Today, I finally motivated my ass long enough to fill out some applications and shoot them out into the public.
Okay, I lied. I only made one application.
I'm scheduling my 'available to work' date to be November 1st, the day AFTER Halloween. I plan on having fun with my family for once this year.
Like I had said before, I plan on working indoors at WalMart this winter.
Why WalMart?...
-First of all, for my position I'm applying for, I won't have to serve anybody. That means nobody and noone!
-I'll be assigned to an area, one little area, and all I have to do is listen to some poor schmuck who's tied down with responsibilities. This means I alone will not be solely responsible for any screw ups or major mistakes.
-I shouldn't have to worry about shoplifting or thefts. Any co-workers I catch stealing can be quietly and immediately fired, and I won't ever have to deal with them again.
-I won't feel TRAPPED, meaning that if I hate my job, I can leave anytime I want. After all, being a shelf-boy shouldn't be that hard. ANYBODY can do this, except the hours suck for most people...
-I won't be working with chemicals, cars, machines, or serving annoying people. I serve one person, my area manager, and that's it. Everyone else can suck it! :P
-It's relatively close to home. No driving through the city of Edmonton and fighting rush-hour traffic to get home.
-I can stay clean at this job. No customer sweat fumes, no toxic chemicals, no grease or oil. Just my own sweat and filth. Amen to that.
-I can keep a beard, or stay scruffy.
-It's close to my bank, meaning I don't have to take unneccessary side-trips to cash my cheques or to pay my bills. Think of the savings!
I'm really hoping to get this job.
Right now, people are screaming for me to come back. 7-11, the chemical plants, even John wants me to return as a mechanic.
Pfft, screw that.
I want a simple job, one that's safe and easy to do. Money sucks, and I'd be happy in a prehistoric pioneer land where I can run around half naked or in loin cloths.
Anyways, hi family. Miss ya all, but right now I don't want to drive south, west, or anywhere outside of my city. Why? I'm not a natural traveler. Although I love traveling, I am not naturally inclined to initiate travels. Meh, you guys won't understand...
I like my spot. I belong here, and I'm relatively safe and happy here.
I'm going as Death for Halloween. I think I might change my robe into a Priest robe or something, go as a Necrolyte instead.
Lotsa love guys! Cya for now.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Hello Family.
It's been quite a while since I've last posted anything here, and I'll tell you why.
Applying at 7-11 was a HUGE mistake for me.
I am not a social person. I've been taught as a child to suppress my ideas and high levels of empathy and emotion. As such, I grew to be a socially-stunted person. It wouldn't be until I reached the age of 18-ish that I finally started to change for the better.
Some things are nearly impossible to change.
Remember that also my mother taught me values on how to be polite and respectful to people, to do unto others as you would have others do unto you rule. I can be an excellent person to others, catering to their needs and expectations. I've made impressive impressions on people that I've met over the years, and I am highly respectable as a person of outstanding morals and opinions.
However, when constantly flogged by peoples who have NO VALUES WHATSOEVER, my spirit starts to wane. I get genuinely upset that people can nowadays simply EXPECT to have this 'lorldly power' to do as they please, simply because it's their 'right' to do so. The attitudes, the lack of public decency, total absence of personal and public respect... God, these people that I had to serve simply DISGUSTED me. Still, I trudged heroicly on, keeping a dying store alive through nothing short of pure brute strength and stoic will.
After an entire summer of dedicating my very being into this self-destructive task, with my selective mindset and rigid values, I found myself losing control. These people made me frustrated, causing my constant back-spasms and loss of sleep. I felt desperate, trying to juggle duties that required me to stay at the till and serve despicable people as well as duties that forced me away from serving people and remaining out-of-sight of my till.
I did somethingthat I rarely do: I asked for help.
All summer I was forced to juggle alone, on my own, during the worst possible shift and season imaginable. Children stay up all summer until 5am. Coffee rush starts at 4:30 am. And all the while I'm trapped up front at the till while duties such as ordering, stocking, cleaning, etc., keep me in the back. It sounds impossible, it IS impossible, but I DID it anyways.
I would go home, too stressed to eat anything at all, and simply pass out after a brief shower. I'd try to sleep and rest, and prepare, for another night of hell- serving little demons that stay awake alll ngiht in the streets of Fort Saskatchewan. If I haven't been posting anything in my blogs, it's because I simply haven't had TIME. Or energy. Or frankly any desire to at the time.
I quit with no regrets. I endured the summer season, and allowed the store to survive for over 3 months. Now that it's winter, they're on their own again. I honored my 2 weeks notice, working a staggered shift on my birthday even, a day that I couldn't even begin to enjoy until 3 days after it had already passed.
Now, now I'm an unemployed bum. I will be working at Wal-Mart as a shelf stacker (they have a night-time sales associate title, but I basically stock shelves). I didn't really aplly yet, and I'm holding off for a few more days, but I'm essentially gauranteed a job there. It will be a nice indoor job for the winter. It's in-town (meaning I can walk if my truck dies for whatever reasons). It doesn't involve customers, chemicals, cars, engines, shaving, or popularity. I can go there, do my thing, get it done, and go home. Perfect for a hermit like myself.
I'll be able to establish a reputation as an earnest and hard worker again, AND be appreciated for my efforts. I can quit at the drop of the hat, as stocking shelves is not something that HAS to be done. It could be left undone for two days if I chose to quit, and the store would still survive.
I don't care about money, I never have. It's useless to me, only good for bills, rent, and a few pleasures that I grow bored of. I like walking, enjoying the peace and quiet of nature, and exploring things on the internet.
I just wanted you all to know that I'll be posting more freequently. However, I have multiple sites to maintain. I have my MySpace page (just do a search for Autumnbear) and a Freewebs account that I haven't looked at for over 4 months.
Anyways, I gotta run for a shower and a shave. I'm growing a beard on my chin, but shaving the heeks, throat, and forehead, so I look somewhat 'human' and less like a sasquatch.
If I sound like a bitch on the phone, it's because I am. I hate phones. It's an arduous task that I find limiting to do. At a computer, I can multitask. I can look stuff up, do this and that, and maintain a conversation and read it at my own pace. The phone? I have to drop all of my current activities, leave my room, and annoy everyone by replying to people through a series of awkward replies to an awkward phone call. It's embarrassing, tedious, and slow. I'll accept calls, but I'll make no effort to enjoy them. I hate phones, period. That's why I destroyed my last two cell phones. They pissed me off, people, EVERYBODY, calling me up, interrupting my life, to stand and stare into space, talking 'yup... yup... huhhh... okay... yup... yup...' Not fun.
Applying at 7-11 was a HUGE mistake for me.
I am not a social person. I've been taught as a child to suppress my ideas and high levels of empathy and emotion. As such, I grew to be a socially-stunted person. It wouldn't be until I reached the age of 18-ish that I finally started to change for the better.
Some things are nearly impossible to change.
Remember that also my mother taught me values on how to be polite and respectful to people, to do unto others as you would have others do unto you rule. I can be an excellent person to others, catering to their needs and expectations. I've made impressive impressions on people that I've met over the years, and I am highly respectable as a person of outstanding morals and opinions.
However, when constantly flogged by peoples who have NO VALUES WHATSOEVER, my spirit starts to wane. I get genuinely upset that people can nowadays simply EXPECT to have this 'lorldly power' to do as they please, simply because it's their 'right' to do so. The attitudes, the lack of public decency, total absence of personal and public respect... God, these people that I had to serve simply DISGUSTED me. Still, I trudged heroicly on, keeping a dying store alive through nothing short of pure brute strength and stoic will.
After an entire summer of dedicating my very being into this self-destructive task, with my selective mindset and rigid values, I found myself losing control. These people made me frustrated, causing my constant back-spasms and loss of sleep. I felt desperate, trying to juggle duties that required me to stay at the till and serve despicable people as well as duties that forced me away from serving people and remaining out-of-sight of my till.
I did somethingthat I rarely do: I asked for help.
All summer I was forced to juggle alone, on my own, during the worst possible shift and season imaginable. Children stay up all summer until 5am. Coffee rush starts at 4:30 am. And all the while I'm trapped up front at the till while duties such as ordering, stocking, cleaning, etc., keep me in the back. It sounds impossible, it IS impossible, but I DID it anyways.
I would go home, too stressed to eat anything at all, and simply pass out after a brief shower. I'd try to sleep and rest, and prepare, for another night of hell- serving little demons that stay awake alll ngiht in the streets of Fort Saskatchewan. If I haven't been posting anything in my blogs, it's because I simply haven't had TIME. Or energy. Or frankly any desire to at the time.
I quit with no regrets. I endured the summer season, and allowed the store to survive for over 3 months. Now that it's winter, they're on their own again. I honored my 2 weeks notice, working a staggered shift on my birthday even, a day that I couldn't even begin to enjoy until 3 days after it had already passed.
Now, now I'm an unemployed bum. I will be working at Wal-Mart as a shelf stacker (they have a night-time sales associate title, but I basically stock shelves). I didn't really aplly yet, and I'm holding off for a few more days, but I'm essentially gauranteed a job there. It will be a nice indoor job for the winter. It's in-town (meaning I can walk if my truck dies for whatever reasons). It doesn't involve customers, chemicals, cars, engines, shaving, or popularity. I can go there, do my thing, get it done, and go home. Perfect for a hermit like myself.
I'll be able to establish a reputation as an earnest and hard worker again, AND be appreciated for my efforts. I can quit at the drop of the hat, as stocking shelves is not something that HAS to be done. It could be left undone for two days if I chose to quit, and the store would still survive.
I don't care about money, I never have. It's useless to me, only good for bills, rent, and a few pleasures that I grow bored of. I like walking, enjoying the peace and quiet of nature, and exploring things on the internet.
I just wanted you all to know that I'll be posting more freequently. However, I have multiple sites to maintain. I have my MySpace page (just do a search for Autumnbear) and a Freewebs account that I haven't looked at for over 4 months.
Anyways, I gotta run for a shower and a shave. I'm growing a beard on my chin, but shaving the heeks, throat, and forehead, so I look somewhat 'human' and less like a sasquatch.
If I sound like a bitch on the phone, it's because I am. I hate phones. It's an arduous task that I find limiting to do. At a computer, I can multitask. I can look stuff up, do this and that, and maintain a conversation and read it at my own pace. The phone? I have to drop all of my current activities, leave my room, and annoy everyone by replying to people through a series of awkward replies to an awkward phone call. It's embarrassing, tedious, and slow. I'll accept calls, but I'll make no effort to enjoy them. I hate phones, period. That's why I destroyed my last two cell phones. They pissed me off, people, EVERYBODY, calling me up, interrupting my life, to stand and stare into space, talking 'yup... yup... huhhh... okay... yup... yup...' Not fun.
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