. I should be darting around Stephs life, and getting intimate and close with Jamie.
It does happen, though. Jamie and I have gotten intimate many a time. We hang out together and have many personal chats with one another. We spend a lot of time together, and I listen to her whenever she needs to talk (happens a lot, but still not nearly enough for my liking). I give her hugs and quick rubs/pats of affection. I tell her that I love her all the time now. She drops flirty hints every odd day, usually in an in-opportune time, where I'm either totally unprepared to react to what she says, or is in a public situation where a response made by me, any response at all, would be disastrous.
Lol, look at me.
My blog started off at how mad I am at my boss. Talking about work, a friend that I'm trying to be friends with again, Jamie...
You are always on my mind. Even when I try to let you go for now, and patiently wait until the day you're ready. You are always on my mind.
^_^
I missed a total of THREE days this month, and STILL managed to make a normal months of straight, regular hours, plus a tiny little extra in over-time.
I called my boss this morning, gagging against my own shortness of breath and constant urge to cough uncontrollably, and told him I was gonna come in today. I asked him politely if it might be okay if I had to leave early today or not. I am sick, after all, and not sure how I can get through this day, especially in the cold.
The fucker told me to stay at home today. He's upset, because I've been missing SO many days this month. Also, apparently, my attitude seems a little bad at work recently. No shit!
How the hell SHOULD I feel, shoveling 4 feet of snow that's packed and solid like frozen styrofoam, drowning on my own phlem, in temperatures that, to this VERY moment, have scarred my own nose, because I got severe frostbite from the rim of my glasses momentarily freezing to my own flesh?
I'm outside, where nobody wants to be, and nobody can see me. I'm the lone guy, braving the cold, making sure all the rich paper-pushers who come onto our chemical plants in their pointy shoes and expensive coats can safely make it to even the most obscure and least-used doors on our industrial plant site.
I bust my ass, working hard and honest, like any real man should do, and I don't complain about it. If I get too sick to work, trust me, I take a day off. Of course I'm worried about losing face-value at work, and looking like I'm weak or un-fit to do my job. I'd rather NOT be sick folks, and it would be nice to get a full-sized pay-cheque with a lot of extra over-time bonuses in it.
So, he's making me take today off. I'm a little angry at this, but also a little relieved.
Today is the day his accountant takes in our time-cards, and writes us up our one, month-end cheque. Since I can't make it in today, I have to wait until Monday, and then maybe another day for his accountant to process the papers that me and Jamie have to turn in.
Jamie is going to the hospital/clinic to get herself checked out today. Hopefully it's not too serious for her. Me, well, I've been through this before. There's a secret cure. My body knows what to do. I will, like before, eventually cough out a black, chunky-looking piece of phlegm. By then I'll be coughing so hard and painfully that my body will throw-up from the system shock. Once that black phlegm is gone, and the acid from my own puke has scoured my infected bronchial airway clean a few times, my infection will almost immediately go away. Trust me, like I said, this is how it works. It's happened before.
Jamie, well... I know she's tough, but I doubt that she could tough it out hat long on her own. Even as a woman, with her temperament and willpower, she wouldn't be able to endure this like I can.
She's allergic to Penicillin, it'll kill her. So the doctors will have to give her some really nice and powerful ALTERNATIVE drugs to cure her.
Me, I'm too stubborn to seek outside help. I refuse to go to the doctor, and get yelled at by them again for being sick in the first place. I don't like being told that I have to eat 2 servings of good meat a day, and 5 servings of fruit a day. I'm poor, and I can't live up to the 'recommended daily intake' as posted by our Canadian Foods Guide. I can't afford to buy and eat vitamins all the time, nor would it fit in with my lifestyle or routine. I'm more of a naturalist, and I believe simple medicines and cures are the best. Preventative action doesn't mean you have to indulge daily in un-natural drugs or vitamin suppliments. My diet may not be as big as the recommended charts say, but I do eat well, most of the time. It's just our variety and amount is limited, so my body has had to adapt and learn how to survive these many years using natural cravings and urges to set me right when my body is lacking something. I love veggies and fruit, and meat, and fresh, warm bread. I love drinking milk (even though it's not always available), and I keep myself clean and fit as I can.
So, back to my job problems. My boss wants to 'have a TALK' with me this weekend, to discuss my attitude at work, and why I've been missing SO MUCH work. (Boo Hoo...)
I went back to Sherritt for Jamie. She's planning on leaving him soon, so there's no need to stay there, except to make money. I can make money anywhere, and get treated better too. Really, I'm staying there right now only to keep Jamie happy, to help her out at work (when I can, we get pulled apart so often it hurts), and to give her a reliable ride to work every day (well, my trucks currently dead...).
There's a few places hiring right now. There's even a job opening at the Dow Centennial Centre, the place where they have a cool physiotherapy/massage studio that I've been eyeing. If I get a job there, I can make a million contacts easy as pie. Right now they're just hiring clean-up staff, and there's an Orange Julius stand there that's hiring as well. It'd be as glamourous as working at 7-11, minus the graveyard staff duties, the drunks, and convenience store thefts. Everything is behind a counter, so the job would be solely customer service. During the day. I could live with that.
Or, I could suck up my pride, and move up north to work in Fort McMurray, where all the big money is. Sure, I'd have to shift my entire personality and thought processes to become a greedy, self-absorbed work-a-holic like everyone else up there, but I'd be able to get a job. Maybe not a great one at first, but I could easily get my foot into the door with other companies.
What am I talking about? The boss never said anything about firing me yet. I'm sure he's gonna try hard to guilt trip me into working longer and harder for him. Or he's gonna dump more bullshit jobs on me until I break and quit on my own. Or I'll just get a warning, and get sent back to my normal hum-drum job, being lectured to watch how I act at work. The worst thing he could do is try and force me to work extra hard for him, which I wouldn't tolerate at all.
Gary Sharun is a fat, white-blob, who hates women, couldn't get laid if his life depended on it, and is himself a cheap and petty man. However, he is shrewd, and where he lacks common sense, he makes up for in his fierce business and greedy mind. He's a master manipulator, and even though I can obviously see his manipulations, he's too good to counter them.
Shawn Harding (the guy I fought with over Christmas about Jamie) is coming up for a visit this weekend. Him and I have started getting along again, and I've been trying to repair the damage I did.
Jamie isn't interested in anyone right now, not because she doesn't know who she likes yet or not, but simply because her current lifestyle doesn't allow any relationships for her.
If she ends up falling for Shawn, or me, or another guy, then that's her choice. The bottom line is, right now I'm ready to try a relationship, even a small one, with her. She isn't willing or ready to try herself right now. It's a patient waiting game, one which even I can barely slow down for. Still, I bide my time, and send her messages and clues all the time. Hopefully, soon, she'll start to look for what I'm looking for, and possibly consider me as one of her options.
She knows I'm a dependable guy, one who is filled with nothing but love and encouragement for her. I could make her happy, if I wasn't forced to hide my feelings. I could help her live a wonderful life, and as long as we supported each other just a little, we would both easily succeed. I'm the only guy that gets more pleasure from simple cuddling that just sex. I can listen well, offer advice, and find even the strangest of solutions to problems that she builds up to be bigger than they are.
It's true I don't have that edge of danger or mystery that girls crave. Instead, I'm the kind of guy that girls say they want in the end, even as they're eyeing the dangerous creep in the corner by the pool table.
I'm a compassionate, family man, who longs for simple pleasures and joys in life. Some of my dreams are big and un-realistic, but so too are some of hers. Maybe together we could both get what we want out of life, including happiness.
Well, until she's ready, I have to wait. I have to be her good friend and a loving brother until she's grown up a little more.
She's turning 20 this summer, and I remember hitting that age myself. You get shocked, and realize, that you're not really a kid anymore. Sure, as an 18 or a 19 year old, you feel adult, but you don't really believe it until the digits change. I'm hoping by then that she'll start to awaken.
Valentine's Day is coming up. I plan on giving her a romantic letter, and maybe a little something else.
I'm gonna give Stephanie a romantic letter too, so she can show her asshole boyfriend what a real man would write if he were fortunate enough to have an angel like my littler sis.
Steph and I are real close. If I was a girl, she'd be my 'girlfriend', because we have those girly kind of talks all the time. We sit around together, and openly discuss our own personal love issues and problems. We talk about anything and everything, and I think it's wonderful at how smart and mature my kid sis has turned out to be, and still retain that 16 year old kid spirit too.
We sit together on the couch, I give her foot rubs and massages all the time, I comfort her when her boyfriend treats her wrongly on the phone... Basically I'm doing some of the things that I wish I could do with Jamie.
Ironic, that the intimate relationship I want is being done with the person I don't want to have it with. It should be turned around. I should be darting around Stephs life, and getting intimate and close with Jamie.
It does happen, though. Jamie and I have gotten intimate many a time. We hang out together and have many personal chats with one another. We spend a lot of time together, and I listen to her whenever she needs to talk (happens a lot, but still not nearly enough for my liking). I give her hugs and quick rubs/pats of affection. I tell her that I love her all the time now. She drops flirty hints every odd day, usually in an in-opportune time, where I'm either totally unprepared to react to what she says, or is in a public situation where a response made by me, any response at all, would be disastrous.
Lol, look at me.
My blog started off at how mad I am at my boss. Talking about work, a friend that I'm trying to be friends with again, Jamie...
You are always on my mind. Even when I try to let you go for now, and patiently wait until the day you're ready. You are always on my mind.
^_^
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
